Tuesday, December 23, 2008

freeeezing but ready for Christmas!

the presents are all wrapped and ready to go (my last one came in the mail today, i ordered it two weeks ago but i was rather nervous when it didnt arrive right away!)

tomorrow me and mom will grocery shop real early in the morning, ill make the gingerbread house, probably nap (due to the early morning), take the dogs for a walk, and then get ready for the Christmas Eve service and party with my beloved Olivia and all our traditional Christmas Eve friends! so fun! I'm really excited to give my presents to everyone and for the day of Christmas, it's always so fun to all be together and to have time off just to be and enjoy eachother. Uncle Dan, Josi, and Lukey are coming in the late afternoon for our dinner, Cammie will come in the early afternoon, and even Nicodemus will be with us for all the fun! i think it will be a nice relaxing few days, I'll just be sad when its over!

poor kekseys getting her wisdom teeth out tomorrow. What a bummer way to spend Christmas!

today i made stiry fry and tofu and it was SO good i ate it for lunch and dinner! i quite impressed myself and am beginning to think i can cook better than i thought!

ok bye for now, Merry Christmas! Jesus is the best!

Friday, December 19, 2008

two posts in one day?! what?! well, i had some time. and kelsey hates it when i go so long without posting, so im making up for it now. annnd in honor of it being about one year since i did this exact same survey, here it is. i cant believe ive kept this blog for 2 years! im kinda awesome!

1.The status of you and the last person you texted?
my momma, telling her i think im getting sick. this is true. stuffy nose for 2 days, thought it was allergies...but now my throats all sore so i think its actually that cold thats been going around...time for the vitamin C and echinecia!

2. What's bothering you right now?
that im getting sick but tomorrows girls day! i cant be sick on girls day! arg!

3. What's the closest green thing to you?
oh you know, the super cool ornament-thing i made, it has green yarn in it.

4. What is in your wallet?
reciepts. cards. disneyland pass! etc...

5. Wallpaper on your computer's desktop?
this computer is Miss Audrey Hepburn as featured in Breakfast at Tiffanys. work computer is the beautiful and lovely Edward Cullen.

6. Background on your cell phone?
my Bella with her tongue sticking out sleeping...shes the cutest stinkin dog ever!

16. Listening to?
"The Walrus" classic rock station here at work...oh hooray right now its on commercial, radio commercials are my favorite:(

17. Have you ever kissed anyone named Chase?
still havent actually met anyone named chase.

18. What do you smell like?
probably Marc Jacobs. Daisy cause im cool like that

19. Eating?
drinking green tea and about to eat a banana

20. What's your favorite thing to have on your bed?
its still a bella and lola. also my heating blanket. also my body pillow for cuddling.

21. If you could change something in your life, what would it be?
still wish i was done with school. wish i wasnt living at home. wish my dogs wouldnt bark and pee in the house so much.

22. What do you wear to bed?
summer just old band shirts and panties, winter i bundle cause its so stinkin cold sweat pants, t shirt, sweatshirt, hat, socks. and i have 3 blankets and a heating blanket...but usually the socks and sweatshirt get too hot by 2am when my room gets warmer so i strip em off. its quite the process not heating your house.

23. Do you remember your dreams?
still not very often, but when i do they're usually really fricken weird...like the other night i had a RANDOM dream about making out with some guy i havent thought about in years, some guy i kinda dislike even...it was really weird and i woke up being all grossed out.

24. Who will you sleep with tomorrow?
no more bella and lola, they have to sleep in their own bed now. now i sleep with a body pillow and the echos of lonliness all around me (sigh;)

25. Have you ever been gambling?
just went last weekend! but im smart and let lovely boys pay for me to gamble in exchange for my body. PS im totally kidding.

26. What's something you wish you could understand better?
French. how to play craps, seriously i dont understand that game.

27. What did you do last night?
baked some low cal fudge, drank some spiked soy nog with annie and jordan, watched step brothers with annie, hung around with annie jordan and jessie and Sparky! the newest addition to the family!

28. Who do you miss?

29. Who is the last person you hugged?
annie, saying bye last night

30. Do you keep up with MLB standings?
at least now i know what that means, NO. sports are a waste of money and time.

31. Who was the last person you went somewhere with?
i went with mom, brother, annie, jordan, bella, lola, and Sparky to the Forum where Bella pooped in the Bed, Bath, & Beyond. then we got ice cream. it was a good night.

33. Have you kissed anyone on your top friends?
why yes, yes i have

36. What was the last thing you drank?
green tea

37. Where were you at noon yesterday?
at home getting ready to go face the crowds shopping..although i wasnt aware of the crowds when i commited to going out, it was painful.

38. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
annies mom actually. i miss her.

39. Do you like someone right now?
YES! will the real edward cullen please figure your crap out and ask me out, PLEASE.

40. Are you bored?
nope, just waiting until work is over so i can move on to the next activity.

41. What is the last movie you watched?
Step Brothers. dirty, but like 1/2 of it is funny and me and annie could hardly contain our laughter.

42. Name three drinks you regularly drink.
water, tea, diet coke?

43. What are you excited about?
Christmas! Olivia coming! Paris! Cancun!

44. Do you want someone you can't have?
story of my life

45. Who was last to slap your butt?
actually, a Finnish boy in Vegas. but its ok because annie made him and i did look extremely attractive that evening.

46. Where was the last place you went?
well, i walked to the deli down the street today to get the best sandwich of my life! Holiday Harvest: warm turkey, cranberry, stuffing, melted cheese (im feeling that), on squaw bread: seriously SO GOOD!

47. What's on your mind right now?
going to CVS to get anti-sick meds. i hate getting sick.

48. Have you cried recently?
i think last week i cried like 5 times about an assortment of things, it was a crazy week

49. Do you want to be in a relationship right now?
i really do.

50. And why?
because boys are so fun and i learn a lot about myself from them and im very loving and like to make other people feel loved and happy. and because im so fun i think i deserve someone! arg!

what i accomplished at work today, and also my green item from the survey. amazing.

Its the Little Things

Heres some random things that have been on my mind lately, enjoy:

a) last week i made friends with a bee and i havent stopped thinking about him since. he landed on the front window of my car right in my eye line! we became friends immediately because id never seen a bee that close before. After we discussed how cool he was, I politely told him that i needed to drive now and that it would probably be wise for him to fly away. But he didnt! he stayed with me while i drove to the store, and then stayed while i shopped, and then drove all the way home with me! by now we were getting along fabulously, but i noticed he was flapping his wings as much, and his little feelers werent moving much either. I began to get concerned. When i parked and went home for the night, I said goodnight and told him I hoped he made it through the night. He was gone by morning.
for some reason it made me really sad. i made friends with my little bee and then he either died or flew home, im pretending it was the later. anyway, it was a fun evening making new friends.

b) i flossed my teeth last night for the first time since my dentist appointment...about 6 months ago. they always beg me to floss because apparently i have beautiful teeth but bad gums (hereditary) so i have to floss and then ill have perfect teeth! but i dont, because it always hurts a lot and smells and its absolutely disgusting and i cant handle it. so i finally broke down and bought those little floss swords (dentist said that was better than nothing) and stuck them in my side table drawer with a post it on my lamp to remind me. so they've been in there for 2 weeks and last night was my first time trying them. Good Lord is HURT. and it smelled and was disgusting of course, but i stuck through and did all my teeth. i wont bore you with the details, but lets just say blood was involved and my mouth hurting almost kept me from falling asleep. this morning it STILL hurts and specifically two of my gums are all swollen and sore. now i have two choices, i could either say, "hey! this is why you need to floss more! it wont hurt if you do it all the time!" OR "this is why you dont floss!!! it hurts like a bitch!!!" as of right now, im taking the second route. but hopefully when the swelling and soreness subsides, ill try again. my mouth still hurts, this sucks.

c) everytime i get the guts to ask the beautiful boy who sometimes work here out for lunch, hes not here! last week i even walked back to his office, but he was gone in the bathroom or something. today i came ready to do it, but he hasnt showed up yet and now that its 10a i dont think that he will. it took me AGES to work up the courage to do it, and now here we are. arg.

d) tomorrow is my girls Christmas Exchange! Im SO excited! Me and cassie and annie and jordan will be having lunch together and then all traveling up to Kelseys for an evening of fun! we'll be going out for a semi nice dinner (yay!), driving around looking at lights and probably drinking a special christmas beverage and playing our Christmas Carol singing game, and then back to Kelseys to sit by the fire and have yummy kelsey dessert and exchange our secret santa ornaments. SO FUN! seriously, you wish you had fun girl friends like us.
"Seriously, sometimes I wish I was someone else, just so I could be friends with us.

