Friday, January 30, 2009

25 random things about myself

FYI: i dont know how long im going to keep this up, so hurry and read it before it comes down.

Here's the rules. Come up with 25 Random things about yourself and tag 25 people in the note you would like to know more about. Some people have been funny, some serious, do whatever you want, k?---this is what it said before, do what you want!

1) I love technology and gadgets. as soon as the newest thing comes out, i want is ASAP. i swear its in the genes, my entire family has iPhones and would have it no other way.

2) I'm not competitive AT ALL. not with sports or school or anything. but i tend to excel in school because i work my very hardest at everything i do, even if its super hard like math and science. i often set the curve in my classes, shhhh dont tell anyone, my professors told me not to tell.

3) I can withstand a lot of uncomfortable things do to all my travels. extreme temperatures. disgusting bathrooms. dirty rooms or people. awkward people. hungry. annoying people. i typically take it all in stride, i wont be as perky as normal, but i deal without complaining, usually. i havent always been like this, its developed over the last few years.

4) I love dogs and all animals. seriously, its weird. i wasnt really into it even when i was a kid, its just developed over the last few years. i love my 3 doggies SO much, sometimes i stay home just to hang out with them because they are so fun! i like to make friends with all the animals i come across, cows, goats, chickens, other dogs, even cats ill talk to but cant pet them cause im allergic. for proof, see my pictures. its outta control.

5) I think A LOT. i seriously psychoanalyze my life, strangers, friends, it could be anyone or anything and I will think deeply about it. Sometimes i wish i could turn it off, i get tired sometimes. but its just a part of me. and its helped me understand other people and myself a lot better.

6) I hate the type of people and lack of culture where i live. i desperately want to move to Portland, NYC, Paris, any other big wonderful city. but im afraid that since ive grown up here, it will always be home and i cant escape.

7) I surprisingly know a lot about a lot of different things. health, traveling, fashion, art, history, film, music, photography, environment, theology, philosophy, literature, psychology, technology, politics and current events, and teaching of course. i can carry legit conversations on each of those topics. i suppose half is due to school, but otherwise i just like reading about these topics, talking to people, listening to the radio or TV, researching, etc. what can i say, i have a lot of interests.

8) I'm SERIOUSLY clumsy. its not that im uncoordinated, its just that im clumsy and dont have very good reflexes. i get hit in the head by the ball EVERYTIME im near or attempting to play basketball or volleyball. i injure myself constantly. its not cute. so dont get mad when i say i dont want to play sports and dont care about them, its really just my lack of competitivness mixed with self defense.

9) I feel weird hanging out with church people. apparently we arent allowed to talk about drinking, sex, or politics, and we cant swear. if it comes up, everyone gets really awkward and i HATE it so much it makes me just not want to hang out with them. it sucks, but its true.

10) for 2 weeks now ive been not eating out (unless its a special occasion) and have just been eating at home or packing food to save money so i can buy music. its been working. i think ive already saved like $50 or something. its kind of like a game, see how much food i can pack so i dont have to eat out. or, see how long i can go without eating until i get home. its fun.

11) i only wash my hair 2x a week. its pretty much the best decision i ever made. (dont freak out, i still shower everyday, sometimes twice i day if i exercised)

12) my hair hasnt been its original color since I was in elementary school. its just boring dirty blonde, just FYI. not cute.

13) my hair is the longest its EVER been and probably will ever be. freaks me out because i always wanted long hair ever since i was little, and i finally have it! crazy!

14) ok, enough about hair. im really flexible. seriously, i can do all the hard poses in yoga and can always lay my hands practically flat on the floor when im touching my toes. i think my flexibility may hide underneath all my flubber.

15) this semester i am reading 4 different books about the 1996 mount Everest climb. why, you ask? yeah, im still figuring that out. BUT i promise in 3 months i will know everything there is to know about Everest.

16) this summer is the first summer in 3 years that i will be home. its going to drive me crazy, seriously.

