Thursday, May 31, 2007

today

today i went to the doctor. cause of the virus i got, i got an ear infection and probably a sinus infection too...its not uncommon for the virus' i get to turn into infections...thats why when i get sick its kinda a big deal, i tend to get infections in my head a lot.

so i got some kick ass antibiotics.

now im sitting in bed with the doggies and watching "Wish Upon A Star" from my youth. i recorded it off the disney channel when i was in 7th grade and i watched it over and over...i also watched "Clueless" over and over...i tried to memorize what they wore and did so i could be cool when i got into high school...haha...
wish upon a star has katherine heigl in it from Greys Anatomy, haha i loved her before everyone else...

tomorrow im going back to work and then prob playing with micah ficah! yay for weekends and not being sick anymore! hopefully...

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

the adventures of sicky

today i woke up at the crack of dawn in pain whimpering for my mommy...but she was sleeping of course and couldnt hear me. now that my fevers pretty much gone, my body isnt in so much pain BUT my throat is so swollen i can hardly talk or swollow and it makes me have this amazing headache and be super sensative to sound, light, ect.

so after about an hour of reving myself up to get upt and get some ibuprofun i finally did.

then i went back to bed

then i went to the doctors to get my immunization shot for my india trip. it didnt hurt and was REALLY fast and i only needed one this time! and i got a lollipop, and i decided that lollipops are underrated and im going to start having them more often.

im so bummed because i could have worked all week this week cause Lucy the girl who works my opposite days is sick to. and i could have really used the money. damn damn damn.

anyway, back to my sick adventures. basically today ive slept. im kinda bored, but i have such a bad headache i cant really even watch a movie or read or anything. pretty much the best day ever thanks.

haha i have like 7 perscriptions i need filled for my trip i think itll be funny taking them to the pharmacy...i cant imagine how many ill have if i get something for my sickness now...i think im going to the doc tomm...

my dogs are the best, whenever someones sick in the house, they sit with them in bed allll day. its sooo sweet. scooter used to do it when he wasnt half dead, and now bella and lola have been with me most of the day. theyre cute.

i feel like craaapppppp

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

sickkkkkk

im so so sick.
i went to work today cause i tried to pick up an extra shift, and of course i end up being sick. Praise God annie could come in and didnt mind. i was seriously dying.

i spent the entire day in a fever dream in bed. i could hardly move and was in a lot of pain. finally im feeling a little better...not much, but at least now i can move and not be in a daze for hours and hours.

i just woke up enough to watch a movie and eat a muffin...i hadnt eaten anything all day. i watched la asburge espanola (the spanish apartment). itd been recommended to me by a lot of people...but i found it kinda boring and trite, but the end wasnt awful.

tomorrow morning i have to get a HepA/HepB shot and get perscriptions for meds for my india trip. then i think im gonna be sick again...if im better then maybe i can do something funner...doubtful tho...ehhhh

sicky sicky sicky face

ok im going back into my fever dream abyss

Monday, May 28, 2007

lets have some fun

ok so now that ive been re exposed to actual FUN bar life...not crowded and awkward and drunk annoying people, but FUN...all i wanna do is go out all the time. everything seems boring in comparison. arg. and im reminded why i had to limit myself before, cause u end up just waiting for the next fun thing, instead of living everyday in a child like wonder for Jesus. its important to have a balance tho...i guess ones early 20s are all about finding that balance.

its been the best way to celebrate being done with school tho, exactly what i needed. especially before going to india where i wont drink or do anything relaxing and fun for almost 2 months. actually, no one im going with has the same sense of humor or liberalism about them as me...this could be rough. BUT im still excited to go, after that i dont know what im gonna do to switch things up during the school years i have left...im gonna be bored. or just cranky from working and schooling all the time and living in place wheres theirs nothing to do.

today i felt like shit the entire day. my tummy is sooooo angry, and my allergies are either giving me a sore throat or im getting a cold...either way it sucks. so ive slept and rested a lot today...and im boooorrreedddd. especially after such fun days with olivia and friends. its soooo nice having her home, i love our talks...its so nice to have someone on the same page as me on a lot of issues...and has TIME to play! i love it. i feel bad for her and fiance tho, its gonna be a long summer for them so far away from eachother.