e) I've been REALLY enjoying Christmas this year! last year kinda sucked because we were supposed to go to New York as our big Christmas present and one week before the trip the rents informed us we werent going, which totally sucked! This year i have all this time because im still only working 1 day a week, ive been spending time wrapping my gifts in fun ways, making ornaments, spending time with family and friends in town, making gingerbread houses and drinking soy nog, singing christmas carols, and even baking! last night i made some low cal fudge (i think its so yummy!) and next week im going to try and make some low cal chocolate chip cookies. its so funny to me how fussy people are with their foods and beverages. i think ive gotten so used to lactose free, meat free, and low calorie foods that whatever i eat in that catagory, i usually like. i have to choose, either NO egg nog or get used to soy egg nog, and after for many years i just prefer it now. same with fake cheese, low calorie desserts, etc. i guess its a good thing...but then when i do pay for actual food, if its not good i get really pissed. what are you serving me, cat?

f) i love crafts! i made a little ornament and today im going to work on a big one. the gingerbread house and my gift wrapping is just the funnest ever! i have some other projects in the words as well, headbands, stamps, stencils, and sewing. oh i also need to make my scrapbook for Europe before i go to Paris and have a whole nother pile of tickets and pictures to scrapbook! SO EXCITED!!!

this is my life:
  • Vegas in December
  • Paris in January
  • Cancun in February
  • New York in March/April
  • Oregon in May (hopefully!)
i love my life!
ready for Christmas!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008


soooo me and annie spent Saturday doing fun Christmas things. We went to lunch at sushi and then the grocery store to buy supplies to make home made gingerbread houses! we had a wonderful time listening to Christmas music, making the houses, and drinking egg nog with rum for the afternoon. then we went to my house to make crafts! we made ornaments, so fun! by then it was about 6pm and my dad asked me, "what are you girls going to do tonight" he furthered by reminding us it was a Saturday night and we were young and single...so Annie half jokingly said "we should go to Vegas!" apparently it only takes 4.5 hours to get there (longer if Annie drives) and to stay at the Excalibur which is pretty nice its only $60/night. so we booked our room right then, packed our bags, and peaced OUT!

we arrived around midnight and i got showered and all fancy shmancy and ready for a night out! by about 1am we were at "Dicks Last Resort" watching an amazing band and watching everyone already drunk and being really funny. within 30 minutes of being out we got hit on by some Canadian boys and a Finnish lad. the bar closed so we went to another bar in the casino...and then over to the Luxor...and then the Monte Carlo...and then New York New York...all with our new boyfriends in tow. needless to say, it was a lovely night.

ive never been treated so nicely by a boy, it was weird to say the least. he was just really sweet with me and kind and genuine. and i acted like a real lady and we just had a nice time together! and i looked so pretty and everyone kept looking at me and it was such a confidence boosting weekend! out of all of trailer park Vegas, we managed to find the nicest guys EVER and had such a wonderful time!

other: i played craps for the first time (won $20! but then lost it;), tried vodka redbull for the first time (love it, but i couldnt sleep for like 12 hours afterwards soooo), got snuggled by the best cuddler EVER, got to kiss a boy, felt pretty, didnt go to bed until 6am, had a BLAST!

so we all slept for 2 hours (really i didnt sleep, but i watched everyone else sleep, damn vodka redbull!) and then tried to find breakfast somewhere to make ourselves feel a little less haggard, and then it was time to go. we had such a nice time together but we didnt exchange information or anything like that, im pretty ok with it, but it would have been nice to be friends on facebook or something, owell. it was 12 hours together, we arent going to get married or anything anyway, but still, we had fun together and its weird to just say goodbye forever. owell, if ive learned anything from my travels, its how to say goodbye forever and learn to be ok with it.

so thats Vegas. so much fun. a lovely canadaian boyfriend for 12 hours. pretty. annie and i are crazy...but you SO wish you were there too.

me and annies gingerbread village. which fell apart an hour later. but it was still fun!

my favorite picture ever

PS: as always, more pictures of Christmas fun and Vegas on facebook.


Friday, December 12, 2008

craziest week EVER!

i cant believe i havent written in so long! sorry kelsey! things have been CRAZY all week!!! if you get bored, be sure to skip to Thursday, a CRAZY day.

-Sunday i worked alllllllll day on my take home PE final and it totally sucked, but my final was good so yay!

-Monday i went to school and turned in my final at the crack of dawn, i parked in the faculty parking lot just to piss you off granny. then i did NOTHING the rest of the day because i was real tired from working hard all weekend. it was wonderful actually, i napped and played with my doggies, and did things on my computer, and watched the BEST movie called Iron Jawed Angels. i rented it because it was by HBO (they make great movies) and had an amazing cast and was about the woman suffrage which i didnt know a ton about, and it was nominated for a lot of awards and won some too, and seriously it was SO good. i couldnt believe all of that happened for real, and those women were literally giving their lives so I could vote! it was incredible. Hillary Swank, Angelica Houston, and Patrick Dempsey. go to Netflix right now. do it. do it now. it made me cry it was so good!

-Tuesday i did more final work on my final lesson plans and prep for my math final. Annie went home sick so i did this all at the office and then came home and worked till real late again, so sleep deprived:(

-Wednesday got up kinda early to hit the math lab before the math final with my girls, we studied lots and i managed a B+ on that sucker! which means my final math grade is a whopping AAAAAAAAAAAA. my first A in math EVER!!!!!!! even though i worked real hard EVERY year!!! i promise you can do it friends, i did! and im the WORST! then i went to work for sick annie again. watched another movie with mom called The Savages with Laura Linney and Philip Seymoor Hoffman, it was really good but sad. i liked it. while watching i bought ALL my christmas presents. i pretty much rule. why does anyone go christmas shopping any other way?!

****Thursday met with Alyssa and we bought tickets and booked our hostel...for...um...PARIS, FRANCE. yeah, since i missed it over the summer due to the flu (see my Europe blog), and since the tickets were REALLY cheap, and since Alyssas never been, and since we both had enough $ to go...we did!!!! so peace out from January 6-15th. I'll be living it up in Paris, freezing my ass off, but having the time of my life with my dear friend in beautiful Paris!!! your so jealous and you should be, anyone who gets tickets from San Diego to Paris for $790 is someones to be envied! (also, im awesome.)

the rest of the day was spent running around town buying craft supplies because im finally on break and have time to do all this fun stuff! yay!

BUT THEN i came home and found out my brother almost died in a car accident that night!!! he was driving south on the 5 off Genesse when his fast lane stopped suddenly, so he swerved left to miss the car in front of him and clipped it a bit, because he was going 60mph it flipped his car and he rode down along the wall of the freeway with the car on its side scrapping the top of the car along the wall, breaking all the windows and dash, the entire car was totaled. a complete wreck. he had to finish breaking the window so he could climb out. yeah, he climbed out. he has nothing but a sore body and back. the other car was just nipped a bit in the back. 2 fire trucks, 2 ambulances, and policeman later, dad picks up brother at a nearby gas station and hes fine!!! seriously a miracle.

Today: just at work working on Paris stuff, Christmas stuff, and suprisingly work is kinda busy which is strange for a Friday. its SO nice to not have homework or studying to do, the best feeling ever!!

Monday, November 24, 2008

thanksgiving better be worth it

taking a break from homework (more on that later) to eat some el pollo loco and to do a little posty post.

thanksgiving had better be awesome because im already exhausted and its still days away.

1) cammie is crazy and now hes driving me crazy! hes working 24/7 and only got a 1/2 day off on Thanksgiving and is working the day before and after as well. hes such a silly and figured hed just take the train back and forth to my house the day of...even though i told him weeks ago the train doesnt run on thanksgiving!!! now im stressing out because driving back and forth to downtown on a holiday and on a day my mom needs a lot of help hosting 10 people here...isnt very appealing! we'll figure it out, he'll get here one way or another!

2) hosting all these people is really crazy too. Irma is here cleaning now (i love her.) but she can only help so much the piles of junk my rents have stored all over the house. getting all their piles put away is a whole nother project. plus our carpet is ruined from a certain canine and needs to be cleaned again, which is yet another project.

3) meanwhile i have enough homework to last a lifetime and im trying to get as much done as i can so i can actually enjoy my days off...yeah right. not only do i have normal homework due wednesday and next monday, but i have all these final lesson plans and papers that are due next week too. its crazy!!! today im doing everything due wednesday and tomorrow ill bust out the finals work. i was supposed to go to school today, but we werent doing ANYTHING worth getting out of bed so early for and worth missing out on homework time for. so here i am in my smelly PJ's about 1/2 done with todays work.

4) i need to get my oil changed! guess it'll have to wait until tomorrow...