17) I have a body pillow i snuggle with at night because i hate sleeping alone. there comes a time in a womans life when its just natural to want someone next to u when u sleep, at least thats the theory im going with.

18) when im working on art projects i feel SO ALIVE. but i dont have time to do it very often, so it gets left behind. its actually really sad, my heart will hurt when i glance over at my drafting table and everything.

19) i love reading. its hard to read during school because we have so much reading to do, but i still try and read something during the semester. during school breaks i usually read no less then 4 books. over last summer i read like 8 books. love it!

20) i LOVE music. its not just something i say or pretend to be into. its how i LIVE. my 80GB ipod is almost completely full. i dont eat so i can buy music. i spend my free time researching music and watching my favorites videos online. my netflix is filled with live concerts im reallllly excited to watch. ive cried at many a concert. its just a way of life.

21) in almost every university class ive ever been in, i make "friends" with the cute boy in class. ie: we flirt and talk all semester but then disappear into our seperate lives afterwards. i didnt realize this was a common practice for me until just recently. even now im "working" on a boy and didnt realize it was part of my pattern until just now. gosh, i am awesome.

22) i love traveling. ive been to so many places on my list, but it just keeps getting longer and longer at the same time. i should be a professional traveler, im so good at it!

23) i have confidence issues. but i know this, and i work on it.

24) all i want to do is to work in a museum taking the kids on art adventures. or teach art full time at an elementary school. and then adopt a bunch of babies from India and live in a big house with animals, tree houses, art projects, dress up, crafts, movies, and so much fun i cant wait!!! these have been my life dreams for quite some time now. im excited for my life.

25) things i dont know or care about: sports, economics/financial business, cars, most science, most math, celebrity gossip, and sadly; most cooking. i suck at cooking, i try, and sometimes it works, but i just suck at it.

Thursday, January 29, 2009


My Tim Gunn day calendar inspired me a few days ago when he said i should spend the weekend (and days thereafter) working on my posture. When I did my ol acting conservatory we worked on our posture a lot. im trying to remember everything i learned.

so yesterday and today ive been working on my posture. its not as easy as it seems. and it kinda hurts my middle back? so i dont think im doing it right.

i figured it wouldnt hurt, and i heard if you stand correctly it makes you look thinner, so hey.

its also helps me to stay focused on how im standing, walking, or sitting instead of thinking about myself or other people in not nice ways.

i didnt feel good today. ive been sleeping a lot because i dont feel good. the winds make my allergies act up. and im a girl so sometimes i feel gross. like now.

tomorrow im working and doing lots of homework, bleh. BUT then im going to drug myself up and go play with Melissa and Lauren and a new friend named Erin at Jaymas house! we're obviously going to watch anne of green gables, eat sweets, and craft all night! girls are SO FUN!

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

i love the gym?

soooooo last night i went to sign up for my free gym membership (thank you health insurance) at the lovely new 24 hour fitness they just finished building kinda close to mi casa.
WELL, the boy who helped me was SO cute and SO flirty, i had the best time! but then "the printer wasnt working" so i had to come back later for my pass, which was fine since i was tapping yoga at 730 anyway. so i came back. "still broken". but me and annie kicked yoga is the butt! it was so great! oh how i missed yoga. id slept weird on my shoulder so it was kinda sore all day, after yoga and stretching it a bit more its been fine ever since:) i love yoga! so me and annie have a date for every monday at the PACKED yoga class.

so i came back this morning to work out and get my pass. so he printed it for me ok, and we flirted some more, and i flirted with the other guys working there who are all real pretty and friendly. i know its their job to be pretty and friendly, but it was fun all the same.

anyway, i did some cardio for 35minutes and did really well and everything, but when i got off i seriously almost fell over Bridget Jones style and i had issues remembering how to walk to my was really funny. then i didnt have time to stretch or do weights so i just peaced out but everyone kept staring at me and it was either because im sooooo beautiful or because i was extremely red faced and sweaty. now, i dont know if i was red faced, but i assume so. either way, i love the gym! all the boys are pretty and like to watch you exercise and walk around. it kinda feels like a meat market, but i just ignore everyone and enjoy my break from life.