i dont think i got very good grades this semester, which SUCKS cause ive been working my ass off! and i thought it was going to be an easier semester!
heres my guesses:
literature: C
math: C
Art: B
Psycology: A
science: B

i was hoping to get an A in science and keep my GPA up, but they already posted the grade in science, it was so easy! i suck at school, i shouldnt go anymore.


i miss vpdq. i was thinking about how much fun i used to have. i dont have as much fun now, im always working or in class or doing homework. when i get home, itll be nice to not have to worry about saving for a missions trip...i dont think people realize how stressful it is to technically not have money all the time...like ur bank account says u do, but u have to save it for a plane ticket or outreach fees or something...it sucks.

i just wanna have fun. i guess im finding i have to make fun happen wherever i am...but how can homework be fun? or maybe u just have to do shitty stuff so u can do fun stuff...yeah that sounds about right. work hard play hard crap.

ive noticed that parents are more protective over girls then they are about boys...it REALLY annoys me...i mean, giving advice is great...but telling them what to do and then letting the boys do whatever...its weird how that works.

i need to meet a nice boy, im kinda over being single...where do u meet quality guys? NOT at the bar...probably at 20 somethings group...eh

Sunday, May 27, 2007

schools out, SO FUN!

well i was o so lonely, and now im o so happy!
im still pretty elated about passing my math class, getting into csusm, getting an AA, and being done with community college forever. its kinda overwhelming actually, im so happy!

and now that i have 3 entire days off work, its been so nice to be able to play with friends again! kelseys been home for the weekend, annie got yesterday off, olivias home, mattys home, and its so nice to have friends and have TIME to be with them! we just keep doing fun stuff!

friday i worked, but then late at night annie and kelsey and olivia came over and we talked and went in the jacooooozi, and it was so fun. we were gonna go out somewheres, but we were tired from working all day.

saturday me and kels and annie went to Jimbos (my favorite store!) got some healthy lunch and treats and grocerys. then we sat in my bed allll day watching newlyweds season 1, it was really funny...jessica is ridiculous, and its so strange to see how WRONG for eachother they are...they seriously just fight and bicker the entire time. anyway, then kelsey made an amazing dinner for my family and we had apple martinis and hung out for awhile until it was time to go ouuuuuuuttt!!!

me and annie met olivia and amber and jesse a little early at churchills bar and grille...hung out, i had some strong vanilla vodkas and diet coke...then matty and his friends came...most of them ive met or at least seen at parties, but we all sat outside round the fire and talked and laughed. i met a nice boy...his name starts with a J...joey? i think thats it. he works as a camera man doing reality television and i asked him about the shows hes worked on a little bit, and he made fun of me for saying "i know right", deservedly so. he showed me how to do this sweet trick with a lighter making sparklers into the fire...so fun. so things are going good...i mean i doubt its going to go anywhere, but its nice to interact and flirt a little with a nice boy...about 2/3 into the conversation i find out that hes going thru a divorce with his wife. awesome. so thats not happening, but it was still nice to be around new people, who are only kinda new...and have fun. i got to see other nice boys, who it would have been fun to catch up with too, but i was busy talking to the married guy...arg. it was also nice to get hit on by some not-to-bad-looking drunk guys...haha, it doesnt happen to me very often...prob cause i dont go out to places much cause im so fricken busy. it was funny tho. oh, and we saw another look alike to annies ex boyfriend...it was weird.

i decided that next time to go out, im sticking to wine. i only had two vanilla vodka diet cokes, but they made me all forgetful and i couldnt hear and i felt stupid trying to converse with someone about normal things. or maybe i just needed another drink to get the nervousy feelings away completely? plus, i feel classier drinking wine...but its probably like a milion dollars. i dunno.

ok those are my fun stories! i wanna hang out more there, its a really nice bar, and close to olivias so i can sleep there if i wanna, and its a nice way to spend time with olivia and matty. so maybe ill go again tonight and tuesday night, so fun! maybe i wont talk to the married guy the entire time either, great.

tonight me and cassie are going to church! tomorrow i have the day off PAID! i think we might have a BBQ tomorrow! yay for life

Friday, May 25, 2007

YAY! survey in celebration!

hi friends!
if you're reading this u probably already know my exciting news!
im pregnant!

haha, if ur my friend u also already know i just lied.

actually, i am no longer a student at community college! i have an associates degree in something random like "university studies" and i am offically a cal state san marcos student! i will be in the fun liberal studies program entering as a junior, and then i graduate with my BA in 2009. then the credential program for a year after that...bleh. but im excited to have change, and everyone i talks to looooves san marocs. new friends! people with similar interests! maybe ill meet an eligable bachelor finally, jeez.

im fricken excited. annnn my boss just told me i get monday off as a paid holiday!!! r u freaking kidding me God! You love me so much!

so in celebration, and because im not doing anything here at work except reading Velvet Elvis, heres a survey! i got it from a friend, and its pretty cute.

