How To Eat Clean & Meal Plan

A lot has been going around about "clean eating", non-processed foods, gluten free, paleo etc. Luckily eating non-processed foods is not just another trend, its actually proven time and time again to be healthy for you and logically makes sense for your life. It's been easier for me to eat clean rather than just eat to lose weight...and I find I am at least maintaining my weight this way. Whenever I add exercise and cut out some of the heavier foods that are still clean but just too carby for me, then I lose weight too! Everyone is different though, so maybe carbs aren't your enemy like they are mine.

Growing up in Southern California means we are OBSESSED with our weight, health plans, being skinny, exercise, etc. Whenever I go back to the south with my love I am so happily surprised that my size 14 hour glass body is not just considered normal there, but I am smokin hot! However, whenever we try and tell his family and friends about how we normally eat they simply do not get it. They think we eat "organic" and that means we don't have meat and only raw vegetables. Its pretty hilarious. But really, what is clean eating? This really just means I know what all of the ingredients are that I am putting into my body, and I know that I am not eating a bunch of hidden sugar, hydrogenated oils, msg, and other weird junk my body cant process and serve NO nutritional value. I try and take it a step further and have organic when I can afford it so I am also avoiding all of the pesticides that sneak into our meat, dairy, fruits, and veggies too. Plus organic meat and dairy means the animals are treated more humanly, which is turn means I am not eating something that's been living in its own poop and eating grains, antibiotics, and junk its not supposed to. ALL of that goes into your body when you eat this kind of meat! I dont need to go on about this, there are plenty of documentaries (like Forks Over Knives which was a recent success), books, and blogs serving up this kind of information and safe alternatives.

Assuming you already subscribe to this, and are a working single woman or almost momma like me (21 days until we are home with our little buddy now!)...good luck trying to eat this way without help. I am so busy I don't have time to sit and make up recipes and crap. I hardly have time to even cook! I read about some of these women or recipes and laugh and how time consuming and hard to find the ingredients are. So that means I have had to get into a great routine in shopping and meal planning, its been working for months now and is so easy and now FUN I am excited to share. I was barely cooking for months because I was so burnt out, these last few weeks have been so fun getting back into the kitchen for real.

Steps To Clean Eating Success (for real people):

1. Spend 15min/week pinning recipes
1. I only get snippets to do this, 5min here and there. I have them all in one MAKE board.
2. I also have a few blogs and websites with recipes I scour when I have a few free minutes, I pin the recipes I like to the same board so they are all in one spot when I am ready to plan
2. Spend your 15min break at work choosing 4 clean and under 30min dinners from your pinterest, 1 freezer dinner, and 1 soup
1. For example, a quick view of my pinterest board has been choosing:
• Monday taco night
• Tuesday whole wheat spaghetti with a sugar free marinara with sauteed portobello mushrooms and zucchini 
• Wednesday: shrimp and roasted asparagus
• Thursday: salmon and roasted tomatoes
• Friday: Something fun! (see below)
• Saturday: frozen chicken for a chicken bake
• Sunday: wonton soup
2. I put all of the ingredients I need into a standing grocery list I have in my phone. The staples are already in there, so I just have to delete last weeks recipe section and add the new things from this weeks menu. I also write what the names of my dishes are just like I have in #1
3. The first 4 meals you obviously make the first 4 nights after the store when everything is still fresh. Fresh is best! 
4. Frozen chicken serves great in many meals you could do over the weekend
5. Soup is EASY and a great Sunday meal when I am feeling lazy, plus the leftovers = lunch on Monday
6. Fridays are my favorite, I add cheese/sausage/wine to my list so on Friday I get a break from cooking and we have a little date at home (more on this amazing tradition another time!)
3. AND VOILA! DONE!
1. See? Clean eating is easy when you just do incremental planning during the week. As I find great recipes I have this amazing repository of them just sitting there waiting for me to cook. It also makes trying new things mixed with old favorites easy. This week I am going to try and make my own bread for our Friday night tradition. 

It helps if you have a Trader Joe's, Sprouts/Henry's, or other all natural store nearby. I am obsessed with Trader Joe's but even all of their products aren't particularly clean or organic, but they do make it easy for me to whip up meals where I know all of the ingredients at least.

Other options are emeals where you can get a menu with a grocery list emailed to you every week, I did that for awhile but then decided I like choosing my own meals. Find what works for you, clean eating doesnt have to be difficult, time consuming, or icky. We eat delicious food every night of the week!

Good luck!

xoxo

HL

The Gift of Time.

As I get older and birthdays, Christmas, weddings, or even just Mothers Day get togethers become genuinely special because we so rarely force ourselves to get together (and I just LOVE my friends and family too much for words). I think especially after my momma was sick, every year we have to celebrate with her has become even more precious. 

As these events call for gifts to the person being celebrated or just to each other in general (e.g. Christmas) I realized lately I have been changing my gift giving style and methods. No longer do I spend time rushing around on the way to the event trying to find something suitable, unique, something they'll actually use instead of just putting on another shelf or in another drawer. Something they'll love and think of how much I love them when they see it. These are all well and good, and sometimes I do still find myself seeing something so perfect for someone on Etsy or at a vintage store I can't help but tie a bow on it and give it to them. But we already have so much stuff. There is no reason I need to continue to add to someones piles. Besides, what is it we really value anyway? Time. 

It started with my parents. They are so difficult to buy for because they already have so much stuff, and the new stuff they want is too expensive for a single gift. Plus, I know finances are tight so they never get to do fun things anymore like dinner out, the movies, etc. So I started buying Groupons for them as presents. Wine tasting on a yacht around Dana Point! Dinner out anywhere! Movie Tickets! Then I noticed my aunt and uncle never go out and do anything because of their kids, so my family started giving them dinner/movie certificates which included free babysitting from one of us. Now as boyfriends birthday comes up, I already started saving for premium seats at a Padres vs. Braves game (he LOVES the Braves). For people who don't ever get time together, and when they do its busy running errands or doing chores...time doing something fun together even as simple as a dinner out, can be such a treat. 

As our little bear prepares to arrive I haven't bought him a single toy. All of them were given to us (or borrowed. Besides second hand books, you can never have too many books. But even those you can get free from the library!). Even when I thought I'd have to buy him some toys I was going to just get a train set, cars and car mat, and blocks before calling it a day. That is PLENTY to keep a toddler entertained in the evenings. You know what we are spending our money on instead? Fun things together the week he is first here. Nothing too fancy and all activities we get a military discount on, the zoo, children's museum, and the kids area for a $3 baseball game downtown being most notable. Otherwise the beach, my parents backyard, and our pool seem like a perfect way to spend time together without overwhelming the little buddy. We just want to BE together outside...even a hike around the lagoon by our house would be sufficient. 