oh and PS: i enjoyed my work out too, it was weird for me. i used to HATE exercising, but it was suprisingly fun and relaxing and my body felt so happy the entire time and afterwards! so lets see, cute boys+break from life+get to read and listen to music+feel really good+lose weight=i love the gym?! did anyone ever think i would utter those words? i certainly didnt.

in other news, i dont think i give myself enough credit. i totally made it through the yoga class and cardio today without dying or falling over or anything, i really had no problem with either. even though i havent officially "exercised" in awhile, i do walk my dogs, and can bust carmen electra strip tease, and can walk for miles a day for weeks in Europe without issue (besides the blisters).

ALSO (this has been a big also), im cute. boys look at me. i dress well. im not this awful huge creature ive made myself out to be. im so busy feeling bad about myself i dont look around and compare myelf to the reality of people around me. of course not all people arent cute, but when i really look around, i see that most people are average. its all gonna be ok. so all in all:

im kinda awesome.

but dont worry, next week ill be back to telling myself im ugly and fat and suck at life.
its sadly only a matter of time.

well little blog, that was quite deep and revealing for today. every once in awhile it does happen. well thats enough then.

i promise this is my last picture of myself from Paris, haha. i just thought it was fitting. and kinda awesome at the same time. i pretty much RULE at photography;)

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Some New Favorite Things

Some New Favorite Things:

1) soooo my new favorite thing in the world is the Carmen Electra Aerobic Strip Tease workout DVD. i know it sounds absolutely absurd and "where is Esther and what have you done with her?!" but seriously, its SO fun. i bought it on a whim the other day when we were at Circuit City because it was on sale and I'd always wanted to try it and heard it was pretty fun. oh man, im so glad I did. it totally got me into working out, i have so much fun. today i even dressed up sexy and put on some heels to do the routine, then i turned off the DVD and put my own music on (The Faint, if you must know) and it was seriously the BEST!
some boy is going to be extremely lucky someday.

2) ive decided to stop buying food and just save my money for music. for 2 reasons.
  1. My Music List is out of control: its so long that it makes my heart hurt to just look at it. i havent had money to buy any of the albums as they come out, so i just suffer without them. So ive decided to take $10-$20/week (which is a lot when you only make $80/week for food and gas + fun stuff) and set it aside for 2-4 vinyls at the end of each month. I believe this may help control my issues. we'll see. I bought 3 new long awaited records last night! it was really really really exciting! now just 20 more and we'll be good...
  2. the less food I eat out, the healthier I eat. and we all know my endless battle with my body. this takes care of that now doesnt it.
3) Dried Mangos. Alyssa brought them just to try them on our trip and after one bite out eyes got HUGE and we quickly agreed they were amazing! trader joes has them without anything added, literally just some dried sheets of mango. so stinkin good. ive eaten them almost everyday since. which is a big deal, since i dont really like fruit.

4) long hair. as much as we fight, i just love her. i can do so much with her and we have lots of fun with all my new bows and headbands, shes the best. ive had to get used to a lot of things though, such as remembering to move it to the side when you put your purse on your shoulder or even just to hoist it up a bit, otherwise its death. sleeping with long hair can also be interesting, we've tried a few different things: hair on top in a loose bun, but then my head hurt and it looked weird the next day. hair in a loose side braid: but then it got knotty and still made it look weird the next day. so we've resolved to just loose but all up and over the pillow, sometimes i gather it or something...its quite the process. most recently and most horribly has been the knots taking over the entire underneath layer of my hair. i cant put any hair spray in it or the next morning its DEATH. im not exagerrating when i say i spent an hour trying to get the knots out of my hair one morning, and not even finishing. they get as big as a fist or two. but i think ive worked it out, wide tooth comb during conditioning in the shower and some bumble bumble detangler may just do the trick. yes, i just wrote an entire paragraph about my hair, but whats even sadder is that you read the entire thing. and didnt even mind.

i have some websites i could share that im also currently in love with, maybe some new music, or how much i love the weather we've been having. but i really want to go work on my "scrapbook" so instead im going to peace.


i miss my second home. Versailles.