5) i need to dye my hair! that will be tonight! bye bye roots...

do you see this list of craziness?! thanks giving had better be amazing because im not busting my ass with all this cleaning, cooking, driving downtown, homework 24/7, errands, blehhhh for nothing!!!!

but i AM excited that cassie will be here! and kelsey too for that matter! and i am excited to see my family and play with all the kids (we have so much fun! its like i attract them...) and eat all the yummy food and cook good pumpkin pie and play my new Wii game-american idol (thanks kels!). so im sure it will be lovely.

and hopefully, very restful.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

some great recent moments in my life

great recent moments in my life:
-teachers lounge at a local elementary school (where i student teach), everyday the Hispanic women who do the crossing guard and recess duty come in for an hour break in between recess'. they are all pretty large, older women, and when they arent rattling off about the weather in Spanish they are talking about their crossing duty woes. yesterday they were discussing how some people cross the street at the wrong spot and ways to handle the situation. they discussed this at lenght. or they will just be quiet and stare into space or stare at me making copies. often they fuss with the air conditioner even though i feel perfectly fine, they are all sweaty and gross from being outside. even now im giggling...

-when my supervising teacher tells all the third graders how great i am for preparing a bunch of curriculum for her and has them all say thank you to me. then she says, "we should call you Super Woman, orrr Wonder Woman!" and then the kids started coming up with their own, which included:
"or how about, Super Nice Woman!"
"or Super Teacher!"
"and Super Awesome!"
they love me. does it get any better than that?

-when i get 105% on my math test that was really hard, that i studied around 3 hours for, and that has been my hardest most stressful most tearful subject since the 4th grade.

-when i get really sad and frustrated with myself for being so self-centered, so cynical, and so selfish. but Jesus forgives me and does all the work for me when i ask him and let him change me to be the real person i was created to be. what would i do without you.

-when its been a LONG day and all i have to come home to is my doggies, some wine, and some folk...or piano music. no kids to scramble to make dinner for, no house to clean, no homework, nada. (this could actually be very depressing now that i think about it...but tonight im very thankful)

-when i turn in my 17 page paper (and thats without the appendix of evidence) Reading Case Study that i worked around 6 hours on SATURDAY on. the 6 hours is excluding the collection of evidence, which was about a 2 hour process also.

-when my beloved girls at school make me feel like im NOT crazy for being so cranky about things, but worry about me for being cranky all the same. i am loved.

write your great moments down somewhere. life isnt all that bad. its good to think about that sometimes. at least for me.


Monday, November 17, 2008

im ridiculous

well i sat by PE boy today (hooray!) and he told me what i missed because i was late again but thats all. so we'll see what happens wednesday. im kinda a creeper.

today my knee and ankle hurt a lot from the shower incident. i limped a little but managed some of the stairs on campus and it is feeling better. i got the brilliant idea to take some pain meds today to help...um hello, should have done that ages ago. but luckily while i was coming down to dinner my other foot missed the bottom stair and i fell again and almost sprained my other ankle. so things are looking up for the clumsiest girl alive.

brothers birthday was fun, me and my family downed 4 bottles of wine between the 6 of us. we pretty much rule. i was joking that "brother turned 21 so we ALL celebrated!" haha its so true. and lukey is so fun! he likes to eat pickles and its the cutest thing!

looking forward to this weekend is the only thing getting me through this long week! next week will be short, just one day of school and thats it! and full of fun friends and family and little to no homework and no small school and just a nice resting time and time for some finals prep. so this week seems so longgggg. and this weekend is my fun girls Twilight weekend and im so excited!!! plus i get to play with kels and annie and see kels new place and its going to be a nice little vaca.

i need a new book to read. im in the middle of Wuthering Heights and i absolutely LOVE it but its hard to read when you just wanna turn your brain off for awhile...you have to think while you read because the older english and amount of characters is confusing.

i need to apply for work...im thinking tutoring. but im so looking forward to break that i just dont want to think about work at all until finals and all this crap is over! maybe ill just forget about it until after christmas and then start looking for a jobby job to supplement my meager income.

thats all.
mom and the birthday boy!

Sunday, November 16, 2008

some things

today is brothers birthday! hooray! happy birthday brother!

today i went to the Apple store to get my computer actually fixed this time...but of course the cute manager there caught my eye...he was complete with trendy designer glasses, converse, half sleeve tat, and i think i even saw a wrist tattoo in there too...anyway, he was my type through and through. so we were kinda flirting, kinda not though because i was cranky about my computer and someone else was helping me...but then when i was just about to think of something witty and clever to say to him i did the wedding ring check and sure enough, married. so i decided that married people should start wearing t-shirts that say 'married' on them...but then i realized thats what the ring is for. owell.

also today,
my bathtub/shower doesnt have a bath mat for whatever reason so i always have to be really careful getting in and out and while im in the showever...well today when i was getting in i totally ate it and severely injured myself. my ankle is all torn up and sore and my knee is so sore im limping. i feel like a grandma. but seriously, it hurts real bad. im really clumsy people, it totally sucks.

this is my week of TWILIGHT!!! so excited! hopefully after this week i wont be such a freak anymore about it and can be a normal person again.

i got two huge papers done this weekend! yay! i did them alll weekend so the rest of the week i can play! tomorrow im going to try and go to my friends show in san marcos and maybe see the lovely and talented people whom i miss and love there, tuesday me and melissa have a date i cant disclose without telling kelsey first, thursday i have a doctors appointment im kinda nervous about, and friday is girls fun weekend 2008!!! yay!!!

tomorrow im going to try and dress cute for PE boy in my class, ill keep you updated:)

Wednesday, November 12, 2008


cute boy from PE specifically made a point to talk to me today! ive had a crush on him since the first day of class but i was pretty sure my lack of coordination skills during activities would scare him off. i think my humor, good looks, and charms may have wooed him back again...hehe. its the little things that get us through the longest and most boring of days, such as today.

and then me and my best girls from my cohort went out for a drink after our horribly long day and it was SO wonderful. im so freaking thankful for them its ridiculous!

i love my iphone. i dont know how i ever lived without it.

Monday, November 10, 2008

mrs. grumpy gills

aww man today was the worst! well it wasnt that bad, ive had worse, but today just kept building up and im so so so done now. i had to vent a little. (PS sorry its been so long but i havent had anything worth writing about...kinda...)

1) today i had 2 hefty presentations and they went well so thats not a big deal but i spent ALL weekend preparing for them so im kinda burnt out. when i went to print something from my powerpoint before i presented it in my next class, all the pictures i took of specific documents and dragged into my presentation so the class could see them were all BLANK. i spent at least an hour taking the pictures, adjusting them in iphoto, resizing them in powerpoint...ARG. i was NOT happy. but luckily i fixed it before the actual presentation so at least it didnt look like total crap.

2) i worked so hard all weekend on homework and presentations that i have at LEAST 3 sore paper cuts all over my fingers. i just got a new one about 10 minutes ago and its all sore and bleedy (sorry kels, but its true)

3) the lovliest part of my day was when best buy called to tell me for the 3rd time ive brought my mac in for repairs that "nothings wrong you crazy!". i tried to call them back 3 times but it just kept ringing so i had to go there after school. they informed me that my computers hardware is perfectly fine and the issues im having, and have had since like 6 months after i got the computer, must be internal software issues and thats not covered by my $400 care program. yeah. awesome. so how much would it be to fix the computer? oh you know...$35 for shipping back and forth...and then around $100 per thing that ends up being wrong with it. so im not very happy about that. so i say screw you guys, if im paying anyone im paying actual apple people instead of you assholes. so i go all the way to the apple store and try to make an appointment but of course they are booked for at least 72 hours in advance. awesome.

so my papercuts, broken powerpoint, broken computer, and asshole best buy people have ruined my day.

i hate computers.
i hate best buy.
and i even hate apple.

however, upon leaving best buy almost crying i happened upon a "free" copy of the latest entertainment weekly with my Twilight loves on the cover and a 6 page spread inside! so that at least made me a little happier for about 30 minutes! hooray!

now excuse me while i go put some neosporin on my cuts and bandaid all my fingers.

Friday, October 24, 2008

always tired on a Friday

sorry i havent been updating my lil bloggy blog dear friends. i havent had much to report, just busy with school heating up, my small school student teaching, and still working at the office on fridays. i have some fun plans this and next weekend, so thats fun...but otherwise, nothing exciting or new really.
tomorrow we all get dressed up "foxy" and go rollar skating for Jordans 22nd birthday! hooray! sunday me and mom and other mother daughters from her book club are going to see the secret life of bees and then i think im going to pumpkin carve at Alyssas house. (YAY!)

next weekend is halloween events! friday we're having a little work party here for lunch (free food! yay!) and then me and annie will be dressing up (of course i cant tell u! thatd ruin the suprise!) and going to the Surf n Saddle for a lil drink and to mingle with the local drunks in costume...then im going to hit up my old vpdq friends and crash the party i wasnt really invited too but saw the post that said "everyones invited" so i assume that includes me...plus, they dont care and i know they would love to see me so ha. saturday night is Allis HUGE party which im still undecided about, its a little overwhelming to attend a party with a billion people i know like 5 people there. so well see.

ok, im trying to get the energy to do my homework so im going to do this survey. plus, its my blog so i cant do what i want!

