Thursday, February 21, 2013

Roses Amongst Thorns.

I feel like God has been so sweet with us lately. I have noticed now in so many recent situations how frustrating or annoying they would have been, but how He provides these little glimmers amongst the clouds.

Like week 2 of my love working the night shift. We are both really struggling with it. He leaves before I come home from work and returns while I am sleeping at 2am. I go to work in the morning and he's sleeping- literally we don't get to see or talk to each other 5 days a week and its SO HARD. I literally teared up leaving for work today and find myself jealous of ALL the other guys whose wives don't work and stay up at night so they have the same schedules. (PS how is that real, why don't you bitches HAVE JOBS). Anyway, enough moaning- I know many other families and couples have it much worse. However, gosh does this make you thankful for the little things.

Like setting my alarm 15min earlier so I can just snuggle and kiss my sleeping boyfriend.

Sacrificing sleep for a 2am catch up and kiss.

Or today after a long busy day at work when I get a "Baby can you get my dry cleaning and bring it to me on base, I need it asap" text. To many people this would seem a hassle. And to top it off, when I arrived they said it wouldn't be ready for another hour. But oh no, what a joy. There was a fun street fair right outside of the dry cleaners I got to walk around and eat dinner at then I got to SEE and KISS and HUG my love and we were both AWAKE. It was 5 minutes of complete ecstasy.

I've noticed it in so many other places too.

Everyone on the train being rude? Look up and theres the beautiful sunset over the ocean rushing by.

Feeling a little lonely and ignored? Suddenly a lunch invite comes in from a co-worker wanting to catch up.

Out of money and paydays not for a few weeks? BOOM tax return hits.

Seriously, all of these have happened just in the last 2 weeks.

There is genuinely beauty everywhere if you just know where to look.

Be present.



Tuesday, February 12, 2013


Somedays you pack a healthy lunch for 2 days worth but accidentally eat it all in one lunch. Then feel like ralphing the rest of the afternoon.

This plus not getting enough sleep from your boyfriend having to work nights now...

Means you have 4 cookies for dinner and go to bed at 9pm.

Failure of a day.

Monday, February 11, 2013

Be: On the Move.

Something has come over me. I have become a healthy eating, exercising, move my ass everyday FIEND. I've always eaten healthier then most, especially with my bout of vegan/low grains for a year awhile back then weight watchers on and off, the dairy and red meat allergies, etc. My time in Slovakia and in the recent months of not being on a diet for the first time in 10 years was important for me at the same time. Sadly I've gained weight, which is to be expected for a year of not giving any fucks.

I've never really been into exercising though. Couldn't afford a gym membership, plus crazy schedules every few months made it difficult to get into a routine, have the energy to wake up early, find anything I actually liked enough to keep doing regularly. Now that I am an adult with a normal work schedule, money and time to meal plan, a gym right out the front door of our complex...I am riding this bandwagon and loving it. I will try not to post too much about my progress, (that's what my Facebook challenge group is for. Which I highly recommend as it keeps you accountable and motivated) but I just can't help but share some things. I hope they encourage and motivate you to. If my 200lb ass can get moving, you can too.

The Plan:

Breakfast: I've replaced my morning hemp protein shake with Beach Body's Shakeology. I have a lot respect for this company since I personally know people who have found great success with their exercise and eating programs. It's a little expensive, but I budget for it each month and figure I am replacing an entire meal for $4 which isn't too bad. Plus the first month has a money back guarantee and they have a dairy free option I am loving (really difficult to find quality good tasting non-dairy protein shakes).

Benefits Already In A Week: My tummy problems have completely cleared up. My energy is through the roof. Less cravings and I am full until almost lunch. I like that if I want to eat a big breakfast I just swap this for another meal. I want to weigh myself but need to buy a scale to see if I've already lost in the first week. 

Last Week I Ate This For Lunch: Summer Salad

This Week I Am Eating This For Lunch: Quinoa Casserole (vegetarian)

We still love our low carb emeal dinners too!


Downloadable PDF

Train for a 5K: I am on week 2 of this 5K training plan. We are signed up for our 5K on April 4th which motivates me to get up every morning so I can make it through the race successfully in the coming weeks. I love that the plan is varied so I am only on the treadmill 2-3x/week and am at yoga or doing weights the other days. Keeps things fresh and I am already looking into what my next "plan" will be after the 4 weeks! Do I keep going? Switch it up? Try a different cross training class besides yoga? It's becoming oddly "fun".

