One Date Gone Wrong

And the adventures of online dating continue.

Well, as you know, I had a date with One last night. We were to get a delicious vegan dinner at one of my favorite restaurants and then mini golfing...which I was less than thrilled about, but whatever I didnt want to plan anything so I got stuck with what he planned, fine.

To begin with. I was just not attracted to him. I like my fair share of burly guys, but he was just plain overweight. And didnt even have a nice face on him to help seal the deal. nada. Plus, his personality was SERIOUSLY lagging. He was a quiet introverted type of guy while Im...well...not. And, our conversation was rough. I can talk until the cows come home but Id rather not, Id rather have a guy who can carry a conversation and ask me questions and give good answers and...you know, be normal. And my favorite part, was the details about his life. Lets see...unemployed, but applying for the Peace Corp (for a year from now, alright!), lives with his grandparents where he spends his days taking care of them because his grandma is going blind and is losing her hearing. I mean, thats super sweet and everything but COME ON. How are you expecting to get a girl if you dont have a job and live with your grandparents?! I just wouldnt even date until you had that crap together!

The other amazing part was how awkward he was about everything...I dont think hed been on many dates (obvi). He was hesitant to talk to any of the wait staff, I had to ask him to pick a wine and even then he just chose the one with the big picture on the menu because it was on sale and he didnt really know about wine, he didnt refill my glass when it was empty (but dont worry, he did tell me it was ok if I wanted more and to go ahead and pour some for myself), it was just weird. and you know what the worst part was? the very worst part? I missed whats-his-name. I know, I said it. But its true. I kept thinking about him everytime this guy sucked at being a good date. Whats-his-name was always SO polite and knew how to take a girl out. He had a nice car, a fancy job, his own place, nice family. And we always had the best conversations and greatest chemistry. He always refilled my glass. And let me go first. And talked to the waitstaff. Nevermind that Im 80% sure he just wanted to get into my pants and has been a jerk these last few weeks (probably because he hasnt gotten into my pants, obviously). So that was weird for me. I realized halfway through the date how my mind was on whats-his-name and it freaked me out. I mean, hello, he hasnt been a good guy. Im still really annoyed by his recent behavior. So that was interesting.

(AND for the record, Im not super shallow and only care about a guy having money. I mean, if I met a guy I had a great time with who didnt have those things Id be ok with it. In fact, theres a boy I still have a crush on who isnt wealthy and it doesnt matter to me. But I do require them having a job and hopefully not living at home...or in squalor. And thats really not too much for a girl to ask for. So rethink your comment about how Im a gold digger or shallow or whatever it was you were going to write, thanks.)

Anyway. Everything was so weird and kind of awful, that I just decided half way through the date to be my own date and have a good time as well as I could with myself. haha. So I drank some wine. Ate some good food. Talked as much as I wanted. Was all giddy playing around the mini golfing place. And at the end of the night Id had a good time...just not with him. haha.

All in all it was a good experience. I learned:
-A girl always needs to have an escape plan (I was out by 9, not too bad).

-Dont date younger guys (I already knew this, but I decided to experiment. Experiment gone wrong).

-If everything is lonely you can be your own best friend! (a favorite line from a Bright Eyes song that seems to fit the bill).

-Dont be afraid to be "mean" and peace out after dinner with your made up excuse. And when they ask if they can call and take you out again...dont say "maybe". Because now I have to deal with that. ugh.

Tonight, Im actually looking forward to the date with Number 2. We've spoken on the phone and he seems normal. But really im more excited to go see the movie in the park since no one else would have gone with me. So if everything is lonely again, I can be my own best friend.

I just really wish whats-his-name wasnt a jerkface. Things would be so much easier. Well, not really, but in theory they would be. That doesnt really make sense does it. Wine does this weird thing to me where it relaxes me but then I cant sleep...so Im tired. and a little delirious from a long busy week.

Oh Whats-his-name, you slay me. strike three!

Remember how whats-his-name fell off the face of the planet for...2.5 weeks now? Remember how it was because "he was busy with work" and "had the flu?"

Well, lets have a little snippet into our FINAL conversation (via text) in a little episode I like to call,
"A Jerkface? Or not a Jerkface? That is the question."