Do you bump into someo​nes arm if you want to hold their​ hand?​​​
i think thatd be very improper for a lady to do. however, i wouldnt be opposed if a date tried it, hehe

Last argum​ent?​​​
last real argument with yelling and tears was with cassie in Switzerland. i was sick and not in the mood to deal with issues she was trying to help me work on. it was actually really funny because 2 people staying in the hostel were down the stairs listening to the entire thing, so funny!

You hugge​d?​​
kelsey. shes one of the best huggers! except i wasnt wearing a bra and she wasnt very happy about that.

You cried​ with?​​​

Reaso​n for the last tear shed?​​​
i miss community and small groups and accountability and even large group services. im VERY frustrated and keep getting doors shut in my face when i try. grr!

Someo​ne who means​ a great​ deal to you?
so many people can fill this spot. we'll say Cammie for now. he was lost but now hes found and it makes me so very happy!

Anyth​ing you want to confe​ss?​​​
my nose piercing is infected and its really gross on the inside

Highl​ight of your day?
when the beautiful mysterious boy came into work finally! i didnt get all dressed up for nothing! and when micah told me about Jesus' excitability scale that goes from 1-cameron. hehe

Feel a sense​ of guilt​ latel​y?​​
not really...maybe for not working on my millions of homework and projects that are due at the end of the year. the end of november and first week in December are going to be rough unless i get it together! eek!

Want somet​hing badly​?​​​
community. and maybe a boyfriend or something of that nature...like multiple dates with a sweet guy would be ok with me too. im not obsessed or anything, but its hard not to think about it when ur 23, been single for far too long, and everyone else seems to be getting married or MIA because of significant others.

Is it cute when a boy/​​​girl calls​ you babe?​​​
im not sure ive ever had this happen. i think id be ok with it, but i can think of way sweeter and more enduring words he could use that would better describe me. babe seems kinda outdated anyway, this isnt 1985 no matter how hard you dress like it.

Who was the last perso​n of the same sex you share​d the same bed with?​​​
probably cassie in Europe. it was our favorite! i miss her a lot.

Which​ of your frien​ds do you argue​ with the most?​​
we dont really argue like for real...we have discussions were we disagree on things...but its not like an all out brawl where we cry and get mad or anything...so i dunno. actually, me and cassie went thru a phase in Europe where we "argued" a lot about random crap. dont worry tho, after like a week we went back to loving eachother like a sister so its ok:)

What is somet​hing you like to do when you'​​​re down?​​​
sleep, its my favorite and also my worst habit. i also like to eat cookies, also a bad habit. or have a drink, also a bad habit. over the last few years as ive realized this about myself, ive tried to quit doing those things and instead go play with friends and laugh or talk to my momma or play with my doggies or journal and draw: all those things always make me happy, i just forget sometimes.

Is it easie​r to forgi​ve or forge​t?​​​
both are so so hard. if u get to the point where u an forgive its amazing...but ur memory keeps on rearing its ugly head everytime ur feeling a little weak. life is rough people.

What is one thing​ you must have in a relat​ionsh​ip?​​
communication. it seriously makes the world go round.

Do you belie​ve in secon​d chanc​es?​​​
what is this referring too? my answer depends on that obviously. for the most part ill give someone a 2nd chance under specific guidelines and with a new protection over whatever got hurt in the first place.

If there​ was somet​hing you can do over,​​​ what would​ it be?
my first trip to India. i feel like i was so stressed out with life before going and vaunerable to the deep sadness that penetrated my heart upon seeing the ugliness there. it was so awful that i couldnt see any of the amzing beauty or make as much of an impact i feel like i could have made. i was just a lil 18 year old, so its ok.

Did the last perso​n you kiss deser​ve it?
nope. im hoping to have a much better "last kiss" asap

Do you think​ you can possi​bly be with the perso​n you love forev​er?​​
unfortunatly im not in love, but if i was then i would probably say yes...unless something was seriously wrong and i was in denial, which could potentially happen.

How do you feel about​ yours​elf as a perso​n?​​
i think im fat and over analytical. BUT i think otherwise im not to bad looking and i try and use my over analytical side to change the world instead of ruining my own.

What do you have plann​ed for your life?​​
ive only planned until ive gotten my degree and credential in spring 09. then ill either get a sweet job at a nice local public school or private school. or ill substitute teach and finish my art degree. or ill work at a museum working in the childrens program. or ill work in an after school art program in low economic areas...something like that:) then eventually ill get married and get my babies from India and LOVE my life!

Can you hones​tly say that looks​ don'​​​t matte​r?​​​
of course they matter! but in the end, if the person on the inside is ugly, it always comes out one way or another...and sooner then u think.

Would​ you rathe​r hear the painf​ul truth​ or a happy​ lie?​​​:​​​
depends on the situation again. usually, i do better with the truth, but i may need time away to deal with it...then we can be friends again;)

What reall​y irrit​ates you?
people who talk...A LOT. and never ask you about yourself, because they dont care, they just want to tell u all about the nothingness in their life. if u cared at all to begin with, you now want to kill them and then yourself. i also hate over achievers which is unfortunatly about half my teaching group at school. i also dont like politicians because they are liars and talk too much and do too little...and yet i cant stop watching the news. i also dont like people who try really hard to be cool or liked or whatever, just be who you are! i could go on...this is only the beginning.

Is there​ someo​ne you'​​​re attra​cted to?
ALWAYS. this is the life of an outgoing single 23 year old: you begin to have crushes on random people you see on a regular basis who smile at you. ie: the guy from the office, starbucks guy from school, the guy in the writing center (note ive never actually been in the writing center but the math lab is right next door so...), the cute indie guy who i walk by on my breaks at school, and a few "real" people from my former life who will always know me as a friend...the ol dawsons creek episode. haha.

that was definitly one of my better surveys.

my hero.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

so relaxing its almost boring?!

this weekend has been so so nice!
friday i spent the day organizing my music and putting CD covers on all my albums. it was out of hand and im such a freak about it being organized i dont know how it got so bad! well i do, I've changed computers and deleted and then reuploaded my music library many times. im going to back up my perfect iTunes so it will always be pretty now:) but my actual ipod is another story. more organizing to ensue! yay!

in the evening Annie came over and gave me my awesome birthday gift. a bunch of sweet office supplies from "The Office", love it! she helped me make dinner even though she was tanked and i picked up cammie from the train! we had a lovely dinner of pasta and salad (pretty much the only thing i can cook without fussing with a recipe book) and annie brought a cake and we had soy ice cream too! well, i had soy ice cream:) then we watched a favorite movie, The Life Aquatic with Stevesie Zissou. so funny!

yesterday me and cammie slept in reallll good and we went to the apple store to get something and i fell in love with an employee there that im sure ive met before but i cant remember when or where...hes my type. i love him. im trying to think of more reasons to go there and flirt with him. gosh, i have crushes on the best buy guy, the starbucks guy, and now the apple guy. i think im getting into that "crazy lady" realm and id better get out quick. anyway, then we got justin burritos and ate at the beach and went for a walk and sat in the lovely sunny sand. then we went to Envirogentle before cammie had to go home. then i took a nap...so nice.

today i slept in again reallll good. then i wrote a paper, studied for my mid term tomorrow, researched my summer adventure ideas for the summer, and now i think im going to make some pizza and watch my vampire show:)

such a nice weekend. i havent really been bored ive just been enjoying myself and being alone...it would have been too lonely without cammie and annie...but otherwise, its been nice to just read and nap and cook and relax.

PS im really upset because Degrassi is back for another season with all these young kids i dont know or care about and im upset because im too old for the show anymore and i miss my youth:( cassie is the only one who understands. i miss her.

summer adventure ideas so far: staff a DTS at YWAM Madison. staff the kids program at Hume Lake. watch what happens!

PS: i got a bunch of new music and its SO exciting! i have an ongoing list of music i want all the time...i add to it upon my research and readings...well i was able to cross a few off! new Cat Power, Dashboard Confessional, Interpol, Conor Oberst, MGMT, and i even broke down and got a few Duffy songs. i only bought 2 albums and 4 songs so it wasnt too crazy, the other two were for my birthday from brother. but ive been enjoying my new music SO SO much. ive earned it. love it.


Wednesday, October 08, 2008

my current observations:

im sitting outside the math lab on campus. i can be found here about once every 2 weeks because i suck at math, however lately ive been having issues with this place.