It's amazing how when you take your "I NEED MORE STUFF" glasses off, how much the world opens up. You are free not to care about all that junk anymore, and instead dig for the cool things we can fill our time with that are free in our neighborhood. We all work so much, sadly boyfriend can't help it and I will be cutting my hours once little buddy comes...but still. It makes time together even doing simple things, all the more precious.

So as Mother's Day comes up, I'd encourage you to think outside the box and find something to DO that you know she would love. My Momma doesn't even care what we do together, she just misses me all the time so something as simple as a coffee date would be good enough. And our mother's day event? A free picnic outside drinking and eating snacks in the sunshine with each other. 

Enjoy your friends and family.

xoxo

HL

It's Been Awhile...

By the ever wonderful Kurt Halsey

I have wanted to come and pour out my heart, truly I have! And there isn't even an excuse of time since my love is still working evenings and mine are spent laying around watching British dramas and making Trader Joe's dinners. So there isn't a proper excuse other than the breadth of all I feel I'd have to say. And how draining it makes me feel. So I don't even begin.

However, my boss is running late so I am snatching away 15 minutes this morning so try and get back in the game. I miss writing. I miss the time. Hopefully this will kick start me back into the routine of it.

Things are very much the same. His work schedule is still really hard on us and I am still crying here and there throughout the week. Usually Sunday afternoon when he leaves and I know I won't see him again for 5 days, and Thursday evening when I go to bed alone again and just can't take it anymore. I don't think the time apart and alone is really as difficult as the weekends seem to be. We have Friday evening through Sunday afternoon together each week. We don't really want to see anyone else and there isn't enough time to go away for the weekend, take a day trip on Saturday (since he needs to stay on his sleep schedule) to do something, or even see other friends and family who miss us. The last two weekends have been bombarded with invitations to girls nights, boys nights, family nights, etc that we can't deny and want to attend...but then its hurts our time together. And the left behind person gets upset and lonely knowing their love is somewhere else. I know it's better then him being deployed or away in Brazil like last year- this I know. But our little time together is so pressured. And I just feel sad. This is not how it is supposed to be. You aren't supposed to be away from your love like this. It'd almost be easier if he worked away for weeks but then was HOME when he was home and we could be together. It'd be about the same. Except we wouldn't get to sleep next to each other for 3 hours at night. Which isn't very exciting.

So I finally broke down and decided to ask for a half day on Friday's from work. It's been a month and is only getting worse, not better, and I feel like I should take advantage of my flexible work environment while I can. Then at least we'd have Friday afternoons off together and could do things on the weekend if we liked and just the 5 hours more together AWAKE would make such a difference. I don't know why I feel so nervous to ask!

Furthermore, we want to do premarital counseling, some cool couples retreats the base offers and any regular doctors appointments or government hour errands I need to run don't get done unless I take a half day here and there. Why not just have this planned time?

In other news I am still moving my ass and loving my new fitness routine. I literally can't believe my energy levels and how good I feel. If anything it is really helping with the stress and need to stay moving and keep busy while dealing with this change in our lives. Even working out 4 days a week I have only lost 2.5lbs in the last few weeks, but weigh in and take new measurements again Wednesday and expect some more. I'll be honest, choosing non processed, lean proteins, low-carb foods is easier than I thought it'd be. This is the easiest "diet" I've ever been on, which is good since it's not really a diet. Just a life change that's been in the works for a number of years. Slowly but surely cutting out icky things until we've gotten here (except on special occasions and some meals so as not to starve myself of things I like and risk falling off the band wagon entirely). I also broke down and quit cooking full on meals and just get the Trader Joe's semi prepared meals. Their salads and wraps for lunches with a fresh avocado, and fresh marinated lean meats and vegetables for dinner. Throw in some protein shakes for breakfast, nuts, and fruit for snacks and that's pretty much all we eat. Literally our fridge is a pile of salads for each of us hehehe. My stress level from meal planning and preparing went from a 10 to ZERO. Plus our food budget somehow comes up less and less each week too. I even found goat cheese filled ravioli there one carby night for this cow milk allergic lady! I really want to lose a significant amount of weight to at least be where I was a few years ago, but slow and steady wins the race I suppose.

Currently MOVING: 4x/week. 2 miles a day, running 1/2 mile of it. Strength training 3x/week following the run/walk. Arms, chest/back, legs. Killing it.

xoxo

HL

Be: On the Move.

Something has come over me. I have become a healthy eating, exercising, move my ass everyday FIEND. I've always eaten healthier then most, especially with my bout of vegan/low grains for a year awhile back then weight watchers on and off, the dairy and red meat allergies, etc. My time in Slovakia and in the recent months of not being on a diet for the first time in 10 years was important for me at the same time. Sadly I've gained weight, which is to be expected for a year of not giving any fucks.

I've never really been into exercising though. Couldn't afford a gym membership, plus crazy schedules every few months made it difficult to get into a routine, have the energy to wake up early, find anything I actually liked enough to keep doing regularly. Now that I am an adult with a normal work schedule, money and time to meal plan, a gym right out the front door of our complex...I am riding this bandwagon and loving it. I will try not to post too much about my progress, (that's what my Facebook challenge group is for. Which I highly recommend as it keeps you accountable and motivated) but I just can't help but share some things. I hope they encourage and motivate you to. If my 200lb ass can get moving, you can too.

The Plan:

Eat.

Breakfast: I've replaced my morning hemp protein shake with Beach Body's Shakeology. I have a lot respect for this company since I personally know people who have found great success with their exercise and eating programs. It's a little expensive, but I budget for it each month and figure I am replacing an entire meal for $4 which isn't too bad. Plus the first month has a money back guarantee and they have a dairy free option I am loving (really difficult to find quality good tasting non-dairy protein shakes).

Benefits Already In A Week: My tummy problems have completely cleared up. My energy is through the roof. Less cravings and I am full until almost lunch. I like that if I want to eat a big breakfast I just swap this for another meal. I want to weigh myself but need to buy a scale to see if I've already lost in the first week. 

Last Week I Ate This For Lunch: Summer Salad

This Week I Am Eating This For Lunch: Quinoa Casserole (vegetarian)

We still love our low carb emeal dinners too!

Move.

Train for a 5K: I am on week 2 of this self.com 5K training plan. We are signed up for our 5K on April 4th which motivates me to get up every morning so I can make it through the race successfully in the coming weeks. I love that the plan is varied so I am only on the treadmill 2-3x/week and am at yoga or doing weights the other days. Keeps things fresh and I am already looking into what my next "plan" will be after the 4 weeks! Do I keep going? Switch it up? Try a different cross training class besides yoga? It's becoming oddly "fun".

