Monday, March 24, 2008

things i want to do

currently i really i want to buy a 3 bedroom condo in San Marcos. i want to rent out the other two rooms so i dont have to pay mortgage, and i can have my dogs and maintain the place.

especially because its such a good time to buy.

we'll see what happens.

i want to buy my ticket to Europe!

i want to find Tamara a room mate so i can move out.

i want to eat dinner, im hungry. im going with cassie and her Rick and jordan and jessie to Rubys on the pier. im excited to go, but not excited to be a 5th wheel. i told cassie id find a stranger to be my date and then i wouldnt be a 5th wheel.

today i slept in, watched crappy tv and eat a gross bfast, took the dogs for a long walk in the hottest part of the day (not a good idea BTW), got dressed and came to my parents where i worked on my taxes and did laundry and im watching the HBO special John Adams. its really really good, i promise. i just really like history.


Friday, March 21, 2008

moving out...again...

well last night and todays ive been responding to emails, and calls and interviewing people to come take my place for April 1st. ive seen 3 people, and have another one tonight, and theirs like 4 people who emailed me who could be good potentials too but i dunno if we're going to waste time on them or not since the ones ive seen are pretty good.

its bitter sweet to show the place to these girls and brag about how great it is since i really dont want to move. but i keep trying to think about all the good all the money im going to have now, and all the money ill have for Europe! and how i can take off some time from work if i need to without freaking out about the rent. and how the dogs wont have to be alone all day. and their wont be the train. and ill have free food. and all the TV channels. and my red walls i love.

but ill miss all my space. and big closet. and kitchen. and walks on the beach with the dogs everyday. and watchin TV with Tamara...and just being the adult i already am.

owell, itll be fine.

in other news, its Easter this weekend! i LOVE Easter! i just love that its spring time, and almost summer! and i love Jesus. and family getting together. and wearing my pretty dress. and eating yummy food. its just a really great holiday.

well im posting the note i wrote on facebook about exactly why im moving. just in case you arent my facebook friend and are interested:

facebook post:
"well after the broken heart blog you probably figured it out.

but i finally got to talk to the landlord and she said that the person who complained, was upset because they had to get rid of their dog and didnt think it was fair. its not fair, but it wasnt in the lease i signed and no one seemed to know if pets were allowed or not...and the lady next door with the 5 cats running around all the time kinda threw me off (apparently shes lived there before the no pets rule came into effect a few years ago).

so i tried to propose the idea of having them in dog daycare during the day but with me at night and she said that they arent even supposed to have dogs on the premises or even visit so she had to say no.

so basically i have to move home, the sooner the better.

i was just starting to settle in and have things become routine, and not be nervous about possibly having to move out...and then this happened! well, it was fun while it lasted i guess.

so i thought about just having my parents take care of the dogs until Tamara and i move in May, but it seems like a waste of money since parents will be gone for a month and id have to house sit the dogs and everything there anyway.

so im advertising on craigslist and everything trying to find someone before April 1st or sooner. its looking up since about 6 people have responded since i posted it last night. mostly boys even though i said female preferred, but 2 of the girls sound perfect so ill give them a call today and hopefully something will work out. at first i was REALLY bummed about having to move back home, but now im more ok with it. i wont have to work so much and be so stressed out, and ill have money for Europe! yay! and most importantly, the dogs will be happy with mom all day rather then alone in a cage.

its just so much to happen at once. new job. moving. midterms. im tired.

pray for me.
find me a replacement room mate for tamara.
invite me over to drink and forget our troubles over a glass of wine."

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

broken heart

well last night when roomie got home, she sadly informed me that the landlord called her and said they had 3 complaints about my dogs and that we had to get rid of them. i tried to call her and figure out what exactly the complaints were, but she hasnt called back. im assuming Worms is barking all day while im gone and that the no bark collars arent working.

i was FREAKING OUT. i was really glad i had bought myself some wine because after a glass i calmed down a little and i was able to sleep when i went to bed too. anyway, the thought of getting rid of the dogs makes my heart hurt, even the thought of letting my parents take care of them 24/7 hurts my heart too. as uve probably guessed from my blogs and obsession with my dogs, im more than a little attached to them...they are my best friends (although its is kinda sad that dogs are my best friends, if you had them you would be their best friend too-theyre really lovely). so after some crying and freaking out, i called mom and we're going over our options.