-If I were a doll, the accessories packaged with me would be:
macbook complete with hot pink cover. polka dot scarf. ipod. optional glasses. hemp messenger bag. organic kinda vegan cookbook. bible.

I have an irrational fear of:
it used to be business parks, but im cool with that one now...in fact im currently in one. other then that, i dont really have any irrational fears...except sometimes im claustrophobic, which is totally legit! i could suffocate!

-What type of food do you eat at your grandparents house?
my grandparents are all dead, thanks for reminding me. but grandma used to make AMAZING food...especially yorkshire pudding, any dessert in the world like her oatmeal cookies or shortbreak cookies. man i miss those

-What weight were you when you were born?
normal i think

-What would you do if you were stranded on an island with the person you hate most?
i dont hate anyone. certain people annoy me more then others tho. im sure we'd make camp on the beach and shed be abducted and id have to go in after her and find an entire civilization of people with secret hatches and weird communities doing experiments and being aggressive. id try and rescue the person and end up getting stuck in a cage that was meant for a polar bear (why are there polar bears on the island?! u ask?! i dont know either!) and get shot at trying to escape. eventually we both make it back to our beach, but the other people keep trying to attack us. the end

-I am opposed to:
people being mean. people who have to much money and other people who dont have any food or clothes. large cooperations taking over the world and leaving everyone else in the dust.

-What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?
it depends entirely on the situation and person. hopefully i would have chosen well and my husband/boyfriend is worth working with. it depends what type of cheating it was. wed probably had been in need of counseling and Jesus for a long time up until he cheated. see how it depends.


-Do you stalk anyone on myspace?
obviously! but its because its old friends and i care about them and miss them and wanna know about their life!

-I am too old to be:
living at home

-I find the thought of childbirth:
kinda intense, but im so excited for when that day comes

-Next door to my house is:
one house with lesbians and they have parties all the time and are loud and sound like hillbillys. the other side is a family with one little girl, and the dad has a room entirely for his collection of dungeons and dragons stuff. seriously.

-My preferred style of jeans is:
z cavaricci :cause theyre the onle ones ive found that kinda fit ok

-I know how to cook:
stir fry. pasta. chicken. rice. mashed potatoes.

-I am annoyed at:
my art teacher for giving me a B on a project i worked my ass off on, and a B- in the class. who gets almost a C in fricken ART. ass.

-Men should always:
protect their loved ones. whether thats financially, or physically, or verbally.

-Women should never:
feel insecure and take it out on those around them. Jesus thinks you're perfect, believe it.

-What is the worst way you were dumped?
uh, ive only been offically dumped once and wed only been kinda together for 2 weeks and it was lame and years ago. it sucked cause wed only been together a short time but id fallen for him, and cause he wouldnt tell me why...im pretty sure its cause he liked another girl already...oh yeah and cause he was pretty much 12.

What do you think is the worst way to be dumped?
hmm...just disappearing and not return calls or anything. hopefully i wont pick a guy who does that tho. learned my lesson from the one who moved away, fricker

What child-related smell do you not like?
baby throw up...basically milk and stomach acid...awesome. its sick and fun when its all over u

What sea creature scares you?
those fish who climb into ur vajayjay and clamp on and make u sick. parasite type of thing. basically someone has to go in there and pull it out...fun huh.

What color hair do most of the people you are around have?
hi i live in socal. BLONDE

What object have you broken most recently?
i dont understand. how can u break something more then once? once its broken its broken right?

Name one of the Spice Girls?
are u kidding! scary, sporty, baby, posh, ginger?

What was the last thing to make you cry?
failing my math test. but who cares cause he gave me a C!!!

I would like to be in an advertisement for:
H&M. im pretty cute, i could do it.

What are the stems of wine glasses for?
so the wine doesnt get hot and gross. so u can easily swish and smell

My favorite shoes are:
my rainbows. but also my heels...theyre real cute and comfortable. I WANT FLATS THAT ARENT 50$. then my shoe collection would be complete

My mothers' greatest fear:
probably something happening to me and/or brother

Can you use chopsticks?
yeah, but i like spoons.