Benefits Already In A Week: SO MUCH ENERGY. The first day of the week is tough, but I am still already awake a ready to go at 5:00am. I don't yawn through my day at work or fall asleep on the train ride home. I get so much more done after work because I have energy to do so and somehow am going to bed a titch later then when I wasn't exercising and still feel rejuvenated in the morning. This week compared to last week my interval running was already a tiny bit easier and my muscles aren't as sore today! Even on my "off days" I needed to be moving somehow, sitting around the house just wasn't appealing. My love and I walked around our village and got a donut to share and healthy burritos for lunch. At least 30min of walking even on my off days? Unheard of!

As the days go by I am becoming more and more aware of the habits I have created. Drinking more water. Packing my healthy snacks. Putting out my workout clothes before bed. Stretching throughout the day for my tired muscles. Finding motivational posters, workouts, meals on Pinterest. It's like this secret club I never knew existed! It's nice to have the boyfriend on my team. We do our meal planning together, encourage each other when we work out, and hold each other accountable for food we eat when out and about (but without being mean about it). I keep looking in the mirror waiting for my body to look as different as I feel. But we still have a long road ahead. A long but doable road I will be proud to look back on. 

Good Luck Friends.

xoxo

HL

Be: In Every Moment.

Another blow to my tender little heart yesterday when my love slowly and quietly springs on me 

"So...I am working all night Friday. And...Sunday night I start the night shift until further notice" 

FROWN FACE. 

So yeah, yesterday and today have been emotional. The only "consolation" is that he may go to school mid March for another program and the nights would be over...but then he'd be half way across the country for 3 months and we might have to move somewhere else once he's done. I know it'll be alright, I know this is what I signed up for in falling for a military man, and I know I should be thankful he isn't in Brazil anymore. But only getting to see your best friend and love in the entire world before you go to work in the morning each day is rough. We cherish in few hours we get together at night as it is. 

However, this is not a post about my whiny heart. On the contrary. 

We are learning to live in the moment like never before. You never know how long you have to be with someone. We've felt this in the boyfriends time with his little bear, my time with my mom while she was sick, and now with each other over the last year. Finding we have to balance allowing our heart to hurt, while at the same time enjoying the precious time we do have in that very moment. He likes to pretend he isn't sad when saying good bye to little bear. Everyone else will be crying and he'll be cheering everyone up trying to remind us it won't be that long until he he'll be with him again. Trying to cover up any emotion, be the cheerful strong one for everyone else, not feel things. Meanwhile whenever something sad is happening or coming up I start to fret about it. It casts a shadow on every moment and time. Dread and sadness fill me up so I can't enjoy the moments I am having. He is practicing feeling things, and I am practicing not letting my feelings impair me from enjoying life. We aren't perfect. We are learning to balance. 

This new change in our time together is just another brick in this path toward the balance we are seeking. Making every dinner out, every hand held, every kiss, cuddle...all of it count. 

And now I'm all emotional again.

If you are going through this with someone you dearly love too, I wish you peace and perspective in your journey toward balance. I wonder if any of us ever get there? 

xoxo

HL

Currently Eating...

I have been on our 2013 healthy eating plan for 3 successful weeks now and am excited to share what is working. I haven't weighed myself yet, so I cant update that part. But I can say I feel good about what I am putting in my body, my energy during the work day is up, and I am feeling better about myself because I know I am actively working toward my health goals. Hoping to lose 30lbs in 2013 and make my choices life habits.

Breakfast: 

• Hemp/almond milk/banana/peanut butter protein shake
• The Zone chocolate and peanut butter protein bar and a banana
• Eggs and veggie sausage
• Multivitamin with B12 (oh man the energy!)

All worth getting up the 15 minutes earlier for! I am about to try a new protein shake that's also supposed to help with digestive issues, hunger control, and give you vitamins. We'll see how that goes.

Lunch:

• OBSESSED with the Light Progresso Soups, and Campbell's To Go Soups. Yummy variety of flavors and it's nice to have something warm at lunch.
• Can of tuna with avocado mixed in
• TRY THIS. SO GOOD. 

The variety of soups have kept lunch fresh for 2 weeks, switching this week to some salads with quinoa and other vegetables just to change it up. Leftovers from dinner are also nice treats.

Snacks: 

• In season fruit! Currently loving peaches and pears, I just buy 5 and take them to work on Mondays so I have one for each day.
• Nut packets from Trader Joe's, or a handful of almonds
• Tuna. If I didn't have it with lunch, usually I am ready for it by about 3:00pm and my body loves the dose of protein to ward off the afternoon slump. 

Dinner:

• emeals low carb dinners!

• Seriously, this has been my best investment yet. There was a groupon to pay for this meal planning service and I am so thankful. Every Wednesday I get my week of dinner recipes that all take 30min or less to make, and a grocery list. We both work and don't get home until late but still wanted to save money and be healthy. This has RESCUED us.
• They have a variety of meal plans to choose from if you aren't doing low carb. Mine ends up being kind of paleo since I don't do dairy automatically either, we are enjoying it thus far.
• Some nights I opt out of the emeal because I want to cook something I enjoy to make and eat that's still healthy. Especially on the weekends.

Secrets...

• A cookie a day keeps the doctor away...
• We had these leftover cookies from a dinner party a few weeks ago. These big delicious oatmeal raisin ones I just salivated over. I decided one night to just let myself have one. Then the next day after eating healthy all day, I had another. Then I noticed they were each under 200 calories. Now it's just become my thing! There are literally oodles of snacks and treats in the office right now and I have bypassed them all because I am so excited about my after-work cookie tonight. I only have ONE (or whatever the serving size is if they are small) and always after eating healthy ALL day. I count it in my calories for the day too. Amazing what a little sweet incentive will do.
• Tonight I don't get a cookie because mom's making us home made mashed potatoes. Sometimes I switch up my treats but try and keep them in moderation. 

• Weekends are for eating...
• Ok thats not true, but I do find myself having a hard time sticking perfectly to my almost zero carb plan during the weekends. So the weekends are for relaxing. I have my drinks, pizza, toast with breakfast, french fries at the bar, and only on the weekends. However, I find myself watching my portions, sharing the french fries, moderately drinking, making healthy pizza with goat cheese and whole wheat crust at home instead of ordering in, etc. So even though I am adding the carbs on the weekends, they are still healthy choices overall.

I haven't been perfect. Some nights we got fish tacos. One night we didn't get home until 8:00pm so Taco Bell was the only option we had energy for. But I am still watching my portions and choices in every situation I can. 

Movement

• Signing up for a coupon worth of exercise classes or a 5K dramatically increases your will to move your ass. We signed up for a run with all our friends in April and have started training for it today! I am following a plan I found on self.com, but you can always use Couch to 5K to get moving. I also bought a pack of yoga classes I'll be incorporating into my training schedule too.