Benefits Already In A Week: SO MUCH ENERGY. The first day of the week is tough, but I am still already awake a ready to go at 5:00am. I don't yawn through my day at work or fall asleep on the train ride home. I get so much more done after work because I have energy to do so and somehow am going to bed a titch later then when I wasn't exercising and still feel rejuvenated in the morning. This week compared to last week my interval running was already a tiny bit easier and my muscles aren't as sore today! Even on my "off days" I needed to be moving somehow, sitting around the house just wasn't appealing. My love and I walked around our village and got a donut to share and healthy burritos for lunch. At least 30min of walking even on my off days? Unheard of!

As the days go by I am becoming more and more aware of the habits I have created. Drinking more water. Packing my healthy snacks. Putting out my workout clothes before bed. Stretching throughout the day for my tired muscles. Finding motivational posters, workouts, meals on Pinterest. It's like this secret club I never knew existed! It's nice to have the boyfriend on my team. We do our meal planning together, encourage each other when we work out, and hold each other accountable for food we eat when out and about (but without being mean about it). I keep looking in the mirror waiting for my body to look as different as I feel. But we still have a long road ahead. A long but doable road I will be proud to look back on. 

Good Luck Friends.



Friday, February 08, 2013


Was surprised with my first ever tax return yesterday! Almost $1000. While most of it will ironically go to medical bills because my health "insurance" is horrible, there is a few hundred dollars left for myself. Tempted to spend it on things for the house we need or other "responsible" practical things...I've resisted. I am treating myself. I've needed new clothes forever so a new top and saucy dress (for valentines day at least) were in order. Plus some sushi tonight while my love works, and a massage and museum day this weekend.

I feel spoiled by myself today and am thankful for the stress relief.

How are you spoiling yourself this February?



Thursday, February 07, 2013

Be: In Every Moment.

Another blow to my tender little heart yesterday when my love slowly and quietly springs on me 
"So...I am working all night Friday. And...Sunday night I start the night shift until further notice" 

So yeah, yesterday and today have been emotional. The only "consolation" is that he may go to school mid March for another program and the nights would be over...but then he'd be half way across the country for 3 months and we might have to move somewhere else once he's done. I know it'll be alright, I know this is what I signed up for in falling for a military man, and I know I should be thankful he isn't in Brazil anymore. But only getting to see your best friend and love in the entire world before you go to work in the morning each day is rough. We cherish in few hours we get together at night as it is. 

However, this is not a post about my whiny heart. On the contrary. 

We are learning to live in the moment like never before. You never know how long you have to be with someone. We've felt this in the boyfriends time with his little bear, my time with my mom while she was sick, and now with each other over the last year. Finding we have to balance allowing our heart to hurt, while at the same time enjoying the precious time we do have in that very moment. He likes to pretend he isn't sad when saying good bye to little bear. Everyone else will be crying and he'll be cheering everyone up trying to remind us it won't be that long until he he'll be with him again. Trying to cover up any emotion, be the cheerful strong one for everyone else, not feel things. Meanwhile whenever something sad is happening or coming up I start to fret about it. It casts a shadow on every moment and time. Dread and sadness fill me up so I can't enjoy the moments I am having. He is practicing feeling things, and I am practicing not letting my feelings impair me from enjoying life. We aren't perfect. We are learning to balance. 

This new change in our time together is just another brick in this path toward the balance we are seeking. Making every dinner out, every hand held, every kiss, cuddle...all of it count. 

And now I'm all emotional again.

If you are going through this with someone you dearly love too, I wish you peace and perspective in your journey toward balance. I wonder if any of us ever get there? 



Monday, February 04, 2013

Currently Eating...

I have been on our 2013 healthy eating plan for 3 successful weeks now and am excited to share what is working. I haven't weighed myself yet, so I cant update that part. But I can say I feel good about what I am putting in my body, my energy during the work day is up, and I am feeling better about myself because I know I am actively working toward my health goals. Hoping to lose 30lbs in 2013 and make my choices life habits.


  • Hemp/almond milk/banana/peanut butter protein shake
  • The Zone chocolate and peanut butter protein bar and a banana
  • Eggs and veggie sausage
  • Multivitamin with B12 (oh man the energy!)
All worth getting up the 15 minutes earlier for! I am about to try a new protein shake that's also supposed to help with digestive issues, hunger control, and give you vitamins. We'll see how that goes.

The variety of soups have kept lunch fresh for 2 weeks, switching this week to some salads with quinoa and other vegetables just to change it up. Leftovers from dinner are also nice treats.

  • In season fruit! Currently loving peaches and pears, I just buy 5 and take them to work on Mondays so I have one for each day.
  • Nut packets from Trader Joe's, or a handful of almonds
  • Tuna. If I didn't have it with lunch, usually I am ready for it by about 3:00pm and my body loves the dose of protein to ward off the afternoon slump. 