Do you prefer beaches or mountains?
i havent been to the mountains before actually. so the beach! which i like anyway so ha

Mornings or evenings?
EVENINGS. i am NOT a morning person. i like the night life, i like to boogie

Sunshine or rain?
i loooove the rain. but i get depressed and sleepy, so it needs a good balance of sunshine.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

lonely

have we ever discussed how i dont like being alone for long periods of time?
i need alone time for like 2 hrs a day, maybe...usually just to rejuvinate and have quiet for awhile...maybe its the ADD...

anyway, besides that i neeeed people around

so today im kinda depressed and realllly lonely.
all my friends are dead

olivias on her way home, ill see her tommorow!
kelseys livin it up in burbank
annies off doing weird stuff in sanfran
micahs in julian
cassies been eaten by school

and i dont have that many other close friends i would wanna play with today or yesterday...

well...i guess its not all bad, i do have to go to school at like 2pm until late tonight...so its not like i have a ton of time...but i guess because its a mix of the last 2 days...lonely esther.

today i have to go turn in some parts of my art project i forgot to on tuesday...and pick up my big one. study for psycology and take the final...which isnt cumulative so it should be easy peasy....i should ask her if i dont have to take it and i can still get an A in the class...thatd be sweeeet.


last night was a pretty big deal. american idol finale...but more importantly, LOST finale!
it was so intense! (once again, had to watch it all alone) and kinda confusing! but i knew locke would be back...and friggen walt coming all creepy like...and whats with the flash forward? is it a flashforward? why is jack such a psyco? is his dad alive? is it what he thinks is going to happen? did it happen and now they're back on the island again playing a big game? why do these people wanna go home...crazy ben is right, most of them have nothing to live for back there...is that on purpose? and what the hell charlie?! u could have swam out! u had scuba gear all ready for u, by the time that whole place flooded u could have gotten out...u made it down without any gear, u could have made it up again! u make ur own destiny stupid! arrrrrg. great, now the one character i like the best is dead...perfect. couldnt have been one of the countless other people on the plane...had to be charlie. i cant wait till this show is over and i know all the answers...but then again, then the mystery would be over.

i miss harry potter.

u know who else i miss? my friends.

its finally sunny out! lets lay out! woohoo! o wait, no...no ones here.

itll be fine, tomorrow after work ill have more fun time! yay!

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

day off

today i stayed in bed until 12pm
sleeping, reading, computering, ect.

now ive been watching audrey hepburn movies and wishing my friends were in town for tonights LOST finale and for something fun...

sun came out today!!! yay!

i cleaned a little...cooked myself lunch...worked on india stuff some more...talked on the phone to friends...ect.

its been a good day, i cant believe its already 6pm...craaazy

american idol finale tonight too...im bored about it tho, i dont care anymore

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

allllmost

im almost done with school!!!

except...i dunno about passing math or literature, which is annoying cause i totally worked hard in those classes and i still dont understand why i suck. i just wanna transfer and be done with these crap classes!

but i was thinking about it...if i had to do one more semester at mira costa to retake the above classes...it wouldnt be so bad. theirs like 4 classes i wanna take just because (printmaking, tap dancing, drawing, photoshop) and then if i just took literature and math there and planned to go to cal state for the spring semester...well lets just say it wouldnt be the end of the world and it would definitly take some pressure off myself.

i almost had an anxiety attack before the math final...id pleaded with friends to be praying for me and it must have worked because i was able to calm myself with remembering how much bigger God is then this stupid test and then my stupid learning disabilities...i was able calm down before it got to bad. Jesus loves me.

today i found i have a 73% in my stupid literature class...which is ridiculous but i hardly care anymore cause my professor is a goon and i did my best. so hopefully the shitty homework i just turned in doesnt bring it down any further...darn

AHHHHHH I JUST CHECKED MY MATH GRADE ONLINE!!!! HE PASSED ME HE PASSED ME!!!!
i actually had a 64% in the class, but he gave me a C!!! i passed! i passed!!!!

PRAISE JESUS!!!