Friday, January 23, 2009

ok ok im back already

hopefully my "faithful" blog readers were able to correctly switch over to the other blog while i was enjoying my life in Paris. did you miss me? i know you did Kelsey, love it!

oh friends, twas wonderful. It was everything a vacation should be, and MORE. Alyssa and I had so much fun being adults on our own vacation and just doing whatever we wanted too..."im tired, wanna sleep in tomorrow and then go out?", ok. "wanna eat snacks for lunch and then splurge for dinner at a cute cafe?", ok. "wanna drink wine until the morning with fun Australians?", ok. whatever we wanted to do, we did. it was amazing!

besides that, i almost died from all the beauty that surrounded me on a regular basis. the art, architecture, fashion, and beautiful boys: i was on sensory overload.
it was like my heart painted a picture of a city just for me, and I finally got to visit it.

(SIDE NOTE: good news! a guy in our office just brought in his nephew whom they are in the process of adopting, hes 8 and in 2nd grade so OBVIOUSLY we became friends! within 2 minutes i figured out hes troubled academically, behaviorally, and has a rough road ahead, so i gave him some tips for how to kick 2nd grade in the pants! i love kids. and i love that it comes so naturally to me. its these little moments that get me through all the CRAP that awaits me at school. arg. anyway, back to Paris.)

Everyday in Paris was the best day! i just loved it so so much, its hard to choose my favorite things because every moment was so wonderful. i wont go on and on, just read the blog of what we did each day and know that everyday was AMAZING.

i had such a hard time coming home. i tried to prepare myself, but i still got grumpy and minorly depressed. it got so bad that I had to specifically pray that God would give me perspective on why im doing what im doing right now. Especially since in every incredible museum we went to, where I'd spend hours in one room, there would be a museum hired teacher taking groups of kids around and sitting them in front of a Van Gogh or Degas or whatever and talking about it in beautiful French. i couldnt even handle it! and then to come home to face a bunch of crap science courses, reading tests, lesson plan tests: basically a bunch of junk i dont even want to do. lets just say its frustrating. and to top it off, to find anything open later then 9pm, let alone 7pm, is a friggen miracle. plus, theres no public transportation. you cant walk anywhere. nothings pretty. and theirs no baguettes on every street corner. im just fussy.

ok what else, back at school. this semester is gonna be another crazy one. im trying to schedule in exercising and social events, but its hard. i forget how exhausting school becomes. i joined a small group on thursday nights with the single young adults at north coast church in vista. it was an interesting first night, everyone seemed nice but i had some noteworthy observations.

1) everyone was extremely awkward: really guys? how old are we?! just talk to each other, how hard is this? i think being a social creature whose been in TONS of strange situations and has just learned to be fun and not uncomfortable, i was frustrated.

2) im not in coastal north country anymore: what a concept, everyone was normal looking and even just wearing old jeans and hoodies! they drove old cars and lived in little apartments. it was SO weird for me. im used to going to church or even just the local stores and its like walking onto the set of the OC or Gossip Girl...but with sandals. i felt a little out of place, kinda like we grew up in different countries and spoke different languages...but im sure it will be fine. we'll see.

3) it was weird being in a church small group again: i forgot that they dont talk about drinking or sex, and are pretty conservative politically, and think homosexuality is awkward and feel the need to joke about it when they accidentally say something weird. that got old, real quick.

im trying REALLY hard not to let any of that bother me or deter me from getting involved and investing in the community there. this is just my first step so i can get further involved in the large group, im sure theres people who think like me somewhere there:) if not, then i can always peace after a few months and try somewhere else. no church will ever be perfect.
(repeat to self as necessary)

ok thats all for now. i have more we could get into, such as the breakthrough me and Jesus had yesterday, or the Aussie i kissed in Paris story, the LOST premiere, my crazy new professor whose entire class is about Mt. Everest, etc. but until next time.