Set the scene: After I got his long message on Saturday about how sick he was and sorry for not calling FOR TWO WEEKS I decided to call him back Sunday evening. Left a normal person voicemail. Didnt hear back. I decided Tuesday night would be a good time to check in and see how he was and if he was worth my time.

Me: Are you dead? Did you die of swine flu?!

Whats-his-name: Dude, why u keep saying im dead? this's like the fourth time ur telling me that

Me: uhhhh because you had the flu and Im asking how your doing. nm I wont bother you again, jeez!

Whats-his-name: yea, usually people say "how are you feeling?" not if im dead

Me: well I guess im not usual people then.
-------

I KNOW RIGHT. Stop me anytime if im overreacting...BUT There were no words. I was literally speechless at his reply. There were so many emotions...anger, annoyance, sadness, confusion...I may have teared up a little upon the first reading. I mean, my stomach jumped into my throat at how incredibly rude and WEIRD his reply was. Granted, I did ask him if he was dead 2 weekends ago when I hadnt heard from him all weekend...even though we were supposed to have plans. And, my texts werent super star but its something I would ask any friend if they were sick, its just a fun way to ask how they're doing, right? Seriously, this guy is so freaking weird. I mean, WHO SAYS THAT?! Especially to a girl they supposedly like? so rude.
So that was his last strike.
hes donzo.
Even if I am overreacting, then apparently we dont communicate well and Im over it. I cant believe how angry I am about it.

Thoughts racing through my mind...
"is he SERIOUSLY talking to ME that way? Are you kidding? Who do you think you are? Why would I want to date you when you just made me feel bad about myself? What is wrong with you? How dare you speak to someone like that? Am I overreacting? uhhhh no, if any guy makes you feel bad about yourself then hes so not worth your time. Dating is supposed to be fun. dating is supposed to be fun. dating is supposed to be fun..."

so yeah, file that away in the weirdos folder.

so now when he calls, mamas gotta SHUT IT DOWN. thats right. DOWN.
and he'll call, dont you worry, they always call. ahaha

In other "dating" news, besides the Thursday date with One I now officially have a date with Number 2 for Friday. I convinced him to drive up here so we can go to a free movie in the park that Ive wanted to go to all month. We will be seeing Four Frightened People. I plan and drinking all the wine and making out like all my other dates!

Joking people. that was a joke. Please dont leave me comments about how Im a whore. I know already, thanks.

Ive just made an executive decision to start tagging my entries. Mostly because I love the nicknames for my dates so much that I want to tag the entries about them.

oh, Numero Tres emailed me with the subject titled "Hello Emily". Poor Numero Tres, he never even had a chance.

Oh, The Times They Are A Changing...

Some things are just weird.

Like, whats-his-name barely contacting me for like 2 weeks (see previous posts about our 3 dates over the last few weeks) then to find a voicemail from him on my phone last night, "so sorry, I've been super sick with the flu all week and have been missing work and its just been really awful..."

uhhhhh now what.

THEN One plans to take me out on Thursday. He picked a restaurant with vegan food which was cute, BUT THEN. BUT THEN. BUT THEN. we're going mini golfing. IF YOU KNOW ME AT ALL, YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT GAMES IN GENERAL. LET ALONE MINI GOLFING.

uhhhhh now what.

__________________
Phone interview for Teach for America.

Good. I think I did really well and knew what I was talking about...it was actually a lot easier then I thought it would be. I think practically being a teacher already helps...a lot. The final in-person day long interviews are between October 19-23, I sign up for a day. I find out if I made it to the final interview on October 6, my birthday! The day long interview is what Im dreading. Not because it will be difficult, but because it will be boring...haha. Also, I just read about the summer institute Ill have to do if I make it. 6 weeks of intensive teacher training and then teaching summer school for 2 hours in the evening. kill me now. I already am SO SICK of my teaching program, i dont know if after I graduate Im going to be down to spend 6 weeks doing it all over again.
PS thanks to everyone who asked how it went! Your all so stinkin cute, i love it. And I know you all secretly dont even want me to really leave you, so its extra sweet:)

__________________
Birthday.
So far the plans are weird and slim and everythings been crazy and its frustrating. But I have 2 for sure AMAZING adventures planned and am thrilled about them. BirthDAY me and my best girlies from school are putting our passes to good use and going to disneyland!!!
1) you know how much I <3 disneyland.
2) birthdays at disneyland should be a law.
3) i have a pass for I get $70 disney dollars to spend instead of getting in for free!!! My plan is to all get Mickey Ears to be adorable for the day and I want to spend my dollars eating at the Blue Bayou which Ive never gotten to do before and I get to wear a "its my birthday!" pin and get lots of attention. And you all know how much I love attention, haha.
THEN me and my original best girls are going downtown on Friday to dance it up real good. Cammie hooked us up with a sweet hotel room at his work. Ive never officially gone dancing downtown, I dont know if ill like it since im more of a north park kind of girl...but who cares, its my birthday+drinking+favorite girls+getting dressed up+music+dancing= GOOD.