• Walking during lunch breaks is a nice addition to a work schedule if you are too rushed during the morning and evening. I am lucky and get to walk to the train for work a few days a week, plus will take strolls during the work day so I don't want to kill myself. Every bit helps.

What's working for you? 

xoxo

HL

The End of an Era.

Well a lot happened in the last year. Besides, moving back home from Europe, starting a new job in an entirely new field, then moving in with the boyfriend, I also managed to gain 15+ pounds. FIFTEEN POUNDS. That's a lot when I am already considered "overweight" to begin with and am only 5'5. I won't bore you with how I am combating this weight gain with my sweet new healthy eating and exercise plans, instead let us tell the tale of when I realized I need to dispose with half of my wardrobe. It includes a crying fit in front of the bf so get ready for this ride.

We were going out last Saturday afternoon to the bar and I wanted to wear something cute and nice, maybe even a little saucy. When I put on one of my favorite sexy yet casual dresses the boyfriend looks at me and says, "baby, you are going to wear THAT?" and proceeded to show me how my ass was practically hanging out the back of it. I didn't freak out yet, just put on a different "looser" dress that's still a little sexy. Turned around in the mirror, SAME EFFECT. So obviously the only answer was to take off everything, get back in bed, and start crying and pouting.

Oh it was terrible, I had a good cry and the bf sweetly just stroked my back and hair and told me I am being silly and shouldn't complain about my awesome ass getting bigger. Jesus also talked to me a bit and reminded me of everything that's happened this year, 15lbs isn't that much, I am doing better with my diet, but more importantly...why are all my clothes WHORE clothes? Suddenly I realized! I am trying to stuff my 27 year old- practically married self into tiny dresses I've had since I was 23 and trying to land a man. A handful of them I can wear with leggings as cute tops now, but really I need to do another purge. It's time to grow up. No more running around in tiny dresses from my college days, I am a grown ass woman with a booty and boobies that need to be somewhat covered up on a regular basis. Plus, with the baby coming in about a month I can't be flouncing around with everything hanging out all the time.

Therefore, next pay check I will be officially purging some of the too tiny dresses, and filling up my closet with some ADULT WOMAN casual wear replacements.

I knew 2013 was going to be a big year.

NOT ACCEPTABLE ANYMORE

Oh hey boobies.
You are too old to be flashing around anymore!

Oh you should see my ass hanging out the back of THIS.

ACCEPTABLE

Shows off my curves without everything hanging out everywhere- I say win!

xoxo

HL

Challenged.

Love is so sweet.

Honestly, I just love having my man around. I can't believe how nervous I was for him to come and us to be together. Most of me knew it was going to be okay, but the nagging in the back of my head and the weird looks and comments from friends, strangers, and family about our situation left me often considering- maybe we ARE crazy? But gosh do we love life. Every moment together, even when we are fighting or just sitting and watching a movie feels special to me. Being able to check things off of my "do with bf" list every week. It's just such a special time, we feel like newlyweds. 

But boy does living with the man you love challenge you. Not in the way you would think, and the way I thought when people said living together is hard. It's not in the "don't leave your dishes in the sink!" way. That stuff we are figuring out and it never escalates  But in the way that...I am learning so much about myself already that I never noticed or knew before. Frustrating things I need to change in my life. Twice this week, and once in Mississippi I had one too many drinks and insulted my friend or the bfand then the bf accidentally. They both knew that I didn't mean to be so rude, and love me anyway, but bf called me out both times. And I have some serious issues with filtering things I say while drinking. I cried my eyes out both times because I felt so horrible. And hurting the people you love the most is heartbreaking to say the least. The bf told me straight up, "Sometimes I just don't think you filter what you say and realize it's going to hurt people". Damn. 

So I am taking the next steps ASAP. Firstly, limiting the amount of alcohol I drink for awhile. Half because of this and half because I want to lose some weight (more on that later). I am going to try and always stop at two except for special occasions when more might be necessary, such as a long evening event. I am also trying to be more aware of what I say, my tone, when I say things, etc. Apparently sometimes it's not what I say, but how I say it that hurts people or has pegged me as kind of a bitch. Finally, and most importantly as I feel rather overwhelmed by this personality change overload...I am praying. I learned long ago the only real way to make changes is to give it up and actively ask Jesus to do things in your life for you. I want to try and ask Him in the mornings and of course in the moment when I am struggling. If you aren't spiritual like this I understand, but even meditating when you are in tough situations is proven to make all the difference so I am not a crazy person here.

I also want to work on how I react to these situations. I was so upset every time I got called out for being a jerk. Although this is sadly a natural reaction, really I should have responded with a self-realization and change on my part. Not a cry fest and "I'm such a horrible person wahhhh" night. I am doing better now. Even writing this I am thankful for the exposure to the change I need to make in my life.Thankful to the moments when my love sweetly points out something I may want to work on. Thankful to God that these are the reasons he gives us other people so live and love so closely with. To make us into better people. 

I love that I now have a new years resolution that ISN'T about my weight and health. Of course that is a big one too since I gained about 15lbs last year, but I am tired of my outside being my biggest focus. I am thankful for something my inside gets to tackle for awhile. To top it off, I am also feeling drawn to doing some volunteer work with the bf. We both love kids and are really good with them, plus after so much practice in odd and potentially unusual situations, we could do a lot of good things for others and our hearts by doing a little service somewhere. So it would appear 2013 is about making over my inside a bit. Being more loving in what I say and do. And in turn being more loving to my body in what I give and do not give it. Looks like I have some work ahead of me.

xoxo

HL

Be- A Hostess.

Quite a week I found myself in, being the only local lady with her own place these days I was happy to host everyone in town for the holidays. Even my gentleman is back home for the holidays, so I found myself in a perfect position to host a bunch of girls nights. Unfortunately I still had to work all week and managed to get really sick early in the week...so as lovely as this week was, I had to be hyper organized and prepared for every evening (three in one week- crazy!).

A few lessons learned and am glad to pass along...


Be in love with your crock pot and rice cooker.
I planned what I would cook as a main course a week in advance so all of my shopping was done. Then I just had to get up 30min early each day and put everything in the crock pot for that evenings party. I'd recommend the following which are tried and true recipes that are always a crowd pleaser:

Garlic Clove Chicken
Not for vegetarian crowds of course, get the pre-peeled garlic clove packs for this to save time, and have everyone else bring a salad, veggie side dish, and an appetizer. Seriously delicious.

Refried Beans and Spanish Rice
Perfect for a vegetarian or vegan crowd, I also provided tortillas and salsa but had everyone else bring another Mexican inspired dish or taco bar toppings. Really yummy, and everyone loves a taco bar.