PS: all my picture links are on the Europe blog. pretty much all of them are awesome, it was hard to keep the ones i posted down in size because like all 400 of my pictures were so lovely! and then we had Alyssas too! im tagged in Alyssas pictures on facebook, but heres a few anyway.

Monday, January 05, 2009

Wake me up before you go go
I'm in Paris January 6-15 (i know right!). We'll post it up real good at the above blog, so until then here is my last post!

-I have a legit crush on the butcher at Albertson's. He's a big tall, cuddly, strawberry blonde, with a beard! How could I resist! This has been happening for the last 6+ least i think hes the butcher. unfortunately since i dont eat meat ive never actually gotten to interact with him...besides locked eyes across the aisle on numerous occasions, *sigh. this should be a story, the vegetarian who has a crush on the butcher. oh my life.

-WICKED was absolutely amazing! I read the book years ago, and have known all the music forever, it was SO special to see how everything looked on stage. It was beyond my imagination, which is hard to do! The girls who played Elphaba and Galinda were just incredible. Megan Hilty as Galinda truly inspired me as an actress...i miss theatre mucho. I may have cried 2 times during the play just because it was so good and i didnt know what else to do with myself!

-me and mom went to the Norton Simon museum in Pasadena too, it was so great! They had lots of impressionist art from Degas and Van Gogh, and a special Vermeer and Rembrandt area too! It was such a special day, i was overwhelmed by the beauty in the museum and then the was just a good day! so inspiring!

-Then me and mom went shopping in Pasadena, i got some cute (and cheap! yay!) hair clips and earrings, had a pannini for lunch (my favorite), and we went to a really cool antique store too! I got some old postcards from Italy from there, but we had a lot of fun trying on glasses and hats and looking at all the furniture and old books. also, inspiring!

And now its packing/last minute get stuff together for Paris day! cant believe its already here! Except its really cold and i went to bed late and i didnt have any caffiene or a vitamin or anything today so im really sleeeeepy...maybe ill just nap and pack after dinner:)

it IS 4pm...esthers nap time! (learn it. live it.)

ok, well im off to Paris. enjoy work and school! ill be back complaining about everything before you know it! See you then!

Friday, January 02, 2009

2008 In Review.

Me and Olivia bringing in 2009!

This year hasnt been too horrible, but I cant lie when I say I'm soooo stinkin excited for 2009! Being 23 is awfully fun, and after 10 more months of this, I get to be 24 for awhile before 2010 too! so fun! I feel like the 19-22 time was just weird...lots of up moments and down moments and not a lot of in between, now i feel like i have lots of up moments and in between moments in my life...and hardly any crap moments. It's just a nice age where it feels like you know and like yourself so much more. what a concept?! and in 2009 i get to to go Paris, Cancun, New York, Oregon, spend a summer doing ???, finish my BA, and get awfully close to graduating with my credential too (spring 2010 bitches!).

however, here are all the important moments that happened in 2008:
1) Visited Olivia and Micheal in Oregon, so wonderful to see her sweet life there.
2) put my disneyland pass to good use with Miss Kelsey, Mom, and even little Alyssa
3) moved out for a month with dear Tamara
4) went camping with the girls in a tiny campsite for like 0.5 nights at San Onofre
5) took the best class ever, Childrens Literature into Film, over the summer.
6) backpacked through Europe with Cassie Blue for a month over the summer! amazing!
7) kissed 2 boys! thats like a record for lil ol me!
9) Cammie moved here!
10) Jordan moved here!
11) brother got Sparky! the sweetest doggie!
12) got to student teach with my third graders who filled my semester with laughter!