1) if this is a place to do homework and work on problems, why is it so dang LOUD?! the staff are literally shouting to each other across the room talking about their other math classes, social security numbers, meetings, tests, you know: really important things i need to hear about while im trying to do my work. sometimes when i ask for help, i cant even hear them explain to me the problems. i have to listen to my headphones the entire time im in there in order to actually get anything done. its so strange to me, why have a study place when no one can study cause your all gabbing away like old ladies about your stupid math classes?
PS i am currently sitting OUTSIDE the math lab and can still hear these loud mouths.

2) they always make me sign in and it takes me like 10 minutes to fish out my student ID out of my bag because i can never remember the number. why do u need me to sign in? my professor doesnt require me to sign in and show that i was there so why have me do it? im not 5 years old, and the door is always clogged with people also fishing out their IDs and trying to enter them onto the super slow log in computer. come on people, this is 2008.

3) there is a poor girl in there with SO much makeup on that i wanted to cry. it didnt even look good, in fact it looked pretty awful. im concerned for her. people: STOP PUTTING LIQUID EYE LINER ON YOUR LOWER LID it looks realllllly reallllllly awful and your really not supposed to use it like that.

4) there was this really cute guy leaving when i came in and he was joking with the ladies that he was wearing the same thing he wore to bed except his was really bad because it was a grey shirt and showed all the sweat and is gross...i didnt hear the beginning of the conversation but he was really funny and made me feel better about wearing the same thing again today. heres my reasoning on the matter though: i only wore it to small school and was in A/C all day so i didnt really sweat or anything. then i just sat in bed and worked on things. then i got a pedicure. then i changed. so really, i didnt do a lot in this outfit so who cares. i just think its funny. annnnd my rents are gone and im at normal school today so no one will ever know!

in other news:
i taught a really wonderful math lesson yesterday! yay! we did a big chart with bracelets with 4 charms on each bracelet and drew them all out until we got to 12. i was introducing their new number patterns chapter as it connects to multiplication. then they had to come up with their own item and make their own chart. it was so fun! and the kids were so creative and worked nicely with their partners and it was just so cute! some kids drew a head with 4 teeth in each head...so funny. another group did pigs (4 legs on each of course:). a few groups did cookies, a variation of the bracelet charms questions, etc. i had a lot of fun doing it and i think it went well. we'll see what my evaluation says though!

another rant: i get really frustrated with people who try and talk about politics and why they are voting for the person they are voting for, but then when i ask them legit questions about specific issues and why they think the way they do they just spout some generality they heard from someone else (usually their parents or sometimes a friend whos kinda an extremist on either end). it happens on both the democratic and republican side and it just frustrates me. if your going to try and talk about something, at least be knowledgeable about it. otherwise you just sound like an idiot. THINK FOR YOURSELF.

crazy times!

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

something boring In honor of my birthday

well ive been reading over my old blog entires from last year and its been sooo interesting. i wish id kept this for longer...i havent changed a ton in a year, but in 2 years ive changed a lot. anyway. this is a survey from Nov. 9th last year so lets see how things have changed. im bolding my new answers. its not very exciting, but im bored so here you go...

1.The status of you and the last person you texted?
micah ficah! my dear long lost friend who i shall reunite with this weekend. Alyssa, my dear friend from school

2. What's bothering you right now?
im bored and i wish i had friends who werent busy and i went out. and i miss olivia. my parents are going out of town for a week and im going to be so lonely!

3. What's the closest green thing to you?
literally nothing in my room is green...weird. aha! a green coaster next to me!

4. What is in your wallet?
oh you know, an amazing amount of membership cards...some credit/bank cards...receipts...extra nose rings...little to no cash. exact same answer. but i do have a new disneyland pass (new as in i didnt have one last Nov.) and a NEW Cosco membership card which ive never had before! yay!

5. Wallpaper on your computer's desktop?
it changes every minute...currently its a cute picture of Rilo Kiley. still revolving, same sweet folder of pictures i love and have found online and just drag in the "desktop pictures" folder...currently its an Iron & Wine show poster

6. Background on your cell phone?
me and olivia from long long ago. My favorite painting, The Kiss by Klimt.

16. Listening to?
new episode of degrassi! new interpol i got for my birthday (finally!) yay!

17. Have you ever kissed anyone named Chase?
ive never even met anyone named chase actually. still no.

18. What do you smell like?
hemp. its my shampoo, teehee. my NEW Marc Jacobs purfume which i LOVE. birthdays are pretty much the best invention EVER. you get all the things you cant afford for yourself normally!

19. Eating?
wine. drinking water. no more wine!!! (for now;)

20. What's your favorite thing to have on your bed?
a bella and lola. oh little doggies, i love you but you smell. i prefer people now.

21. If you could change something in your life, what would it be?
oh jeez...id be done with school and teaching art in a sweet private school in italy. i would be living with dear friends in downtown Carlsbad or Enc. and would be rich so i didnt have to worry about trying to pay rent and be in crazy school!

22. What do you wear to bed?
pants and old band shirts cause im cool like that. same!

23. Do you remember your dreams?
not usually...and whenever i do it freaks me out cause i get deja vu. same! every once in awhile i get a doozy though

24. Who will you sleep with tomorrow?
bella and lola. they have their own bed now which is sad but good for me, i get sleep! i sleep alone. like always.

25. Have you ever been gambling?
a little bit, but im not really into drunkinly throwing away money that could feed little children in india. i find gambling stupid for the exact same reasons.

26. What's something you wish you could understand better?
why college is so hard. new answer: what boys want (besides the obvious)

27. What did you do last night?
went to art class and then got updated on my shows. went out to dinner for my birthday with the whole family! so fun!

28. Who do you miss?
olivia cassie micah cammie. now just Olivia and Cassie. two down, two to go!

29. Who is the last person you hugged?
annie yesterday when she went home sick:( my doggies, they always want cuddles:) but a real person, i think uncle dan and Josi last night at birthday dinner!

30. Do you keep up with MLB standings?
i dont know what that is. ok ive figured it out, its major league baseball right? ok, but no.

31. Who was the last person you went somewhere with?
alyssa from school and i went chalk drawing in the night. momma just took me to get our toes done, yay!

33. Have you kissed anyone on your top friends?
why yes, yes i have. ok not really, not a realllll kiss.

36. What was the last thing you drank?
wine. water water water

37. Where were you at noon yesterday?
workin it up gettin paid doubleeeee. in math class re-learning things we did in like algebra I...yeah i dont know why either.

38. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
my great grandpa maybe. the Jacobs when Lukey was born almost a year ago! AMAZING night!

39. Do you like someone right now?
not really...it sucks. i always like someone, i was probably lying last time

40. Are you bored?
YES. which is y ive instigated this here survey. not really, i have other things to do but im too tired to do them. besides, its almost bed time! yay!

41. What is the last movie you watched?
i tend to watch parts of movies. the last part of a movie i watched was That Thing You Do! SOOO GOOD!!! ooooo it was Zach Galifinakis live at the purple oinion, SO good! way better then my last answer! for sure!

42. Name three drinks you regularly drink.
diet coke, water, tea. water is about it now. diet coke it for weekends only. boundaries people, i need boundaries.

43. What are you excited about?
WINTER!!! school being over...working more and having money...NEW YORK!...not to mention christmasssss!!! the semester being over, winter weather, yeah thats all for now. i need to plan an adventure.

44. Do you want someone you can't have?
sometimes. he just needs to get it together. haha, same answer as last time but im pretty much over it now. i just get confused. i doooo have a crush on the starbucks guy at my school...i think he likes me though so its ok.

45. Who was last to slap your butt?
weird. ok thats it, i need a boyfriend.

46. Where was the last place you went?
to take a stupid 3 hour computer competency test at school. didnt you already ask this? me and mom went to get pedicures?

47. What's on your mind right now?
my super fun weekend. how i reallllly need to go to bed

48. Have you cried recently?
ive been really teary lately whenever i read this news...theirs just a lot of sad stuff always happening and i cant handle it sometimes. ive teared up about a few things lately but havent actually cried. a little when i was pondering about the upcoming election and the state of our country and world. a little at the show on Friday. when i miss cassie and olivia. when im lonely. but i recover quickly.

49. Do you want to be in a relationship right now?
yeah but i just wanna have fun. its getting out of hand actually.

50. And why?
cause i like boys and kissing and cuddling and dates and fun. because im awesome and someone is missing out on my awesomeness. pretty much the best possible answer anyone could ever give to that question...hahaha

Monday, October 06, 2008

happy birthday to me!

yayyyyy its my 23rd birthday!!!

i had such a lovely birthday weekend. Friday night me and the rents went to see my favorite musicians of all time play a show on the same bill! what are the odds?!