Monday, May 21, 2007

ir ur my friend, ur gonna wanna know this stuff

ok friends, heres my life. this is very important!

this week is finals and me getting my newsletters out for my trip, so if im MIA again for this week...u know why. thursday night is my last one, friday i work till 4pm and then i wanna PLAY! and i mean i wanna drink in celebration of me being done with school! nothing to crazy, and if we go to a bar i wanna drink b4 a but because bars are expensive and im trying to save money for my trip...


speaking of my trip:
i leave for wisconsin for trip prep June 16th. that means we have just a few weeks (after finals this week) to play before im gone for almost 2 months. ill still be working M&F until i leave...so book accordingly. i officially leave for India from wisconsin June 18th, and officially return to wisonsin aug 1st. i return to home here aug 4th late at night.

june 9th my cousin moves in for the summer...and beyond(?)

there! now u know my life...in there somewhere im also going to woo aaron weiss and see mewithoutyou and play with CJ tisha and micah all at the same time. hopefully go up to LA with friends and mommy and maybe cousin to the warner bros studios to see harry potter and friends sets. play with olivia as much as possible. go to disneyland with machu and the others. help my friend kelsey move away forever. say goodbye to cassie for 3 months. ect.

im realllly excited for my trip. its going to kick!

people i need to hangout with before i leave/they leave:
obviously cassie kelsey annie olivia micah
also kathleen and the old girls, jen the german, hopefully lauren bullock, hopefully the matthews in my life, hopefully vpdq but its doubtful, ect.

if u see ur name on the list then we need to play, if not then i dont like u

i feel like im 12

Friday, May 18, 2007

nothing exciting

basically the week continues to be FILLED to the brim with finishing school, and preparing for finals and projects, ehhhh...

the math final.i really dont think im going to pass the class. im frustrated and i want to know if i should even bother studying my ass off for the final if its not worth it cause im not going to pass anyway. they arent offering it at my comm college next semester, so ill either have to take it at csusm, or another comm college. either way sucks cause ill already have upper division classes galore.

my art project is coming together, i really like it:) ill be working on that to all weekend.

literature teacher lied. suprise suprise. i asked him about the final and he said we didnt have one, we were just gonna read something and discuss it. the reading is this long ass play, and now all of a sudden we have to write an essay comparing the play to Oepipus. LIAR. sucks. maybe i can write it at work on monday...cause id like to try and not work on homework...besides art which is fun, over the weekend.

i finished my online science class just now!!! yay! i think i got an A...we'll see. one down.

child psyc is easy, just a normal test, not cumulative. woot! i think im getting an A in that class too.

arent u so glad u know all that. i hate writing about school, but its all ive been doing...thats why ur here right? to know about my life? well there u go.

im at work, and annie was delivering an order in the area and came to visit me! now shes gonna go get me food and a diet coke -YES- and we're gonna eat lunch together here! yay! im excited, cause im so tired and cranky cause of stress...ehhh

that is all.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

things

olivia comes home next week and im SO excited
i think i got her a job at my work, shell get to work with annie kinda

my cousin is moving out here on june 9th to live with us.
im going to have a little 16 year old sister...should be interesting considering adolescence is rough.

im going to india for like 7 weeks. thats a long time.
ill be home august 4th ish, in time to still have a few weeks of summer with loved and play with olivia and vpdq before the wedding and school starts again. so good.

i got the new maria taylor cd. is lovely. i really like her.

not much today. just went to class and worked on projects for school and india. another busy day tommorow. just a few more days until school is OVER. no more community college for me.

lovelove.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

palm springs cont...

so much fun!!!

we just got back about an hour or so ago from our fun weekend in palm springs!

we stayed at the Caliente Tropics Resort (caliente means hot in spanish just so u know) for 2 nights, and mostly we layed out and went swimming. then we'd also go in the room and watch movies and take a break from the heat for awhile...it wasnt super duper hot, but during the peak heat hours of the day unless u were in the pool u werent comfortable. otherwise it was nice! kelsey made us yummy meals, and we also went out for mexican food and strolled the town for awhile last night. then today we got up and packed the car up, layed out awhile more, went to stein mart (where i got shoes for olivias wedding! yay!) cause we had never been and their was one right by our hotel, and then we went to see the giant dinosaurs in Cabazon! just like pee wee herman! so fun! we visited them and annie saw a guy who looked like her ex boyfriend. and then we ate in the diner and it was yummy and kinda silly.

i already miss the girls. i wish we had money and no school so we could have stayed another night, that would have been perfect. and that annie wasnt sick during the time. that was a bummer, but she felt good a lot of the time also so it wasnt all bad.

so im going to post some pictures for ur viewing pleasure!

lovelove.

here we are on our way out! i know im weird thanks.

the rest of them i dont feel like putting comments telling u what they are. u can figure it out.