Salad
The first night when my produce was still fresh I was smart and didn't offer to make the main dish. Genius. Just made a lovely salad and enjoyed the main course brought from another guest.

Splurge for cute paper ware.
I love the environment, so I don't traditionally use paper ware but I just found that hosting three times in one week meant three clearing and rinsing, three dishwasher runnings, three emptying, and three resetting the table sessions. On top of cleaning up after the party, it was just too much. Target has some cute paper ware thats even compostable (so it won't take a million years to decompose in the landfills of course). Go for it. You will be so glad you did.

Compostable plates
Pretty, but non compostable
Cute and festive plates (without being obnoxious)

Good booze, good music.
Get your favorite drink fixings with enough to share and invite everyone else to bring something too. Most people bring red wine, so I try and provide something else top shelf. A great playlist you can have on lightly in the background and don't have to fuss with is also a must have.
Try some of these favorites of mine.

Loved being a hostess, looking forward to doing it again once the bf and I are both back in town after the holidays. A sort of "meet the long distance boyfriend" evening where I might even splurge and make all three courses! More tales of being a real adult to come...

xoxo

HL

How To Get Boys To Like You- Be Independent

As I've been cleaning and getting ready for our big move this week, Ne-Yo's "Miss Independent" keeps coming on my fun playlist. Yes, Ne-Yo inspired this post. But really the entire theme of the song is something I am not sure many women understand as something being truly attractive. You can call it "being independent" or just the simple HAVE YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. Some key points...

How do I rescue myself? How do I not be a shit show? Surprisingly this is actually pretty simple but unfortunately if I have to explain this to you I don't think you will ever get it. But I shall attempt anyhow.

• Don't put your life on hold waiting for some imaginary Prince Charming to come and save you from your debt, going nowhere career, crappy living situation- insert here the thing you think will be better once you are married or meet "the one". No one is coming to "rescue" you, the idea of this supposed rescue is a bunch of crap that the media and stories fed to us as young girls convinced us of. If anything, you are your own Prince Charming. You have to rescue yourself. And furthermore, no quality man is going to want to fix you all up. (If he does then run, because he has his own rescuing issues he needs to work through and will probably leave you once he finds you unfixable OR has rescued enough. Then the fun is over. Seriously, don't be the girl who needs fixing) 

• Get a career. Not a job. Working at the gas station or Starbucks are jobs, not careers. If you want to make them a career then thats perfectly fine but quit being lazy and ask your manager what you need to do to get promoted and work from there. Do you want to seriously be with guys who work at gas stations? Yeah, well the good ones don't want to seriously be with you either. Sometimes we need to do things in the short term just to make some money and are going through a hard time- which is understandable. Just as long as thats not where your goals and aspirations stop.

• Living situation. Are you in your late twenties and still living at home? Do you live in a crappy apartment with a weird room mate? Once again, sometimes extreme situations mean that these experiences are temporarily necessary- I get it- I've been there. But as long as thats not your long term plan. That you are working toward something bigger and better where you can host a lovely gentleman and not be embarrassed by the crap everywhere or your parents in the next room. NOT ATTRACTIVE. Nothing is more attractive then a woman with a great place she takes care of all her own.

• Sadly being an alcoholic shit show all the time while out or home is oddly not attractive. If you keep wondering "where are all the good guys?!" while you probably scared them away while you were throwing up that one night, spilling stuff everywhere the other night, slept with that weird guy another night, and took your top off last night. Sorry, boys don't like crazy. Crazy is reserved for when you are with your girlfriends or when he's stuck around awhile and doesn't mind taking care of you every once in awhile when you've accidentally had too much. Even with a mixed group of friends this isn't really appropriate  Where do you think you are going to meet guys? Friends of friends obviously. And don't think they aren't going to tell everyone about that thing you did over the weekend. Once again, we've all had our moments. I know I've had mine. But let's make these experiences the exception and not the rule shall we? Try and be a lady. Boys tend to like that. 

If you are having a hard time meeting "good men" it might be because you've scared them all away with you not having your shit together. You don't have to be a perfect high powered office employee or something. Just be the kind of person you would want to be with. Would you want to stay over at a guy's house who has 15 cats and never cleans his place because he's too busy working at Burger King? Yeah, I didn't think so.

Make a plan to not be a shit show. Doesn't have to be too intense, just one step at a time. If you don't want to, then quit complaining that you can't find a guy. And don't be surprised when you get stuck with a guy who works as a bus boy with 3 kids from 3 different women. You attracted what you put out. 

xoxo

HL

Be: Healthful.

I made a decision over the weekend. One I wanted to make awhile ago but didn't have the funds. Now that I am an adult with a real adult job, cook mostly at home to be healthy, am back in America with bountiful health food stores and fresh produce, plus I will soon be cooking for a man (and hopefully a little buddy too)...therefore, we are going to officially switch to organic as much as possible!

There is no reason not to, my grocery shelves are full with delicious looking local organic produce, meats, and anything else I could want. I know it will be a slow transition but I think it is just so valuable. AND once we get settled I am going to sign up for an organic CSA box so we can save money on some fruits and veggies every month and support our local farming community! I think we will be spending a lot of time at home the first months whether he leaves again on deployment or not...so having to be creative and make new things seems like something that would be fun to do based on whatever we get in our box that week.

So I began today with my "I spent all my money in Vegas" grocery run for bananas and almond milk. Organic were the same price as regular! Lucky me. I also decided to just suck up the extra money I know it is going to be each week and just shop at Trader Joe's like I want to. They have everything I want and its healthy and easy to whip their dinners together...I was in denial that I just don't have the time or energy to cook after work all day. So it's time for acceptance. Instead of just planning on cooking and then ending up eating Rubios fish tacos 3x/week...ok that hasn't happened quite yet but it easily could.

In other news I got our gas and electric set up to go on when we move in AND got our renters insurance today!! Tried to also do the internet but have to wait until we actually move in apparently. Now just need to get Bellas vaccination records and our drivers licenses copied and we can officially move in! In...UM...19 days?!?! eeeeee!!! And my baby will be here with me in less then that!!! Oh man I am just going to float away...

xoxo

HL

Thankful.

I think these kinds of signs are stupid and will NEVER have them in my home. 

Yeah thats right, Mrs. Grumpy, pleased to meet you.

Everyone is doing the "Today I am Thankful For..." exercise up until Thanksgiving. Which as sweet as it is, being in the mood I have been in this week my mental response to their posts has been anything but kind. Which means I probably need to start doing it. Ugh.