Iron & Wine


the Swell Season as featured in the movie ONCE (my fav movie of all time of course).

that was quite a night. for all of us music lovers out there, we know that feeling your body gets when your listening to some amazing music. its hard to describe. its like your heart is beating so fast and you start breathing really fast and you feel kinda tingly and happy...so so happy but also like to want to cry...and sometimes you do. you want to close your eyes and fall into the sound but also want to keep them open to see how they are making that beautiful noise. its got to be similar to how a drug makes people feel. thats the best i can describe it. if you've never experienced this either your listening to shitty music or you're never allowed to say "im really into music"...or both options of course.

anyway, then Saturday i slept in real good and played with kelsey and annie and jordan a little and then went down to Micah and Cammies for a joint birthday for me and Julia. Our birthdays are both today! yay! they had a black and white theme party and me and Julia got to wear a dash of color cause its our birthday:) it was SO fun! Tisha and CJ were there...and cammie and micah of course...and new church friends. so nice. except when i drank too much and wasnt a happy camper. hence, why i did NOTHING on Sunday because i was so so so sick. Champange can really do me in apparently. not fun. but im feeling fine today and just went to school. tonight me and the entire family are going out for a nice Italian dinner in Enc! yay! so fun!

heres some really cute pictures from Saturday night, i LOVE them!

Friday, October 03, 2008

something funny

in case you dont know, me and my friend annie both work as the receptionist at an executive suites in the area. actually, the correct term is "office manager" since we do more than just answer phones and mail stuff:) anyway, annie works M-TH and i work Fridays. me and annie write work notes to each other to keep up on things going on in the office. usually they are just normal office things, but sometimes its just really boring here and uneventful so i write funny notes or decorate them or leave her weird things on the computer, etc. this weeks note is just really funny and since she wont see this till at least Monday im posting some excerpts for your viewing pleasure.

"Brad Pitt" is the beautiful and mysterious boy who sometimes works in the studio. hes so mysterious we dont actually know his name. he only smiles...sometimes...

the final paragraph is clearly a reference to Twilight in case your an idiot and havent read it (seriously, go read it now)


Hey Annie!
Special Events as of today. PS I like how in the rent folder it says “bills that have special needs” I think it’s funny. Its like one bill is in a wheelchair, another is blind, maybe one has one leg, etc…I laughed out loud thinking you were trying to be funny but then realized maybe you didn’t even realize your genius…although then again, maybe you did and chuckle every time you open the folder…in fact maybe you wrote it on purpose so every time you opened the folder you would laugh instead of hate your job or something. I just don’t know anymore.

I think the office is going to keep being crazy with everything going on with the financial industry and all the offices booked and the studio stuff and the magazine being all crazy too. It’s just a crazy time I think! If it doesn’t slow down again eventually, I’m asking for a raise! Hehe just kidding (or am I?)

I just talked to Brad Pitt. I asked him what he got for lunch when he got back and he said

“just on a roll”

…he said 4 words to me…sigh…

(does “a” count as a word? It does now)

I just wish he wore tighter pants.

I had a delicious veggie burrito from Primos today and a GIANT diet coke. When I asked them for the biggest cup they ever had he jokingly started to walk to the back and said “hold on, lemme just go get a bucket”. I laughed a lot, it was just so clever of him! Little does he know I could clearly down an entire bucket of diet coke and this is no laughing matter.

I keep forgetting to tell you that the exact other side of my neck has exact replicas of my other vampire bite. It’s weird. I think someone beautiful sneaks through my window at night and love bites me and holds me in his freezing stone cold arms. Swoon…

me and annie at the office last winter. clearly Big Gulps of Diet Coke (or Coke for the Ginger) are preferable over coffee ANY day! (its ok to be thinking- "big gulps huh...welp, see ya later!" we said that pretty much every time we had them too...which was pretty much everyday)

Monday, September 29, 2008

beginning of a lovely week

today my math class was cancelled! yay!
so i skipped my early morning class before it and me and alyssa are meeting for lunch at panera instead! she get a snazzy new car so its kinda a celebration of that and class being cancelled and our friend danielle just got back from sicily and may have big news for us as well...so hopefully it will be the beginning of a lovely week.

my dogs love it when im home in bed...they just come in and out and come cuddle with me and then go check on something and then come back...its usually annoying for me, unless i have nothing to do except enjoy what im doing at the moment...like the old chinese proverb says:

"know that whatever you are doing is the most beautiful thing."

(obviously i got that off of my Yogi tea bag.)

last night i watched Zach Galifinakus live DVD again...jeez, its just so funny! i just want to marry him so so much.

anyway, have a lovely week.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

what an awesome week!

this week has been so busy, but so wonderful! ive twittered a lot of my excitements, but lets review.

1) 86% on my math test! i suck at math! thats one of the best test grades ive gotten in math, EVER! and it was hard! and we got 3 extra credit points so really its an 89%! i almost had a heart attack when she was handing them back...i cant fail this class and i just barely pass my math classes normally, so i was so nervous!

2) my AD/HD presentation was AMAZING! we kicked ass!!! me and Alyssa are such theatre people and really enjoy being in front of people and teaching, plus our powerpoint was amazing and NOT boring and we dont read off the slides:), and i got to tell lots of good stories about my family and i that everyone really seemed to like. the professor told us later that it was the best presentation shed ever SEEN! love it! oh, and we got a 100% of course.

3) i taught my first lesson to my third graders:) it was about "predicate" and what predicates are and they gave me examples and i put them on a poster. i messed up a little but because i wasnt totally clear on the concept she was trying to convey and i got confused with the different tenses...but i recovered without anything seeming wrong and the kids werent phased by it. my teacher said i did an awesome job and that even though i messed up it wasnt a big deal because i handled it well and the kids went with me wherever i was taking them. she said i was a natural! which is more important because she cant teach me those things! yay!

in other news: today was quite possibly the most stressful day ive ever worked at the office...besides when i worked for dc and wanted to kill myself because i was so stressed out all the time. but the reception is so easy! but today i hardly got any homework done because all these events kept happening at once...phone ringing off the hook...secuirty guy there trying to fix things and teach me to use it and then set off the alarm...tons of mail and packages to sign for...computers internet and phones not working...tons of clients coming in for meetings...it was CRAZY all day! well until about 230p when it calmed down for the most part. i was just overwhelmed all day because its Friday and im just dead by Friday and can only work that job because its not a lot of work on Fridays. today was just ridiculous. now i have 2 papers to write over the weekend and math homework:(

im having birthday issues. i dont know what i want to do because i have run out of ideas and everyones so busy and doesnt have money. i still want to have a big party at my house but i need to get that together if im going to do it and i just dont have the energy or enough friends to fill my house...i think. besides, cassie and olivia arent here and kelsey has traffic school on what looks to be the only day we can get together. i just want someone to plan it for me, afterall its MY birthday. i just want to show up...hehe.

owell, im sure something will be fun.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Finally a Holiday for me!

In honor of national unmarried and singles week i thought id post this beautiful song Pandora just gave me probably to get me to tear up but i just added it to the "possible wedding" song list i keep and then got back to researching the lesson im developing on teaching children about genocide. nothing like preparing a lesson about genocide to keep things in perspective.

all my love.

Beloved One
By Ben Harper

We have both been here before
Knockin upon loves door
Begging for someone to let us in
Knowing this we can agree to keep each other company
Never to go down that road again

My beloved one, my beloved one

Your eyes shine through me
You are so divine to me
Your heart has a home in mine
We wont have to say a word
With a touch all shall be heard
When I search my heart its you I find

My beloved one, my beloved one, my beloved one

You were meant for me, I believe you were sent to me from a dream straight into
To my *arms*
Hold your body* *close to me
You mean the most to me
We will keep each other safe from harm

My beloved one, my beloved one, my beloved one

Thursday, September 18, 2008


hooray! my computer should be back in my possession within the next 2 days! hopefully tomorrow, but im not counting on it. theyve had it for like a month, ive been going CRAZY! i have a project i want to work on it and some pictures and music i need to use it for so ive been going a little nuts.

my birthday is so soon! i believe October 4th Micahs house downtown is hosting a big joint party for a few birthdays. its a black and white theme and its going to be pretty amazing. everyones invited so if u want to come down with me please do! il only know like a handful of people there so itd be nice to have some more friendly faces.

but im hoping the weekend afterwards me and the girls can do something fun. but it will sadly be without cassie. sad face.

schools going ok, tomorrow i have to be there super early for a special meeting thing i have to observe for my class. afterwards ill probably go back to bed, maybe get my conmputer, and then get working on all the papers and homework i have to do. i realized that technically im enrolled in like 23 units this semester. i have 15 units of classes and 8 hrs per week of practicum and large assignments due in everything, including the practicum of course. im so glad im not working! makes me so much less stressed and i actually have time to do things! yay!

i got my hair cut today...im going to color it soon too. it looks lovely, and i think it will actually be stylable now! i was really frustrated before because i couldnt get it to do anything.

i had a big realization recently. im in love with people who dont exist. besides the obvious like Edward Cullen, Jim Halpert, Mr. Darcy, Russell from Almost Famous, Harry Potter, etc. i also tend to fall "in love" with real people i know who arent really the person ive made them up to be at all. somehow i imagined this entirely different person without even realizing it. its really hard to connect the two and say good bye to my fictional people. its similar to the feeling of when you read a book and you love it so much and are so engrossed in it that toward the end you get a little sad and heart broken because your going to miss all your new friends, places, memories...and such. such as Harry Potter series, Twilight series, even Narnia. but it has to happen. i have to say good bye. its a bit freeing also...like, i can begin to like other people without comparing them to all my fictional people ive locked away in my head.

i need to read more. Brideshead revisited is sitting on my night stand untouched. i want to try Wuthering Heights too. and maybe some books about Jesus. its hard to read during the school year because my mind is always so tired from all my lectures and homework...but i love reading. and of course, i need some more fictional characters so fill my empty holes now dont i.

all my love.