Crap things that happened in 2008.
1) one of the boys i kissed was pretty awful
2) i learned the hard way not to drink so much champange on my birthday
3) cassie moved to Oregon
4) school. enough said.
5) was supposed to go to New York with the family but it got cancelled at the last second
6) brother almost died in a car accident
7) i still havent found a good church, home group, or community
8) got kicked out of my apartment for having dogs
9) got fired from the church job i loved
10) grandpa got remarried which just pushes the bruises that grandma really is dead.

on that note, heres a fun survey!

1) Where did you begin 2008?
at a beach house in Newport? with kelseys room mates friends who were all a little young, but still fun! oh that was a good night cause a cute boy liked me...what was his name again?

2) What was your status by Valentine's Day?
always single, lets see how 2009 shapes up shall we?

3) Were you in school anytime this year?

4) How did you earn your money?
worked as a Financial Advisors Assistant, receptionist, and childrens ministry assistant.

5) Did you have to go to the hospital?
no! yay! sidenote: while thinking about this question just now, i kept seeing images as if I had been in a hospital, but dont worry, they were just from Greys Anatomy...i have issues/im very visual ok!

6) Did you have any encounters with the police?
no! hooray!

7) Would you relive 2008 over and over again?
maybe Europe, Oregon, Disneyland, and spending time with Cammie after years of not hearing or seeing from him...but thats pretty much it.

8) What did you purchase that was over $1000?
plane ticket to Europe for the summer, and Paris for this coming trip.

9) Did you know anybody who got married?
Paige and Matt, BJ and whats-his-name, scott and melissa whats their name...yeah, thats why i wasnt invited.

10) Did you know anybody who passed away?
no, thank goodness

11) Did you know anyone who had a baby?
my cousin Jessica had a baby and my cousin Rachel. I still havent met them, but they look real cute

12) Did you move anywhere?
in an out of apartment, see above.

13) What concerts/shows did you go to?
iron & wine and the Swell Season, random bands in bars, i know there were more but i just cant too poor to buy music, let alone see shows.

14) Are you registered to vote?
heck yes!

15) Do you still have the same job as you did in 2007?
my Friday receptionist deal I've had since like 2006, still havent gotten a raise though, i dont know if i should ask, i mean i only work there 1 day a week and took 3 month long breaks for trips throughout the years too...hmm

16)Has anyone betrayed you in 2008?
yeah, it hurts. but we get over it.

17) Where do you live now?
home. when san diego isnt a million dollars per month to live then let me know...

18) Describe your birthday?
me and the family went out for italian food and there were bugs in my salad. micah and cammie and room mates threw a big house party where i learned the champange lesson but still had a wonderful time up until that point at least.

19) What's one thing you thought you'd never do but did in 2008?
kiss a jerkface. backpack through Europe with miss cassie. be fired from a church. go to Vegas and basically be MK&A. be "that" girl at a party.

20) What has been your favorite moment?
I dunno, Europe fun with Cassie, sweet time with Olivia in Oregon, and amazing 12 hours in Vegas are all pretty tied up at this point.

21) What's something you learned about yourself?
people seriously think im beautiful. its still really weird. and also, im kinda awesome....i wasnt really aware before.

22) Any new additions to your family?
my cousins new girls!

23) What was your best month?
July. I was in like 10 different countries in that month.

24) Were you in a relationship this year?
once again, NO, but we're still pulling for 2009

25) What music will you remember 2008 by?
MUSE. friggen Twilight.

26) Who has been your best drinking buddy/buddies?
probably Annie, we have a lot of fun

27) New friend?
me and Alyssa got really close this year. oh and of course crazy Bianca! shes new!

28) Favorite Night out?

29) Would you say you've changed since the beginning of this year?
YES. i think im a lot more relaxed now than i was before. A LOT more confident and sure of myself, a lot less stressed and anxious, a lot more aware of myself (if that was even possible)

30) Do you think 2009 will be better or worse?
better! (see above) i have high hopes for this year, its gonna be good!