I know Jesus (or whatever spirituality you subscribe to) wants us to get out of our heads and look around. Experience gratitude not for the loss of things in our life but for the flood of good. Especially when I remember the feeling coming back from India and being truly thankful for every little thing I had. Running water. Toilets. Toilet paper in bathrooms. Bathrooms in public places that weren't holes behind a little wall. Living in a country that cares for its people. Ice. Cold drinking water. Screens on windows. Air conditioning. I could go on and on. Things I never thought were blessings being in a first world country but SO are. This doesn't even touch the horrible life stories we heard of abuse, rape, HIV, babies being left, etc. That opens up a whole new drawer of thankfulness.

So since it is annoying me so much it probably means I need to do it. To stop making this all about me and my love leaving again, as terrible as that is, and start shifting my thinking and realize even in this I am blessed.

However I will spare you the blog posts and keep it at the twitter level. @blackandlashes

Begrudgingly I go to write my first one...arg.

xoxo

HL

Good Eyebrows. Good Times.

Don't get me wrong, I love plucking my eyebrows as much as the next girl. Every morning I have my little routine... Saturday I spend as long as I want and relish every minute. I don't wax mine because it makes my skin angry, but I know those ladies usually swear by eyebrow pencils between waxes. However, I still LOVE my new eye brow pencil and I will tell you why for the following reasons!!

1. Don't have to pluck everyday anymore. Saves me like 10-15 minutes every morning!

2. The look is much more dramatic and I can totally see a difference in how it shows off my features.

3. It takes maybe 5 seconds?

4. Apparently you can do these up more dramatically for special occasions or nights out. Haven't mastered this yet.

All in all, kind of obsessed with my eye brow pencil and encourage you to have your nearest make up counter fit you for one.

(PS this is not part of the lazy day weekend make up routine!)

Apparently Obese.

Oh did you know that according to the "always accurate" BMI index Ms. Christina Hendrix and I are considered obese? YEP.

So fun huh!

As mentioned before, I gained about 10lbs since I moved to Slovakia and back...I really just wanted to lose that and maybe 5lbs more. However...I've been on weight watchers more or less for 3 months now and totally sucking at it. Have gone up and down and am settled at the same weight now that I was when I began. With less then 6 weeks now until the bf gets to see me naked again after 6 long months (eeeeeee!!!), I kind of wanted to feel sexier then I did before. More comfortable in my own skin than I usually am. This has been a struggle.

Since I know I am not what I usually am, I am super self conscious about everything and am SO NERVOUS about him seeing me and thinking I look worse then I did before. Even though I am the same as when we were in MS together...I am being ridiculous. And a man seeing ANY woman he loves and is allowed to bang after 6 months isn't going to care AT ALL...but still.

So there I was. Feeling like crap. Getting my gym stuff together. Trying to get my shit back together. Trying to meal plan until my head was spinning....When birthday night happened. When the above picture happened.

When I remembered, DAMN GINA! YOU'RE A HOT PIECE OF ASS!!!

After not getting dressed up like this for awhile...after having NO ONE compliment or look at me (I work with all nerds)...I kind of forgot? And I forgot that socal is obsessed with looking like this:

When really my man (and most men outside of our little socal bubble) prefer my booty and boobies WAY over a stick thin blonde. Even if he wasn't with me he wouldn't go for that. This is hard to comprehend, let alone remember. In fact, after I met his friends in Tupelo they told him later "that chick is fucking HOT man! I would do her!" which although crass, isn't that how every girl wants to be described? Sexy. Hot. Beautiful. Desirable. 

I am really close to just canceling my weight watchers subscription and continuing to just make healthy choices almost everyday, but I genuinely think it makes me aware and at least maintain my current weight so I am sticking with it. Trying to say good bye to my nagging voices though. I always thought I'd have more confidence when I got older and these nagging voices would go away...and they've definitely gotten quieter. But they are still there. I suppose for all of us they always will be in some sense. Also hoping after I have my man around and SOMEONE noticing when I wear a new dress...or telling me I'm beautiful...or desiring me everyday...will help with this little blip too.

Girls are funny aren't we? Somedays I feel like the sexiest kitten around...and the next I want to wear sweats to work and cry. 

xoxo

HL

How To Get Boys To Like You- Be Confident

Found on Pinterest. 

Being confident sounds simple, but it's probably harder than even the first ideal "Be Attractive".

Because you can throw on a hot dress and tons of make up but still feel horrible about yourself- and men will still be able to tell. Maybe even more so if you look like you just walked off the street. And they will use your lack of confidence against you. To hook you in. Sleep with you. Then peace out before the sun comes up. And if you are just having fun and don't want a boyfriend then thats ok too, but be very honest with yourself about this. Most women I find who say they don't want anything serious are lying to themselves and everyone else because they don't think they can find someone serious so they just give up and pretend like its fine. Don't be afraid to want something serious. It's not weird. Just be honest about what you want. Whatever kind of gentleman you would like, let's attract him because of how smart, funny, and awesome you are NOT because of how your boobs so slightly hang out of your dress every night and how easy you look.

Being Attractive is a huge step in the direction of having confidence, but then even the most beautiful of girls still sell themselves short. I can't tell you exactly what you need because every woman is different- but I can try and point you in the right direction. You have to take it from there. I promise, the men will follow.

• Ask yourself, What do I deserve? Why do I think that?
• To the first question literally the only valid answer is "Someone who treats me well. Makes me laugh. Has fun with me. Wants to care for me. Shares similar values." Seriously. That's it. So if your answer was different then this- its time to reassess. 

• Are your expectations too low? Do you not feel like you deserve this or that a guy like this really exists out there for you? Typical men issues are weeded out by this simple description. For example: If he's a bum without a job and smoking weed all the time then that means he doesn't care for you, who cares if he's funny and cute. Case closed. Explore why your expectations for yourself are so low. Was it how someone treated you in the past? What someone told you? Do you think you are a lower level woman and therefore deserve a lower level guy? Every woman deserves this. Even if she's messed up before. She can fix herself and start fresh. I repeat, every. woman. deserves. this. 

• Are your expectations too high? Is your list of "wants" filled with physical looks, intensive spiritual values, weird hang ups on meaningless trivial things? Then give it up. No wonder you haven't found a guy, he doesn't exist. Just follow the simple guideline and it'll become clearer who is and is not a good one. But more importantly, why are your expectations so high? Ask yourself and think about it. Is it because of how you were raised or because you are using these as excuses to not get to close to someone? Are you afraid of getting hurt so you put up these defenses? Figure out why and try and fix your perspective on who and what you want. There are amazing men out there who are not Prince Charming or Mr. Perfect. They have pasts, issues, baggage, and drama just like you do. But they are still amazing and it's worth it. Just like you're worth it. 