PS please someone have a halloween party so i can be Holly Golightly...please?!

Friday, September 12, 2008

because its too early to do homework yet

ive been at work for exactly 40 minutes. its just so early to start homework. im hardly even functioning, let alone could read these boring text books they insist upon giving me. oh green tea "Energy" please provide me with what you boast of.

Good things:
-im totally falling for my 3rd grade class im student teaching in. i wasnt super excited about it, but they're just so cute and fun. and they think i am the COOLEST and give me hugs everyday and the little girls want to hold my hand when we walk places and they're just so cute.

-not working so much has totally decreased my stress level. im eating healthy, making a point to walk more, getting more sleep than usual (for the school year), getting my homework and projects done without being stressed out, and just chillin. however, its still early in the year and we havent had a lot due yet...however, when things do start to get crazy, ill have time to do everything AND still have the weekends free, yay!

-cammie is finally in SD and its been SO wonderful spending time with him. i just have so much fun with him all the time! i forgot how similar we are in a lot of things...so lovely!

-its my birthday soon! October 6th the dreaded 23 year birthday arrives. I feel like 23 is just so dang old. but i do think 23 has the potential to be a great year. school will be winding down for me...i wont be so stressed with trying to work so much all the time...and im trying to plan some adventures for in between. plus, i have this weird feeling that this is going to be the year i meet someone legit to seriously date...its just a feeling i have.

-birthday celebrations this year are going to be crazy! ill have dinner with the family, i want to do cocktails with the girls out somewhere, im throwing myself a big party at our huge house while my parents are out of town (dont worry, they said its ok:), and micahs house and friends are hosting a party for me (kinda) and Julia...their actual room mate. im SO excited to plan everything...i love planning...and i love getting dressed up...i bought a cute little dress already...yay!

-speaking of shopping, yesterday was quite a day. i decided that it was high time to get working on updating my wardrobe bit. i havent bought myself things ive needed for a long time, and now that i have to start getting dressed up for teaching, it was time to get some new things. i LOVE shopping, i had so much fun getting everything! among my favorites are getting $70 shoes for $30 from the Nordstroms sale rack...a black pencil skirt that makes me look like i should carry a whip around with me...and skinny black capris that make me feel like Audrey reincarnated. and those are just the favorites, theres more! so fun!

and now a survey that Olivia did...i miss her. visiting her is one of my adventures I'm scheming.

Does your last ex have a job?
i dont know actually, maybe...i think hes still in school? i try and stay away from my exes...its a good rule.

What were you doing before filling out this survey?
opening the office...woo

Has anyone ever broken your heart?
yeah, but looking back it wasnt that big of a deal...it just seemed like it at the time and i didnt have as much perspective on life as i do now. i have a feeling i either have a huge heartbreak or a huge love in my future...my greatest love adventure has yet to arrive.

How late did you stay up last night?
i had to get up at 6a so i went to bed at 10p...and im STILL tired. im just really not a morning person.

What was the first thing you thought this morning?
this is what i literally think EVERY morning when my alarm goes off..."ARE YOU KIDDING?!" im not even exaggerating. however today i woke up before my alarm went off because i think i graded Fransisco's writing to hard at my 3rd grade yesterday...poor Fransisco.

What are you going to do this weekend?
id like to spend time with Matthew...but we'll see if that works out. i think im going to head downtown again and visit loved down there...plus everything is more fun downtown.

Do you still talk to the first person you kissed?
not really, but sometimes i stalk him online just to see how hes doing...does that count?

Are you Irish in any way?
actually yes, my grandpa immigrated to Canada from Belfast, Ireland. he has an accent and i have family in Ireland and everything!

Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?
it depends who im talking with. if its my girl friends it ok, but for some reason boys really like to bring it up with me and i really dont like talking about it with them. call me crazy.

Have you ever kissed someone you weren't dating?
once. i DONT recommend it.

Ever kissed someone younger than you?
first and longest boyfriend was a whopping 2 years younger than me. that was a lot for high school. i was only 1 grade above him but he was young for his grade and i was old for mine. im a creeper ok?

Older than you?
yep, the other two were a year older and then 3 years older i think. yeah thats right, ive kissed whopping 3 people. mostly because i dont let that creepy guy at the bar who bought you a drink slobber all over my face. ill pass, thanks.

Are you happy right now?
i guess...im just really tired and its cloudy so i wish i was in bed...and i dont want to do my homework...but im looking forward to the weekend! yay!

What color are your eyes?
blue. its sweet, except when every guy that hits on me uses it as a pick up line...heard it thanks.

Who/what do you hate currently?
school...i just want to be done. but i like my friends. and i like the kids. just 2 more years...just 2 more years...just 2 more years...

Do you get the recommended eight hours of sleep a night?
i try to get more, my body really likes 9 hours...but i usually get at least 7...then im cranky most of the next day.

When is your birthday?
October 6th...YAY!

Are you multitasking right now?
kinda...im checking out these hot guys waiting in the reception area...trying to look cute and Pam-like while they're here...and doing this blog all at once...hehe

Could you handle being in the military?
gosh no, i HATE authority...im secretly really rebellious when it comes to authority. its my big issue with democrats actually...i love your ideas of loving the poor...but i really dont want anyone i dont even know in charge of me. sorry.

Do you believe in karma?
not really. but there is the obvious thing that when you do something mean to someone they probably arent going to be very nice to you back...if not now, then someday...and maybe their friends too.

What are you excited for?
visiting Cammie maybe this weekend! new clothes! my birthday events! and oddly, thanksgiving break because i wont have work or school and i love food and family SO much!

Relationships or one night stands?
Relationships PLEASE

How many piercings do you have?
double pierced ears and my nose of course. BTW im really glad i never got a lip or monroe like i wanted for about a year...so lame now.

Few things you're doing at the moment?
listening to crappy radio, being cold, answering the phone, drinking tea

Who is the last person you talked to on the phone?
Annie the other day i think...i dont really use my minutes, free texting overrides actually talking to people.

Ever kissed in the rain?
of course! its the best!

How's your heart lately?
lonely, but what else is new?

Are you a jealous person?
kinda...depends how my confidence level is at the moment. if im feeling good then i dont care about being jealous...if im feeling bad about myself, then i get fussy

Did you have a good birthday this year?
yeah it was pretty good...goofys kitchen with the girls of course:)

Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
no thanks, he was an ass

Are you a heavy sleeper?
not really, i wake up really easily unless im really tired

How many people have you kissed in 2008?
1, it sucked

How did you feel when you woke up today?
so cranky...its still dark out! i just could NOT wake up

Kiss on the first date?
its been known to happen, but ive learned my lesson and i dont recommend it

Who was the last person you took a picture of?
myself. its a long story: i was taking my new clothes and matching them with old clothes i never wear in an attempt to make some new outfits...i was going to take pictures of each one and make an iphoto album of all my outfits so i could remember them and pick them out the night before from my computer (yes, just like Cher from Clueless). but then i remembered my computer is STILL at best buy getting fixed...and that it would take forever...and my camera wasnt charged...so i put it in to charge and then got distracted watching Friends and i got tired. so after one picture i was over it.

How often do you see your ex?
every 4 years or something...not much. we dont really have anything in common anyway, nothing to even talk about.

Would you ever donate blood?
no way. i have really really little veins so when i go to the doctor the nurses have to use a tiny needle to draw blood...going to donate blood, ugh theyd have to dig around my arm to find them with the huge needles and u can imagine how painful that is. plus, i feel guilted into giving blood so therefore i will not.

Have you ever driven without a license?
no i dont think so?

Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?

Do you want someone dead?
uh no, thats weird

What does your last text message say?
"how about sun the 12th for a birthday party?" from Micah:)

Do you wish someone was with you right now?
i wish i was with my bests...i can think of so many that i miss right now.