I have other friends I want to celebrate with too, but I dont like forcing them to take me out to celebrate for my birthday. haha. So dear ones, its all in your hands. Call me and ask to do fun things with me.

NOT MINI GOLFING THOUGH.

oh god, what am I supposed to do about that.
More importantly, what am I supposed to wear to this soiree? What does one wear mini golfing? Normally I get dressed up for dates, do I have to wear pants now? But I hate pants. And what if whats-his-name calls? pants and golf and boys?! this is all too much for a girl to bare.

Not Crazy Anymore.

New boys want to date me! hooray!
To begin with:
So whats-his-face never called all weekend. I was somewhat concerned since its very unlike him not to call when he says he will...and lets face it, I was somewhat annoyed. so I texted him to make sure he wasnt dead and sure enough he had to go out of town for work. You couldnt have told me? Very rude. I didnt say that to him of course. But I thought it...lots. But he said hed call me this week, so Im trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. Well, its Wednesday. Which still gives him a few days, but I'm not counting on it. and after a day or two of being bummed and anxious about it, I'm fine now. Just all of a sudden I was fine yesterday and didnt care if he ever called again. So there you go.

And always, just when I think Ive gotten used to things as they are things change again. Yesterday after I was all fine, 3 more boys asked to take me out. Yes, thats right. three. And not just random weird ones, they asked too but I dont count them, actual legit young men.
Well, kinda.
One is 2 years younger then me and just graduated and is unemployed, gross. But after I told him those were my reasons for not going out with him (just a weird thing I have...must not be younger or cant not have a job...so strange isnt it;) he wrote me this long thing where I was convinced that at least we'd have a nice evening together and Id get a free dinner out of it, haha. So yeah. He'll be calling. I promise Ill be nice.

Number 2 gentlemen actually has a real job and from what I know about him, he reminds me of whats-his-name. Same kind of job with investment banking or something and similar life aspirations. He was nice and again, not my type, but not unattractive either so Im going to let him take me out. We have a wine date for tomorrow evening. I still dont have a lot of expectations for it being either good or bad...but it could still be fun. I didnt make it shopping the other day, now I HAVE to go! yay!

Finally numero tres is some beautiful actor man from Glendale who talked to me for like an hour and was SO nice and we had such a lovely conversation! He asked for my number but I doubt anything will happen. He just lives so far away. But it was still fun to have someone interested in me. Thats always nice for us single girls. we need attention too.

So thats my update for the day. Ill keep you all posted on how things go with number 2 and if anything happens with One or Numero Tres. And yes, those shall be there names now. Number 2 keeps reminding me of this guy:
Who isnt even the real Number 2 from AP, but I just keep thinking of him. Remember when he kept dying and it wouldnt work out? ahaha Oh man, mike myers and will ferrell together are like my dream team.

The real Number 2. Hopefully mine wont have an eye patch. Or be a million years old.

TIRED

I'm tired of writing about my boy woes. However, today is the first day where i feel like its not consuming my thoughts entirely. So instead of whining about how boys suck and im going to die alone, Im going to discuss (probably whine) about other things.