• Practice Being Content
• This connects to Being Attractive, but like I said you can be the most beautiful girl in the room and still lack confidence which makes you easy prey for men. They can tell by the way you carry yourself and/or the skanky outfit you wore tonight that you need attention because you have low self esteem. (PS I wear sexy outfits to go dancing in all the time just because I like the attention and feel pretty, but not because I am trying to get a man. Big difference. And the hottest I've ever looked has been when I was trying to impress Mr. Boyfriend)

• If you are practicing the aspects of Being Attractive and feel good about yourself then Being Confident should come naturally, but sometimes it doesn't. There's always someone prettier, smarter, sexier, insert issue here- in the same room as you. But you have to learn to be content with who you are. Of course we always want to strive to be a better person, thats why we read and take care of ourselves...but you will never look like Scarlett Johanson or Beyonce and you have to find that place inside of you thats ok with that. That feels amazing just the way you are. It sounds cliche, but it's true. Stop comparing yourself to everyone else and just practice being content in where and who you are now. 

• Fake It
• Sounds odd I know, but somedays we just don't feel good about ourselves. Screw it, some MONTHS we don't feel good about ourselves. While you actively try and get yourself out of the rut, just fake your confidence level as being high. Of course we don't want to overdo it, but "fake it till you make it" always rings true with this one. After pretending for a little while you'll start to really feel it and be back in the game before you know it. 

I've been through all of this lady. Confidence is the hardest, but the most important. There are plenty of books on self esteem and worth out there you can look into too. But men are SO attracted to confident girls, even more then the hot but obviously desperate ones. You know how I got Mr. Boyfriend to stick around? I laughed at him trying to hit on me because it was so ridiculous and I had enough confidence to not fall for it. They'll call you beautiful just to weaken your knees- I promise!

How do you feel confident?

xoxo

HL

Series:

• 1. How To Get Boys To Like You- Be Attractive
• 2. How To Get Boys To Like You- Be Confident 

Too Sweet For Rock n Roll

"You're too sweet for rock n roll"- Penny Lane, Almost Famous

I sometimes think I am too sweet to watch and hear about such intense things in the world. After taking a 6 month hiatus from watching The Wire in the middle of season 4 due to overwhelming plot lines and emotions I finally finished the season this week. It took a lot to get me to watch again. And days later I find myself still haunted by everything I saw and felt. There was crying, night mares, and a complete re-evaluation of my entire life.

Yeah I'm not joking. Some random fictional TV show you may not of even heard of had that much of an effect on me. Boyfriend told me I should just stop watching it if it makes me so upset... but for some reason I feel like its somehow my duty to keep watching. Basically the show is widely considered one of the best ever on television, by HBO from a few years ago, and over 5 seasons takes you deep into inner city Baltimore. The drug world, the flawed education system, the police, even up to the mayor and government. All more realistic then you would care to see. And considered realistic even by real inner city Baltimore people. Why did this affect ME so much?

I've been wondering the same thing.

Because it's real. Because it's the real lives of so many people. Because it reminds me of my mother and where she came from. And furthermore, reminds me why I became a teacher and wanted "to change the world". Suddenly I find myself working in white upper class corporate America creating products designed to sell more shit to other upper class white people. Getting excited to go to work to contribute to nothing significant was beginning to wear on my heart before I watched the show, but now I think one of the nails on my career coffin is beginning to be nailed in. I don't feel like I need to up and quit my job and join the peace corp or something, but I can give money to organizations that I know are changing the world and make my plan for a future time when I can do the same.

I guess when I think about it, Boyfriend and I are working really hard to get baby bear away from crazy baby mama asap and want to adopt kids in a few years too. I am already taking steps to get out of debt and pave the way to be able to stay home with all my babies we give homes to. Until then- separately God told each of us we need to be doing something now, so at minimum we are both looking into where we want to give our 10% every month. I chose India of course. When he gets here and we are settled we can look into where we want to give our energy and time too. And boyfriend and I both have a heart for kids and living in other countries so we've already talked about where and what we want to do.

Being patient and seeing that where I am at is where I am supposed to be continues to be a struggle I suppose.

xoxo

HL

How To Get Boys To Like You- Be Attractive.

Yeah I know.

It's ridiculous I even have to write this. But, alas- here we are.

I am continuing to come across women who just don't understand why they can't get a boyfriend, dates, positive male attention, have a man stick around for longer then a few weeks, etc.

After being around the block a little, and seeing how crazy and complicated women make this. I would like to venture some suggestions, the first of many.

1. Be Attractive

This is about as casual as I get.
Just leggings, a top, and some flats.
Pretty nbd.

First lets cover the basics, I understand not all of this is intuitive for some women for various reasons. But being attractive doesn't mean you always need to looking like you walked out of the pages of a magazine- but at least attempting to come close helps. A basic list:

• Shower every morning so you don't smell like sweat and ass.

• Showering before a date or interacting with men.  

• Wear some make up when you leave the house. (see below for simple practical tips)

•  THROW AWAY your ugly and old stuff. Seriously, take it to good will and go shopping. Try to wear cute and feminine clothes. 

• Shave. Did you know you can train your hair to not grow as fast? I only shave my legs 2x a week in the summer and its totally fine!

• Do your hair. You can also train your hair to not get greasy after a day, I only wash mine 2x/week but it looks nice everyday.

• Take care of your nails. They don't have to be fancy, but I spend $40/month to go twice a month and get them done so they always look nice. I figure it into my budget and its important to me because I am taking care of myself and it's an after work appointment thats not a horrible errand or cleaning or something. Just for me. 

Seems pretty simple, but you can't be lazy and have to make some effort everyday. My few things I always have that make me look "together" and feel confident no matter what I'm wearing are diamond earrings (faux $12 ones from Target, seriously), I always have my nails done, and I don't wear sweats or pajama type clothes out of the house. Replace your relaxing weekend sweat suit with actual presentable options like leggings and cute tops or comfy dresses and sandals. I own ONE zip up hoodie I ONLY wear around the house when its cold. Why? Because you never know who you are going to meet and when. I have men flirting with me all the time everywhere I go, if I wanted to- one thing could lead to another and those could be dates. And of course someday when you have been together awhile you can start to relax a little if you want to (men do this weird thing where they think you are BEAUTIFUL all the time...its super weird), but until then the goal is to attract. So do it!

I know if you are not feminine it makes it intimidating to try and learn all the make up tricks, what to wear, etc. But start slow, and heres some tips:

• Visit an Ulta or make up counter and they'll give you a head start. I don't wear a ton of make up but what I do wear- makes a difference. Something simple you can do quickly every morning and a few extras for nights out and special occasions. I buy good products that last me a long time and don't hurt my skin, but start small if you have to. Youtube videos are also a free resource on how to apply. 