Saturday, May 12, 2007

PALM SPRINGS 2007

weeeellll...
currently we're in palm springs!!!
im taking lots of pictures to post when i come home (i didnt bring the cord)
and we're so cute and fun at this old 60's motel.
lots of stars have stayed here and theirs all kinds of people here. so fun!

we got up and layed out for a few hours, then it got really hot and annies not feeling well, so we decided to come inside for awhile. curently we're watching Notting Hill on tv and some are eating lunch and others are not (me) cause im not hungry yet.

ive been drinking.

im a little drunk. my lips are numb. not to bad tho, still coherant.

this movie is amazing. but we're all single so its a little depressing.

hers some pictures of us i just took!!!


soooo i woke up early and was bored

yeah. and i looked cute so i kept going

me and kelsey like 5min ago, woot.

thats out our window this morn. its so pretty! bright blue cloud sky and mountains surrouding us! amazing!

view from me. we're just really fun.

WE'RE SUCH FUN! UR SO JEALOUS WE'RE FRIENDS!

often i wish i was someone else so i could be friends with us.

Friday, May 11, 2007

the time is now the walrus said!!!

TO GO TO PALM SPRINGS!!!

so im at freaking work until 4pm...1 more hour...
and then i rush to target to get some new sunglasses and diet coke
and then rush home to finish packing
and then we gooooooooooooooooooooooooo

good news!
cut boy in my lit and psyc class talked to me yesterday for like 10minutes! annnd he was totally trying to talk to me like he was interested in my life...not just random stuff or whatever. i only realized later how exciting it was!
and today fedex guy came by, hes so cute and nice...but im wondering if all fedex guys are so friendly and flirty like that...im getting the feeling they are.
note to self: never marry a fedex/ups guy...damn

next week is going to be horrible. i have so much to do its kinda frightening. hence why this weekend has to be amazing! prep for the hell to come...

i stole someones food out of the fridge today. i feel kinda bad, but it was just a burrito in a big box of cosco size box ones. and it was organic with no meat! i couldnt resist! but also, we're supposed to throw away stuff with no names on it, and the box didnt have a name soooooo...
maybe i should replace it. this reminds me of when that guy kept stealing ross's sandwich at the museum office and ross FREAKED out. i dont want someone to get mad.

i miss movies, i havent gotten to watch any all week.

i brought math homework to do, but id rather kill myself so i voted "no" on doing it. id rather sit here and do nothing obviously.

u know those little needles that grow on palm trees? one time i got 3 of them poked thru the webbing in between my fingers. i was rollar blading or something and put my hands out on the tree to try and stop myself. it hurt like a bitch. i think i was 12. i just rmemebered that cause out the window theirs a bunch of them and they look very forboding. i think if we're stranded on an island, i would use them to sew things...and use plant strings for thread. id be very resourceful.

speaking of islands, i watched LOST the other night and it was so good. but i have no one to talk to about it cause ive been to busy. this jacob thing/fellow is weird and kinda annoys me cause as they're revealing secrets of the island, they are less cool then the ones i came up with. or are they?!

i want a diet coke so bad. but i only have a 10$ bill and i dont want all that change. maybe i should scrounge around for some change in the bottom of my purse. cause i want it real bad. and its tea time.

i think im graduating with my AA in 2 weeks.kinda exciting right.

this will make u laugh a lot.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

survey to beat my wednesday blues

sooooo i go to palm springs this weekend if u havent noticed. its pretty much going to be the best time of my life, thanks.

in celebration!

Body: Write exactly what's on your mind and don't change it.

1. My 'ex' is still= pretty, but not the one for me

2. I am listening to= kyxy 96.5 at work...its commercials tho

3. Maybe I should= quit picking my nails cause the left hand is ugly

4. I love= pink pens, i just got one and it makes me really happy

6. I don't understand= how fish breathe underwater

7. I lost my respect for= jessica simpson. hehe

8. I last ate= a chicken bake from costco. too much cheese. and it had bacon and was really upsetting. now my tummy hates me