  • emeals low carb dinners!
    • Seriously, this has been my best investment yet. There was a groupon to pay for this meal planning service and I am so thankful. Every Wednesday I get my week of dinner recipes that all take 30min or less to make, and a grocery list. We both work and don't get home until late but still wanted to save money and be healthy. This has RESCUED us.
    • They have a variety of meal plans to choose from if you aren't doing low carb. Mine ends up being kind of paleo since I don't do dairy automatically either, we are enjoying it thus far.
    • Some nights I opt out of the emeal because I want to cook something I enjoy to make and eat that's still healthy. Especially on the weekends.

  • A cookie a day keeps the doctor away...
    • We had these leftover cookies from a dinner party a few weeks ago. These big delicious oatmeal raisin ones I just salivated over. I decided one night to just let myself have one. Then the next day after eating healthy all day, I had another. Then I noticed they were each under 200 calories. Now it's just become my thing! There are literally oodles of snacks and treats in the office right now and I have bypassed them all because I am so excited about my after-work cookie tonight. I only have ONE (or whatever the serving size is if they are small) and always after eating healthy ALL day. I count it in my calories for the day too. Amazing what a little sweet incentive will do.
    • Tonight I don't get a cookie because mom's making us home made mashed potatoes. Sometimes I switch up my treats but try and keep them in moderation. 
  • Weekends are for eating...
    • Ok thats not true, but I do find myself having a hard time sticking perfectly to my almost zero carb plan during the weekends. So the weekends are for relaxing. I have my drinks, pizza, toast with breakfast, french fries at the bar, and only on the weekends. However, I find myself watching my portions, sharing the french fries, moderately drinking, making healthy pizza with goat cheese and whole wheat crust at home instead of ordering in, etc. So even though I am adding the carbs on the weekends, they are still healthy choices overall.
I haven't been perfect. Some nights we got fish tacos. One night we didn't get home until 8:00pm so Taco Bell was the only option we had energy for. But I am still watching my portions and choices in every situation I can. 

  • Signing up for a coupon worth of exercise classes or a 5K dramatically increases your will to move your ass. We signed up for a run with all our friends in April and have started training for it today! I am following a plan I found on, but you can always use Couch to 5K to get moving. I also bought a pack of yoga classes I'll be incorporating into my training schedule too.
  • Walking during lunch breaks is a nice addition to a work schedule if you are too rushed during the morning and evening. I am lucky and get to walk to the train for work a few days a week, plus will take strolls during the work day so I don't want to kill myself. Every bit helps.
What's working for you? 




I think we've moved past our first few weeks of "growing pains" between us. I am learning not to take things so seriously and he is learning to be more sensitive with me. We haven't had even a minor disagreement in quite awhile and are settling into our routines and time with each other. It's been so so sweet. I've noticed this  shift come over both of us. It's crept up unknowingly and I didn't realize it until this weekend when someone asked how our place is coming along. To be honest, it's about the same. Couch. Small TV. Coffee table. Dining set we rarely use because we like to snuggle and eat together. My old bedroom furniture. Mostly this is due to finances and knowing we'll have more money coming up so we wanted to wait until we could afford the nicer things. I've had my eye on some great pieces at our local consignment shops that I am excited to add to our place when we are ready...but at the same time...we are just really content. We would rather spend $80 on a fun sushi dinner out together, making up for missed dates and adventures, then buy a side table we don't really miss as it is. The lamp is on the floor and it's fine.

Saturday night (after spending $80 on sushi...ahem) we decided to spend the night in to save money. I made us home made pizza dancing around in the kitchen all silly, we got drunk at home on spiked sweet tea, and snuggled up watching movies until we fell asleep. Staying home on a Saturday night cooking and watching movies used to be a once in awhile thing for me. I wasn't happy being home when I knew there was fun things happening a few steps out the door without me. I imagined a time when I had more money and friends and could do more things on the weekends. Suddenly, here we are. Perfectly happy (if not outright ecstatic as seen in my dancing around the kitchen so junky pop music) relaxing at home and enjoying the infinite time with my love. Glad to be out of "the game" of trying to find a man, get a free drink, get some attention, etc. Instead of dressing up in my sexy dresses with heels and makeup, I am home being loved in a little house dress. No make up. Hair up. Flour all over. Happy as a clam.

Still not entirely fulfilled with my job right now. Still frustrated with the long commute and lack of time with my love during the week. Our apartment is a DISASTER and it's driving me crazy. But I am still content. And am choosing to enjoy where I am with my career right now. We don't need no stinking side tables, cable TV, or fancy bedspreads! We are happy just the way things are.