• Visit a hair salon and have the stylist work some magic, buy and learn how to use the products they did. Continue buying and using them!! THIS IS KEY. DONT BE LAZY! But this is also coming from a girl who dyes her hair at home to save money, and only washes it two times a week to save money on products/dye and I know how to style it so it still looks good. If you get up a little earlier 2x/week and do a good job on your hair, it'll last a few days!

• I am not skinny. I have an hour glass figure and am short. I scrape the bottom of the barrel to spend money on clothes. And yet, I have a pretty decent wardrobe and know my body/what will and will not fit me in stores so shopping is quick and painless. Read some fashion blogs. Figure out your body shape and which stores cater to it. Just because a store carries something in your size doesn't mean it'll look good. Same for whats "in fashion", might not look good on your body and thats ok. If you have NO clue then just visit a store you like and have an associate help you- its what they do.

• Treat yourself well. Eat healthy most days. Exercise a few of those days. Being healthy and caring about yourself is very attractive. 

I might add some links to tips on this eventually, but for now get up a little earlier. Make an effort. Don't be lazy. THEN tell me boys aren't talking to you and we'll address the second installment coming soon!

xoxo

HL

PS I am not perfect. I am not judging. I just felt like women maybe didn't realize that step ONE is looking and feeling amazing all the time so wonderful men can be attracted to you. The proof that being attractive works?

Before

Why did I ever feel like this was appropriate? 
Why did I ever wonder why I couldn't get dates or boyfriends?

After

Still not skinny. Still not expensive. STILL SO MUCH BETTER.
Guess who had more dates then she could handle and got an amazing almost-fiance out of it?

Being attractive. Works. 

How To Get Boys To Like You- Be Attractive (this one!)

How To Get Boys To Like You- Be Confident

Dear Booze, We Need A Break.

Dear Booze,

I love you. We have been very close friends for so long now. But we need a break as every time I have more then two servings of you, it feels like you are ruining my stomach lining. 

I am only taking this break in hopes we can make up again soon.

I will always love you.

xoxo

Yeah. Thats happening. SAY IT ISN'T SO?! I know. But about two weeks ago I was going through some SERIOUS stomach pain though for about a week. So bad I was barely eating for days, had to go to the doctor, get a cat scan, and am now on super strong prescription strength anti acids for 3 months. I don't know why I was surprised when I went wine tasting last weekend and got super sick afterwards (no one else did quite as bad, and I didn't drink more then I should normally be able to handle). Then last night at another party I only had my normal gin and tonic...and yes I was drunk- but again, it wasn't more then I should normally be able to handle. Who was throwing up in their friends bathroom for the second weekend in a row? Uhhhh YEAH. Not fun. I'm too old for this shit. 

So it finally occurred to me. Hey crazy, remember how your stomach is really angry and you have to be on medications for it for 3 months? WELL MAYBE you should try and cut out the excessive drinking habits EH?! 

Luckily the big events are over for the next few weeks until Kathleen's wedding and then my birthday, but still- all of the happy hours, bowling 'team' I might join with some friends from work, dinners and drinks with friends- alcohol is such a big part of my life. The idea of going cold turkey without it is a little ridiculous. So we are going to work on having a 2 drink limit for awhile until my lil tummy can calm down. 

And to avoid being THAT girl puking in the bathroom every weekend and wasting Sunday recovering. 

It's All Happening.

Holy Crap.

It's September.

I turn into a mommy and pre-wife in 3 short months.

THREE MONTHS to buy all of our kitchen stuff...organize my shit in the garage...lose 30lbs...find an apartment...get a new car...prepare to be MUMMIFIED (yeah thats right- that just happened).

Perhaps not surprisingly I find myself flip flopping from being SO EXCITED to freaking out every other day. There's been more then one whine to boyfriend,

but I'm just afraid somethings going to happen and we are going to be stressed out and you're going to leave meeeeee

All said very fast and high pitched. To which he replies something to the tune of:

quit being crazy. I love you- ya nut. 

I think boyfriends should consider just recording this and replaying it for us every time we hit our crazy button again.

Nothing between us has gotten any less lovely, I think our long time a part just has me worrying if it will translate to when we are actually together again. Which is understandable. I was the same way before we saw each other in June but I remember being with him and our little buddy and could not remember EVER being that happy ever in my life. And it just lasted for days and days. The entire time we kept looking at each other and saying, "BABY- WE GET TO DO THIS FOREVER?!" Fast forward to us wisely choosing to live with each other once he's here...but now that we've been a part for 3 months...and have only 3 more months to go, of course the doubts on occasion are settling in. But whats worse is imagining us trying to manage the move and our lives and not be living together. After being a part for so long I can't imagine not waking up with him everyday, we've been starved of any physical affection for A YEAR. I somehow don't think I'll mind being flooded with it all at once...of course it'll be an adjustment, but a good one.

However, as much as I am dying for him to be here- I am trying to appreciate the last of my single lady status too. Enjoying getting ready in the morning quietly and with no one groping me the entire time (which although fun and hilarious, while trying to get out the door for work? Maybe not always), being able to do whatever I want to after work and on weekends and don't have to consult with anyone about it or arrange for child care, spending extra money on myself and not household or baby needs, etc.

Learning so many lessons about appreciating where I am in life at the present moments.

God has me at this job, living with my parents, waiting for my love...all for a reason.

Time to dig in and engage in everything happening around me instead of waiting for this magical time when my love will be here, we'll have our own place, some job thats not stressful and I love all at the same time! These things will all happen eventually, but I need to work on being happy where I am now. 

Gosh it's just so tough sometimes.

xoxo

HL

Inspired!

I have been inspired!

After reading from a few friends about Dave Ramesy's amazing budget and how its changed their life, de cluttering your stuff so you are more efficient and happy, and adding a dose of watching The Biggest Loser I am inspired. (I promise they are all somewhat connected)

This weekend I have another lovely bridal shower to go to and then am dedicating it to spending some time de cluttering my room, car...and maybe even attempting the pile of boxes in the garage. I am also starting Dave Ramsey's budget plan to save and pay off my debt (boyfriend is on board too!) so we can have a life together soon that isn't stressed over money. My incentive is our wedding...wanting a house...being able to someday stay home with our kids because we won't have piles of debt to pay each month. And just less stress in general.

Finally, I have gotten a handle on my diet and cooking these last few days and am on board with weight watchers so I will be using part of my next paycheck to buy...wait for it...real running shoes.

Then.

I might try and start walk/jogging.

I wont say run because then I'll freak myself out.

So here is to being an adult!!!!

(most likely this will be followed by a post about how I epically failed and spent the weekend watching Dawsons Creek and drinking excessively...but lets have a little hope)

xoxo

HL