But just really quick. We have this awesome conversation on wednesday, right? Then he texts me and we talk throughout the week and I get a...ill call u when the weekend gets closer so we can make plans...and everythings great. UNTIL the weekend comes and nothing. nada. zip. Just as I was beginning to maybe trust this guy a teeny tiny bit, he pulls this crap. And honestly, i dont care THAT much. Im just more annoyed than anything else. And extra frustrated that now I have to deal with THIS. He said that he was a gentleman and always calls even if its to tell a girl he thinks they should just be friends. His record has been perfect so far. SO i can only expect hes going to call and either give me the "lets just be friends" speech OR I have to give him the "your rude and wasted my time this weekend and may not call me again, ass." NEITHER is appealing to me at the moment. plus, seeing your extremely ex boyfriend with his new girlfriend over the weekend while all this crap is going down doesnt exactly boost a girls self esteem. and now I feel bad about myself. awesome. Glad the weekend is over so I can get back to being busy...and awesome.

in other news. in regards to feeling bad about myself, Ive been thinking more about moving to NYC. I have my phone interview for the program THIS WEEK. Ill find out if I made it to the final interview at the end of the month, and final interview is at the end of October. But suddenly I dont feel "cool" enough to move to NY. And how will I make friends if I teach children all day? I dont know any cool restaurants and I dont know if I want to fit into the Brooklyn crowd or the uptown crowd...decisions decisions. Then again, beautiful men wanted to befriend me literally on every corner and its so different there...they just strike up conversation with you and then your going out later for drinks. Its crazy. Not like here. SO different. Its like NY is one big party where everyone you meet was invited so you already have that in common. What if I get depressed from constant dreary rain all the time? What do i do with Worms?
I guess moving is always scary. Moving to NY is always scary. I just want to go. Im going to go. Ill figure it out. Im still going. And if it sucks Ill just fly across the pond to Paris and remember where I can find my soul whenever necessary. Or just fly to visit Cassie and REALLY remember who I am. Oh, I do miss her.

Lets face it. Ill never be as "cool" as her.

THE PLAN:
Im going shopping. Whenever I feel bad about myself I go shopping to remember how awesome I am. I am a very good shopper. And do not deny myself the high one gets from buying something 75% off, I just use it wisely.

Im also going to bake a pie. A vegan peanut butter pie and you cant stop me. Also, to remind myself how awesome I am. Shit, I can shop and bake and care for large groups of children, Im like a professional 1950's housewife over here. Now wheres my vodka and Valium;)

Still a Crazy Person

Oh the boy. Oh me the crazy person. Oh what a long week. Oh my dramatic heart.

SO basically, without getting too much into it (despite what you may think I DO realize this is a public blog;). We went out for drinks on Monday and had a nice time...besides the fact that he smelled, haha, i forgot to tell some of you that, haha. I know he had gone to the gym so maybe he just stunk from that...but it was just sweaty man smell which I dont mind tooooo much. Plus, I smelled like Marc Jacobs Daisy so I made up for both of us. it was funny though. I didnt tell him so, dont worry.

ANYWAY, so we were having a nice time and he invited me over again for our next date on the upcoming weekend...again, I refused. and again he questioned me as to why I refused. After a bit of an awkward debacle about how "Im not that kind of girl", and hes somewhat confused, it was time to go so he walked me to my car and gave me a weird peck of a kiss and that was it. SO I assume thats it. I never expected to hear from him again.

Based on my experiences with men (limited, but still existent) once they realize Im not sleeping with them on the first few dates, they're over it. Mostly because women are whores nowadays and they can just find someone else. Also, its NORMAL for me to think that when hes inviting me over to his house, thats what he means, RIGHT? im not totally insane here. So I was all frustrated with men and women in general and questioning my classy way of doing things (SO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME I EITHER HAVE TO BE A SLUT OR AN OVERLY PRUDE CHRISTIANY WERIDO?! THOSE ARE MY OPTIONS?!?!?!). I was just sad and reminded about being alone, and feeling like a crazy person, etc.

BUT (and its a big but), just as I was over it and wasnt worrying about it anymore by wednesday, HE CALLS.

yeah. seriously.

and acts like nothing is wrong. but im super surprised so he asks me why and we get into it. He explains that when he invites me over, he is really just inviting me over and ISNT insinuating anything and isnt a gross guy who likes slutty girls anyway. He keeps telling me hes a good guy, he doesnt treat girls like that. and I keep telling him that based on my experiences im just trying to be cautious. and that I dont have to trust him yet after 3 dates. so we keep talking and even more surprising the conversation ends nicely. he texts me later that day because hes thinking of me. he likes me. he just may be a real gentleman. I just may have watched too many Lifetime movies or Law and Order SVU and may be a little crazy. we're going out again this weekend.

the end.

lesson learned: dont be a crazy.

PS: Thanks everyone for all your comments. They are always so helpful and sweet. Love you all!