9. The meaning of my display name is= my name, pretty clever huh

10. Love is= so fun! but also pretty heartbreaking

11. Someday= i have a new hybrid

12. I will always= have a dog, when i dont, u will know i am sad without one cause i love dogs so much

13. Love seems to be= misunderstood by our generation

14. I never ever want to lose= my friends, i love them

15. Myspace is= GREAT for keeping up with all my friends who live around the world

16. When I woke up this morning= i wanted to kill myself cause i was so tired

17. I get annoyed with= my boss who forgets things and then blames me

18. Parties= AMAZING with the vpdq. pretty much the best times in my life

19. My pet[s]= are wonderful, i am in love with them. Bella and Lola, basically my house is a sirority.

20. Kisses= aww i miss them...lets see, its been 3 years...sigh

21. Today I= woke up at the crack to get to work for 730am, came here to work, took my lunch going to cosco getting my eye exam and new contacts, now im here...have school later...art homework...bed

22. I wish= i was already graduated from school, i hate it and i have 2 more years and even then i dunno if ill get to do what i want to do. sucks. i also wish i had lots of money to go on trips and buy a new car and move out. sucks

23. I really want= to move out with annie and send for cammie to come and live with us and i get him a good job. a new car. free flights so i can take mission trips galore. find boyfriendc, hes apparently lost

PRESENTLY-
01. is your hair wet?: thatd be weird
02. is your cell phone right by you?: yeah
03. do you miss someone?: always
04. are you wearing chap stick?: yeah! howd u know?!
05. are you tired?: yeah, not to bad tho
07. are you watching tv?: no, im at work
08. are you wearing pajamas?: no, see above.

HAVE YOU-
01. recently done anything you regret?: no, i dont think so
02. ever lied?: no im perfect
03. ever kicked someone?: not meanly, just joking around. imnot abusive ok!
04. ever tripped over your own feet?: story of my life!

TODAY-
01. have you cursed?: no

02. have you yelled at someone?: i was realizing that i dont really yell (aggresivly)...weird huh

03. have you gotten mad at someone?: i got a little irrate with my boss for forgetting and blaming me, but im over it. thats just how he is.

RANDOM-
Q: is there a person who is on your mind right now?: annie cause this was her survey

Q: do you have any siblings?: brother

Q: do you want children?: as many as i can find

Q: do you smile often? yeah, most of the day

Q: do you wish on stars?: no, usually i just end up praying

Q: do you untie your shoes every time you take them off?: haha yeah right, i hate shoes...all i wear are sandals or heels or flats. shoes can suck it

Q: do you like your handwriting?: yeah, but sometimes i think it looks like a little kids, teehee

Q: are you a friendly person?: do people answer "no" to this? do people think they're unfriendly? thats a better question

Q: who's bed did you sleep in last night?: like ull ever know

Q: what size ring do you wear?: large and incharge.

Q what color shirt are you wearing?: black and a green sveter that shows of my boobs

Q: do you have any pets?: didnt we already go over this? 2 dogs, now leave me alone!

Q: what were you doing at 7pm yesterday?: being stressed out

Q: I can't wait until: THIS WEEKEND IS PALM SPRINGS

Q: Is tom on your friends list?: maybe, i dont know

Q: ever cried on your friend's shoulder?: yeah, its kinda awkward so i try not to do it often

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

new rule

people arent allowed to post things about being done with school/only having one midterm left/ect.

i mean, whats the point really?

and i dont mean on ur own personal blog, i mean on like a myspace bullitin or a facebook current status thing...

it just makes certain people jealous of u.

and its not really a conversation starter like gushing about a trip ur taking or how ur getting married or something like those things are.

its just u bragging, and what did Jesus say about bragging? he said u die, so ha.

so now let me tell u how i only have 3 weeks left of school, one of those weeks is just finals, and one of those weeks is this week which is about half over.

im going to palm springs this weekend with 3 of my best girls, and it will probably be the best time of our life. im going to proudly drink my troubles away, because i have a lot of them and im not ashamed.

india is to stressful and i dont wanna go anymore.

my dogs are really really really cute, and i wish i was allowed to take them everywhere i go.

its really hot out. yesterday annnd today. the fan in my room is shit so i need to buy a legit one. i had to sleep with the window open, which i never do cause im such a light sleeper and the window faces the street and i cant sleep with anything open or any light coming in. so i slept with headphones, but the dogs kept waking up and barking cause of the noises outside and it sucked.

i should go to starbucks and get a soy latte.

soooo im allergic to milk, not soy. so why do iced venti, soy, chai lattes, no ice...make me so sick? weird right. it tastes like cake, so good. i quit drinking them for a looong time cause they made me sick...but i had one last thursday when i wished i was dead from such a long day of school...and now my taste buds are awakened! however, 4$ for a drink is kinda crazy...maybe ill reserve it for when im with kels;)

palm springs is going to be in the low 80's this weekend. peeeerfect for sun bathing all day long.

my lit teacher still hasnt told us what our final is going to be. hes so weird.

ok, that is all.

