Thursday, September 27, 2012

How To Get Boys To Like You- Be Confident

Found on Pinterest. 

Being confident sounds simple, but it's probably harder than even the first ideal "Be Attractive".

Because you can throw on a hot dress and tons of make up but still feel horrible about yourself- and men will still be able to tell. Maybe even more so if you look like you just walked off the street. And they will use your lack of confidence against you. To hook you in. Sleep with you. Then peace out before the sun comes up. And if you are just having fun and don't want a boyfriend then thats ok too, but be very honest with yourself about this. Most women I find who say they don't want anything serious are lying to themselves and everyone else because they don't think they can find someone serious so they just give up and pretend like its fine. Don't be afraid to want something serious. It's not weird. Just be honest about what you want. Whatever kind of gentleman you would like, let's attract him because of how smart, funny, and awesome you are NOT because of how your boobs so slightly hang out of your dress every night and how easy you look.

Being Attractive is a huge step in the direction of having confidence, but then even the most beautiful of girls still sell themselves short. I can't tell you exactly what you need because every woman is different- but I can try and point you in the right direction. You have to take it from there. I promise, the men will follow.

  • Ask yourself, What do I deserve? Why do I think that?
    • To the first question literally the only valid answer is "Someone who treats me well. Makes me laugh. Has fun with me. Wants to care for me. Shares similar values." Seriously. That's it. So if your answer was different then this- its time to reassess. 
      • Are your expectations too low? Do you not feel like you deserve this or that a guy like this really exists out there for you? Typical men issues are weeded out by this simple description. For example: If he's a bum without a job and smoking weed all the time then that means he doesn't care for you, who cares if he's funny and cute. Case closed. Explore why your expectations for yourself are so low. Was it how someone treated you in the past? What someone told you? Do you think you are a lower level woman and therefore deserve a lower level guy? Every woman deserves this. Even if she's messed up before. She can fix herself and start fresh. I repeat, every. woman. deserves. this. 
      • Are your expectations too high? Is your list of "wants" filled with physical looks, intensive spiritual values, weird hang ups on meaningless trivial things? Then give it up. No wonder you haven't found a guy, he doesn't exist. Just follow the simple guideline and it'll become clearer who is and is not a good one. But more importantly, why are your expectations so high? Ask yourself and think about it. Is it because of how you were raised or because you are using these as excuses to not get to close to someone? Are you afraid of getting hurt so you put up these defenses? Figure out why and try and fix your perspective on who and what you want. There are amazing men out there who are not Prince Charming or Mr. Perfect. They have pasts, issues, baggage, and drama just like you do. But they are still amazing and it's worth it. Just like you're worth it. 
  • Practice Being Content
    • This connects to Being Attractive, but like I said you can be the most beautiful girl in the room and still lack confidence which makes you easy prey for men. They can tell by the way you carry yourself and/or the skanky outfit you wore tonight that you need attention because you have low self esteem. (PS I wear sexy outfits to go dancing in all the time just because I like the attention and feel pretty, but not because I am trying to get a man. Big difference. And the hottest I've ever looked has been when I was trying to impress Mr. Boyfriend)
    • If you are practicing the aspects of Being Attractive and feel good about yourself then Being Confident should come naturally, but sometimes it doesn't. There's always someone prettier, smarter, sexier, insert issue here- in the same room as you. But you have to learn to be content with who you are. Of course we always want to strive to be a better person, thats why we read and take care of ourselves...but you will never look like Scarlett Johanson or Beyonce and you have to find that place inside of you thats ok with that. That feels amazing just the way you are. It sounds cliche, but it's true. Stop comparing yourself to everyone else and just practice being content in where and who you are now. 
  • Fake It
    • Sounds odd I know, but somedays we just don't feel good about ourselves. Screw it, some MONTHS we don't feel good about ourselves. While you actively try and get yourself out of the rut, just fake your confidence level as being high. Of course we don't want to overdo it, but "fake it till you make it" always rings true with this one. After pretending for a little while you'll start to really feel it and be back in the game before you know it. 

I've been through all of this lady. Confidence is the hardest, but the most important. There are plenty of books on self esteem and worth out there you can look into too. But men are SO attracted to confident girls, even more then the hot but obviously desperate ones. You know how I got Mr. Boyfriend to stick around? I laughed at him trying to hit on me because it was so ridiculous and I had enough confidence to not fall for it. They'll call you beautiful just to weaken your knees- I promise!

How do you feel confident?




No comments: