Monday, June 28, 2010
Meanwhile, I had the best weekend EVER!
jazz in the park...world cup at D street with friends...beer festival...Grease sing-a-long...more world cup with friends...AWESOME!
Heres the best picture ever of me and Melissa at the festival...BEER FESTIVAL IS AMAZING!!!
annnnd I ate my yearly turkey leg...sorry Vegans...sorry turkey...sorry tummy. but it was worth it.
Also, I made a life plan for the next year. I will let you know in the next post.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Being a substitute was my back up plan in case I didn't find a permanent teaching position or found a legit nannying or tutoring job. So Im on my way and called to make sure someone would be there to take my application (they go through and check to make sure the million papers are all signed and filled out correctly) and the "nice" lady on the phone informs me that they have a freeze on their substitute pool and aren't taking applications while they try and clean it out. She said to try again September 1st and they might have some openings.
YOUR WEBSITE DIDNT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THIS.
I hate you.
and freaking Carlsbad STILL hasn't approved my sub application.
It was my BACKUP plan. I don't even really want to sub but was just going to try and do some to get into a district.
So I cried a lot. And left the boy a message yelling and cursing about it. I NEVER yell. It was weird. Looking for a job is already so draining and difficult...then when you top it off with an economy of SUCK...your pretty much screwed. But I'm still trying. Applied for 3 more jobs today...
One of the jobs I applied for being a nanny in Dana Point called me 10 minutes later because it ended up being a pretty legit agency. She was really interested and said she called me because she was so impressed with my website:) (It worked!). She did a little interview right then and had me send her references. She said the next step was she'll check my references...do an in person interview...then I interview with the family. It definitely made me feel better after the substitute disaster, but I don't have a lot of faith it will work out. None of my other agencies have worked out. And the hours were weird but she said they were negotiable. see that, faith is GONE. I hate jobs.
I was reading over my blog from when me and Number 2 first started dating and thought our first date entry was so cute so I emailed a copy to him just to be cute one day...
Here was our conversation that evening (to my HORRER)
me: did you get the little email I sent you?
Number 2: What email?
me: the one of my blog
Number 2: oh, yeah...but I've already read it
me: what? how? wait. WHAT?!
Number 2: yeah, I found your blog a long time ago
me: YOU NEVER MENTIONED IT?!
yeah, thats me. freaking out.
but then I read it back and was ok with it...and he didn't seem to mind too much. I kind of always write knowing he could possibly have found it...I mean...I don't hide it publicly.
But thats that. It was pretty clear it wasn't his favorite thing about me...haha. So just when you thought I was back.
I had my first tutoring job today with the girls from my 4th grade class. So fun! Loved it! It felt really good to be teaching again...I miss it.
thats all for today.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Can we talk about how friends I've grown up with are getting MARRIED.
They are having or had BABIES.
This is what Im saying.
We're really old.
I'M really old.
Somedays I really don't want to get married because I like being alone sometimes and need space...
but then other days I watch too much Say Yes to the Dress...
or get lonely alone in this big bed...
or imagine getting to always be with my best friend (whose not a dog)...
or need someone to tell me I'm pretty...
and care where I am and what I did today (even if its nothing)...
or want someone else to do the dishes because I cooked...
or just want to snuggle...
and then I start googling THIS:
and somedays its just a real "problem".
But then I also remember that I like to be able to watch whatever I want...and turn the light out when I want...and don't have to share my bed with anyone...and can sleep without someone snoring or someone getting up before me...and I don't have to cook for anyone...and can have dates with all my friends and family every night of the week and have so much fun...and get to have a cute little Bella as a bed buddy.
so really...it all evens out.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
VERY frustrating. The boy had to break it to me that Im going to have to take something crappy to start out with and work my way up. I guess I figured I could avoid this since I have so much experience and a credential. I really don't want to substitute...it pays crap and I don't like not knowing the kids. And all the nanny jobs not through the agency top off at $15/hour which is ok if you don't have a degree but not ok with you have a degree and a teaching credential. Im giving it 2 more weeks of applying for the good jobs that Im totally qualified for...then Ill start looking at the cheaper paying ones.
I did hear back from my dream art teaching job I applied for...they said my travel experience and background sound wonderful and they'll be getting back to applicants in the upcoming weeks. Finally an answer! and from my dream job! woot! Im so discouraged that at this point I just figure I wont hear from anyone...but I keep on trying.
Family stuff and job searching and boy moving has taken a lot out of me. All of a sudden yesterday and today Im exhausted and all weepy:( I've been exercising to get some endorphins and to release stress which totally helps. And I've been making myself hang out with people I love even though I feel antisocial a lot of the time. I made yummy vegan cookies and Im reading good books.
God, I could use a break.
I start tutoring next week...I went and visited my little school to get stuff from the kids teachers to do with them over the summer. That will be awesome. Im really excited about it. She said she has 2 more students that will hopefully hire me too. If I could just tutor over the summer...that would be awesome!
Monday, June 07, 2010
I have fun plans during the evenings this week...and I'm trying to fill my days with keeping busy cooking or baking, exercising, chores, job hunting. But really all I want to do is nothing. I do like cooking and baking and exercising...but nothing else appeals to me. Who wants to do chores and run errands on their few days of freedom before they enter the working world for real? BLEH. not me. So I have successfully procrastinated a few things...and instead have been:
-sleeping. a lot. stay up late...sleep in...afternoon nap. LOVE IT.
-reading. a lot. I think Im going to join Melissas book club AND I just ordered a new book off amazon AND I still havent finished my Degas book. sitting in bed and reading should be a law.
-watching wedding shows in WETV. Between Bridezillas and Say Yes to the Dress I have very mixed feelings about getting married. I shouldnt watch them anymore...they make me miss the boy.
-baking bread. tomorrow cookies:)
-exercising. thanks P90X for kicking my butt.
I think I might try and take the bike out for a spin later too. My life is awesome.
Sunday, June 06, 2010
Last night I stuck to my new plan of not having anymore fattening beer and went for a cranberry vodka...apparently I am sensitive to this because it kept me up until 4 in the morning. joy. I just tossed and turned from midnight until 4am when I finally went to sleep. Then I woke up with a back ache from my damn hip hop abs yesterday and a tummy ache from being a girl. So Im a little cranky today.
Plus Im all anxious because I havent talked to the boy since Thursday and not knowing what hes doing stresses me out. Not because I think hes doing something wrong...its just weird because I always know how he is and whats going on and now I dont and it makes me sad and all fussy. Plus, I miss my best friend. cant help it.
Some things that have been making me happy:
-my garden is awesome!!! lettuce, herbs, arugala, chia, carrots, cucumbers, eggplant, peppermint, tomatoes...so fun!
-Ive had all this time to read, currently reading a book about Degas' ballerinas. LOVE. I think I finally have time to join melissas book club because I can read my book choice and the clubs...because I DONT HAVE HOMEWORK ANYMORE SUCKA!!!
-I bought new music!!! I was so excited that I forgot to buy it in LP or CD form so I can share it with friends and now iTunes owns my life. But Ill remember for next time. Its been that long since I bought music. so sad that I forgot my own rules. But im enjoying my new Broken Bells, Black Keys, and The National. Broken Bells is ok I guess, The National wins with Black Keys in a close second. And I keep replaying a Bloc Party song the boy sent to me thats all romanticy.
-I got to see Sex and the City 2 last night and contrary to everyones grumpiness about it, I loved it! I had such a good time seeing it with melissa and friends and I just missed those SATC girls. It made me miss my girls though. and my Big. Someone got a little teary on the drive home. and that someone was me.
ughhhh I feel awful...I only had 2 drinks...Now I remember why i dont drink hard liquor. Red Wine, Im coming back to you!
Wednesday, June 02, 2010
The last 8 months of my life have been nothing but drama. Family drama
mostly, with a big dose of boy drama thrown in. Plus some illness and
school drama to boot. Most of it I didn't feel comfortable writing
about...and still don't. But my life has and is continuing to change
so much since I started this little bloggly blog 4 years ago.
I JUST FINISHED SCHOOL!!!
The thing I've been complaining about all of these years is finally
done! I walked 2 weeks ago but literally just walked out of my last
day of student teaching (had to make up teaching time after my actual
grad walk due to said dramatic illness). It feels amazing to be done
but also scary and overwhelming now that I have to try and find a real
job...and there aren't many to be found. But I'm working really hard
at finding something that pays decently and has lots of vacation time.
oh yeah...and I get to play with cute kiddies all day.
Im working on substitute apps which pay barely enough to survive...and
high scale nanny apps which should be more lucrative and more my
style. If I can't have my own class I don't really want to sub.
Nannying sounds like a blast! I'd get to take my child(ren) on fun
outings, travel with the fam, have more flexible travel time for
myself, exercise and run errands during the day, and actually teach
just in a different setting. So fun. Well see how it comes along:)
The boy and I are still a little dramatic sometimes...but were ok. We
love eachother...it's just really hard when we both have a lot of
stuff going on (more than the average person for sure) and are also
trying to start a relationship. But well figure it out. I'll just go
ahead and say it, he's the love of my life. My best friend. Favorite
person. I have so much hope for us but nervous about where our lives
are taking us.
I need to escape. I need to go on a cruise asap and I'm not kidding.
PLEASE someone come with me!!!
I'll try and get back into the habit of writing now that I'll have a
little more time.
All my love.