I'm a crazy person.

He said he'd call and he always does so I wasn't worried all day. But
then it got to be evening and I started to panic. Reviewed the entire
date trying to figure out what I could have overlooked as not good,
sat in bed for 20min feeling sorry for myself, planned a clever text
to send him if no call by 9, and then as soon as I had written him off
and regained my self confidence as an amazing woman...he called.

Were going to have drinks tomorrow night. (trying to avoid his house
like the plague.)

I'm a crazy person.

The Dinner Date

Luckily I got rid of the rents so he could pick me up without having to meet them...i mean, I think he would have totally fine and my parents could have probably held it together...but I just didnt feel ready for that. I dont want all my dates to have to meet my parents, I still want it to be a kind of special thing. SO he picked me up in his Mercedes, and I looked pretty stinkin hot (curled hair, fake eyelashes, the whole deal), and he told me I was pretty, and we went to When In Rome.

He ordered us really good wine, at my request of nothing too dry. They made me an AMAZING pasta primavera at my request of nothing with cheese or meat. Our cute old italian waiter tells me, "oh, we'll make something for you, we'll make something for you.". The pasta and sauce were SO fresh Ive never tasted anything so flavorful! Then I broke my no cream rule and had a bite of 3 desserts, all of which were delicious. Besides the yummy food and atmosphere, we had such a nice time together. Had so much to talk about and we both just get along really well. We really like to discuss things about just different random stuff. We are both opinionated and like to talk about stuff, which is so fun to have someone to talk about stuff with. And its never heated, its always just in fun and in the end we just agree to disagree or laugh. So that was great.

Then he invited me to his house. And I knew that wasnt a good idea. So we went to a quiet bar down the street instead. We just talked and enjoyed each others company more there, and I realized half way through the conversation that I hadnt noticed anything else in the entire room...we were just totally in the moment enjoying our time together. It was sweet.

He kissed me.

He complimented me lots.

He also offered to take me to his house 2 more times, which I politely refused and changed the subject. As much as I want to, I mean...I am a real person, Im just trying to be a lady. A nice girl. Being a nice lady is a lot more work though.

He said he would call me today, and we might have plans for tomorrow. He always calls when he says he will and will usually text me or something...but nada today. NOTHING. and its getting late and im anxious. Which is annoying, because after the first date I only kinda cared if he called or not. But now all of a sudden Im all fussy and anxious.

But im just about over it. As in, if he doesnt call he doesnt call.

Im not super duper attached, we just have fun together and its nice to be liked so of course I dont want that to end.

He has a few more hours, we'll see how it goes.

A Lunch Date

WELL
I forgot to tell you all that I had another date with someone else on Monday. We went to Poisidens in Del Mar. It was beautiful, right on the beach, and such a nice day. We had a nice time, lots to talk about getting to know each other and everything. He has a good job, nice things, nice car, sounds like he has a good family, likes to travel, has lots of things to keep him busy with friends and activities during the week, hes a good guy. My only hesitation is that he isnt "my type"? Im just SO attracted to the arty musicy Indie guys who never like me back and are typically pretentious jerks anyway without jobs or proper social skills. He is the polar opposite. Works in intense corporate America and LIKES it, which, you know me, so NOT my thing. This guy is great, we just dont have anything in common really, which also seems to freak me out a little. He does like to travel and do cultural stuff like I do, but more because he was raised to like them and less because hes a freak about them like me. Which is fine, at least we'd have some things to do together.

Anyway, we had a really nice lunch. He knows how to treat a girl, which was really great. Opened doors, paid for everything even my valet, always made sure I had sparkling water, it was a good time.

SO he called the next day (crazy right) and we are going to dinner again on Saturday.
I'm just excited to get to know him more and to have fun.
Dating is fun.
It just requires a lot more thought.

Your all so excited you get to follow along on my dating adventures, hehe.

Currently watching a crazy movie called Rabbit Proof Fence. Its for my Art & World Cultures class and its such a crazy story. I cant believe just 80 years ago this happened. They used to STEAL aboriginal children from their families and send them to live in schools to learn to be servants where they could only speak english and had to follow Catholic traditions. Its really awful to watch. And amazing how the Australians didnt learn from how awful our Native America "re-education" plan went. Its pretty much the exact same thing. so sad.

Ok, back to work.