Where did you get the shirt your wearing?
Kohls actually...i actually really like it

Is someone in your mind right now?
Olivia because its her survey and because i miss her a lot

Have you ever been in a hotel room with a friend of the opposite sex?
yes! so fun!

Would you consider yourself to be spoiled?
depends who im compared too. me vs. Paris Hilton...nope. me vs. children in India...yep.

What are you listening to?
crappy radio playing Marc Antony. oh office music how i hate thee

When is the last time you cried?
wednesday when i saw a dead coyote on the side of the road. i said "im sorry Coyote that we moved into your home and then killed you". it was actually really really sad.

Who were you with last night?
parents and bella and worms...just chillin

Is there someone you wanna date right now?
sometimes. but i tend to have crushes on boys i dont really know. honostly, i wanna date Edward Cullen but thats a secret i dont like to discuss with normal people.

Friday, September 05, 2008

Cinematic Adventures and such

im SO excited for the following films. Usually I can wait until it comes on video and just netflix it, but these ones i think i need to see in the theatre. the last year of movies were just awful, this year looks SO promising!

Hamlet 2 current
Burn After Reading Sept. 12
Austrailia Nov. 14
Twilight Nov. 21 (OMG)
Revolutionary Road Dec. 26
Harry Potter 6 ??

AND the following shows are all coming in October, im not sure i can contain myself!
Oct. 1 Sigur Ros
Oct. 3 Swell Season and Iron & Wine
Oct. 19 Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band
Oct. 29 Neil Young and Deathcab for Cutie

i need tickets to all these events STAT.


Monday, September 01, 2008

just when i thought i couldnt love Klimt anymore, i find this among the prints i bought from the museum in Vienna. the actual piece is in Munich so i didnt get to see it, but its amazing! most of the gold in the picture is inlayed gold leaflets...LOVE isnt a strong enough word to describe my emotion for this picture.

lately ive been super self conscious. i think ive gained a little weight since ive been home and i feel so weird about it. i dont even think anyone else can really tell, but i feel just awful about myself. my self confidence is currently in the toilet. i started looking up ugly people online to make myself feel better. i think i have a complex. 

im sick. not only do i feel like crap, but im just so lethargic and antisocial because i feel irritable and so so tired all the time. all my family in the area is coming over today! uncle, aunt, and lukey pukey. and my aunt and cousin are here from michigan. and even brother is coming over! we're having rice and beans and drinking and laying in the pool and having fun. im tired (of course) and i dont like this hot weather. it just makes me want to take a nap with my fan.

tomorrow i meet all the third graders im going to work with. its their first day of school! im going to bring in some show and tell items to introduce myself. i had to pick 5:
-a drawing journal to show some drawings and that i like art and to represent books because i like to read also
-the art print i posted above to show i like art and my favorite artist
-my little eiffel tower from France to show i like to travel
-a picture of an ipod to show i like music
-a picture of my family

i thought that was a pretty good representation of me.
ok, back to the festivities. 

Friday, August 29, 2008

Do You Hear the People Sing?

this week was the beginning of the end of my life. school was long and boring and i cant believe i even made it through the days. highlights include:
-literally almost having a panic attack in my math class. simply because its math and i cant do it. thank goodness Alyssa and Danielle snapped me out of it. what would i do without them.
-after sitting down still and quiet for about 4 hours i asked the professor for a break and then slumped down on the table like i was dead...my friends thought it was quite funny, however i was completely serious.
-i have no idea how to do my math homework.

i also went to my practicum school to help my teacher prep her classroom, and i went to lots of grade level meetings about curriculum and discipline and an all staff meeting with updates about the school in general. im not really excited about my practicum. to be honest, im not really excited about anything really. im concerned about myself and my apathetic attitude and lack of motivation toward EVERYTHING im committed too. all i look forward to is what i do outside of school and work. this isnt good. i get graded in my classes on "professionalism" and engaging in groups and discussions...i need an attitude boost. i need endorphins. i need to exercise. i need a math tutor.

now im sick with allergies, oh joy. i feel just awful.
and the large black man from UPS just totally hit on me, that was weird. apparently my hair color brings out my beautiful eyes. oh jeez, come on dude ive heard that one a million times.

last night i went to see Les Miserables in Vista. it was amazing! its my favorite book and i love musicals, so i enjoyed it immensely. plus we had a delicious picnic and drank wine sitting on the lawn...it was so nice. i was so moved by the play, i already have pondered and loved the themes from the book, but seeing it with all my senses was overwhelming and just amazing. the final song had my bawling for the 3rd time and i wanted to share how moving the lyrics were.

Do you hear the people sing
Lost in the valley of the night?
It is the music of a people
Who are climbing to the light.

For the wretched of the earth
There is a flame that never dies.
Even the darkest night will end
And the sun will rise.

They will live again in freedom
In the garden of the Lord.
They will walk behind the plough-share,
They will put away the sword.
The chain will be broken
And all men will have their reward.

Will you join in our crusade?
Who will be strong and stand with me?
Somewhere beyond the barricade
Is there a world you long to see?
Do you hear the people sing?
Say, do you hear the distant drums?
It is the future that they bring
When tomorrow comes!

Will you join in our crusade?
Who will be strong and stand with me?
Somewhere beyond the barricade
Is there a world you long to see?
Do you hear the people sing?
Say, do you hear the distant drums?
It is the future that they bring
When tomorrow comes...
Tomorrow comes!

Sunday, August 24, 2008


lets see.
today is my last day of freedom. so sad. i hate school. im trying to have a better attitude though so im not depressed all semester. so today im going to dye my hair, buy groceries, maybe a new top, and enjoy my day...because its the last one im going to have for a long time. a day with no homework. a day with no deadlines. a day with a full nights sleep beforehand. a day of infamy. 

BTW Spring Awakening was incredible. please please please go see it, its the best show ive ever seen...and ive seen my share. the music, sets, lighting, acting, blocking, singing, writing...everything is just amazing. i kinda want to go again and sit on the stage...maybe ill wait until im in New York someday. its so weird, it just felt like such a privilege to be watching it...like i was getting to experience something that was so special and so private. but afterwards we were pretty emotionally vaunerable and raw feeling. good shows leave you that way i suppose.

Thursday im going to see les miserables in Vista. its my favorite book but ive never seen the play, im so excited! one thing about summer i do like, all the outdoor plays and events...so nice.

alright, off to the store for hair dye and fun.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Some Things You May Not Have Known About Me:

Note about my last blog which may have seemed depressing and strange. I think I was just fussy because no one could hang out and school starts Monday and I was gearing up for a crazy life again (which im not particularly fond of) and I miss cassie and I miss going to amazing “cultural events” everyday. Im having issues but I didn’t realize it until I just read back my survey. But really, I am happy. It just takes work sometimes to feel that way. But I choose to be happy, so there.

And now for a proper blog after a long hiatus.

Some things you may not have known about me:

-on Tuesday and Thursday mornings this semester, I am doing a practicum in a 3rd grade class in san marcos. Im excited to work with kids again but since ive already worked with 3rd grade extensively in previous semesters im a little worried ill be bored with the repetition. But then again, teachers teach the same grade every year and they still like it.

-I had an AMAZING day at Disneyland yesterday with my dear friend Alyssa from school. I couldn’t believe how hot and jostled I was all day but how happy I was anyway. It was SO nice to forget my troubles and just enjoy life. I think Walt had a great vision. And we made SO many friends there! Lots of cute cast member boys, sweet hipsters behind us in line who heard us talking about LOST, etc. SO fun.

-ive been eating a lot of cheese. I used to not eat any dairy but while I was in Europe the cheese was so good and now im just on a cheese kick. I only have it a few times a week on bread or something and it doesn’t make me sick because I don’t have a ton…but I just don’t like milk products in my body so its weird to me.

-I realized yesterday that I flirt a lot. I never noticed because im just an outgoing person, but I definitely seek out cute boys and find reasons (if I don’t already have one) to talk to them. It just comes so naturally, and im sure they don’t mind. Maybe im just making friends. Haha im ridiculous.

-I LOVE reading. I read at least 10 legit books over the summer. Im about to start another and see how far I can get before I run out of time again (when school starts getting crazy again)

-I LOVE walking. I miss it so much, im working on finding a good place to walk…somewhere flat and pretty where I can take my doggies and listen to my podi. Im thinking of taking up hiking. Not the intense kind…really just walking out in nature. So adventurous! Ha

-im going to see Spring Awakening tomorrow with Micah and im SO excited! And then on Thursday im going to see Les Miserables with Alyssa and her friends Emma and Byron. We’re going to sit on the lawn and drink wine and be fun.

-Ive decided i want to move to north park and live in those cute little houses and work in one of the balboa park museums with the childrens programs. i want to ride a pink vespa to work.

-Im sick of summer, I want it to be autumn now and forever.