Friday, May 04, 2007

boy crazy

soooo its happening again, ive been getting all boy crazy all the time.

im praying Jesus heals my heart cause im lonely and its annoying.

i dont want to just want to be around boys cause i want a bf, but i need to be around boys more for just some good ol healthy male attention.

so its a mixture of both.

Jesus, fill me up. help me to only want you and want more and more of you.

boys im all twitterpated about:
aaron weiss from mewithoutyou

declan bennett who played "roger" in RENT annnd is british annnd plays guitar and sings

a friend of a friend who lives in canada who i met on facebook (i know)

quite a few other friends who just need to get a few things together in their life and then id marry them, seriously. (prob like 4 guys, i know)

random guy in my lit class and psyc class

fedex guy who comes into work

finally thats all.
this is getting ridiculous.

ugh

Thursday, May 03, 2007

guess where i went!


and had front row center seats for 20$

and it was my first time

seeing the broadway tour of RENT

AMAZING.

the movie sucks in comparison, and i loved the movie so thats saying a lot about the play

and the music director guy looked like X and he even played the piano like it was his job! well, it was...

ive been like on this high since the show, and kinda emotionally sad thats it over cause i thought me and "roger" and "mark" and the guy who looked like X became friends, and then the shows over and im kinda confused as to when we're gonna hang out again.

and then i remember ive never actually met them.

and the boys were real pretty, and i wanted to hang out with "Roger" (whos real name is declan and hes british, sigh) so i stalked him on myspace (cause hes very 'serious' about his music) and now we're friends, he even posted me a comment...except it was just about his itunes music so i dunno if that counts...

however, being in the front row with a lil cleavage did get me some eye contacts, so maybe we made out secretly in our eyes...

your eyes

and were almost done with school!!!
and im going to India for 2 months!
i leave june 16th ish!
and im going to cal state in the fall!

and i have a real legit blog that i post on, so u should go there and bookmark it cause ur really interested in my life.
esthermkerr.blogspot.com

PS: theirs weird people who follow the show around and were waiting for the 20$ tickets since 6am and had like a campsite and blue hair and were weird. just thought u should know. im not that crazy

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

days

so all my days definitly run together.
its tuesday and i keep thinking its thursday or something...
i keep thinking the weekend is real soon and the week is over.
i left cassie a comment on myspace about how her midterms went, and then realized that its only tuesday.
i wanted to call kelsey and see if she got the job, but its only 1030am
maybe its cause its still early.
hmm.

so the hell that typically comes with the mid point and end of the school year is finally here! huzzah! but actually, its not going to be THAT bad...at least, not as bad as past semesters. i just wrote everything i have left to do by class, and it was boring so i deleted it.

i dont like getting up early, my body gets so angry. alllll week i look forward to the days were i get to sleep until 8 or 9am...or better yet, for as long as i want. they are far and few between, and i get mad when i have to random plans on those days and have to get up to an alarm clock. its silly, but true. i like the night life, i like to boogie.

sooooo im procrastinating writing my paper for literature...i realllly dont like writing papers, ive written so many in the last 3 years i think i could consolidate them into a book and itd be legit.

palm springs!!! when im grumpy and hate school, it only means ive forgotten about palm springs!!! yay! this weekend we have kels graduation...and next weekend we have fun!

i have to drive up to santa ana to get shots done for my trip. i need both hepititus A and B, typhoid pills, and maybe a few other boosters. can we reflect on how im going to be in india for 2 months! thats such a long time. just the amount of toiletries i have to bring is crazy...i need to look into if they have things like shampoo and such there...cause last i checked, they only had weird kind. but we didnt really go into grocery-like stores very often so i dunno.

my cousin is staying in my room for the summer while im gone again.

today i have hair like Hermione. all big and kinda bushy. but hot, not weird.

ok thats enough rambling, i should probably start this fricken essay...bleh.

i just wanna go to india and teach babies art and then bring some home, is that to much to ask?