1) let them stay at parents all the time: broken heart and lonely and depressed
2) enroll them in doggy day care while im at work/school: awesome idea, but $40/day which is really expensive for me not working full time
3) drop them off with mom while im at work/school and pick up at night: dont know if parents will go for it, or if the dogs will be happy, if lola will behave, a lot of commuting for me, have to OK this with the landlord that they r with me at night (they dont really bark when im home).

ideally id like option #2 because i know the dogs would LOVE it, but its not really a viable option since i cant afford it even if i had my loan. so im going to try for option #3 for now and then probably move somewhere dog friendly in May and work with Lola and her barking. its sad because she barks because shes lonely and sad, mom works at home so shed be happy there but she still needs to learn to be alone for a little while in her cage because otherwise we'll get nothing done!

besides this HUGE issue, i just finished my last midterm, yay! it was going to be SO hard, but i studied a lot and their was extra credit i know i got right and im sure ill at least get a C so im good with that.

now i just have one 3 hour class until i have off for a week! yay! and then next week i just have wednesday classes and then im off for break! im VERY excited!

ok, i should get to my next class now. uhhhh 3 hour classes should be outlawed. i have no idea why they think we can focus that long when we start at the crack of dawn with our other classes too! crazy college.

theirs all these couples everywhere, its making me sad.

give me advice about my doggies.


Tuesday, March 18, 2008

whats with today, today

well this is going to be a lovely holiday weekend, im really looking forward to it. friday off and im taking monday off too in protest of not having it off.

today im working and its joshs birthday so we're having yummy strawberry margaritas! annies been bored all day so shes driving me nuts, but the boss is gone today so we're having fun now that most of my work is done for the day.

i start my new job so soon! they wanted me to start this weekend, but i just really cant. its not much of a holiday for me if i work those days AND work during the week...itd be like working full time and going to school full time for a week and im not down for it. im just to tired and i miss my friends and wanna play with them this weekend and not work and just rest and be relaxed and happy.

i love easter, its such a special holiday to me. my favorite by far. Jesus is the best!

anyone want my job? its pretty sweet if u like finances. youd be an assistant to a financial advising branch and do all the administration for them. its part time M-F with flex hours according to your schedule. the pay is awesome cause its such a responsible job. lemme know if your interested.

im a lil buzzed, im not gonna lie.

after work i gotta stop at the store, take the doggies for a walk, and then study for fricken linguistics. BLEH. i have a midterm tomorrow i HAVE to do well on and i hardly understand about 50% of everything even though i work my butt off. and then it will be time to cook something yummy and enjoy american idol and then bed.

im just really excited about my holiday weekend, yippie!!!


Friday, March 14, 2008

well its that time of year again

well its that time of year again, when im exhausted and cant go on and their mosquitos everywhere and im antsy to get out of southern california.

luckily todays friday! unluckily i have to go to the bank after work and then drive down to mira mesa cause im watchin the Jacobs house and got 4 doggies there all in need of a walk...maybe ill make them wait until just so damn tired. this morning i could hardly get out of wednesday im typically pretty dead...thursday and friday i dont even know how i function. it sucks to be tired all the time, well at least im getting good practice to when i have children someday...haha.

has anyone noticed the ridiculous amount of mosquitos around lately? in a 4 hour period i killed like 5. (im an expert killer since India). in other bug news, ive been finding all these friggen fleas on my dogs which is SO weird because they never have fleas. and i got flea bites and everything...its so so gross. so i stocked up on medicine for the dogs, and special defoggers and sprays for the backyard and everything, only to find out from room mate that the previous tenants in my room had a flea problem to! they didnt even have dogs! isnt that weird? i think its because my window and our back weed garden is up against a big grassy lot and its been warmer. so between the flea bomb, back yard watering, and dog medicine i think we'll be ok...but its gross. fleas are gross. and it took like 4 days and intense itchy medicine to make my bites stop itching. ok, enough of my bug woes.

im excited to plan Europe with cassie during spring break. i wish my loan would hurry and come through then i wouldnt feel so nervous about making sure i can go. i definitly have enough for the plane and train tickets which are the most expensive and we can book the hostels without money up front so im sure it will all work out. and i havent told my new job im planning this big excursion yet either. i wanted the job! and its still not for sure we're going until i have the plane ticket in my hand! so ha.

today i tell the boss im quitting kinda. im not that nervous, but hes taking forever to get here, arg! im hungry and wanna take my lunch. the girls r supposed to come visit me for lunch when payroll is ready for annie to pick up, but payroll cant be ready until the boss comes...arg.

ok theirs a lawyer who works here and i swear hes insane. he jaunts around the office snapping and stomping "along" to the radio, he walks with these huge strides, he brags about his cases to us, and today hes wearing a Hawaiian shirt opened on top with his chest billowing out. my favorite is whenever theirs a package on the desk or a paper or anything he comes and stares at it to see if its for if we wouldnt give him something. hes so weird. he never answers the phone so people call me complaining about him all the time. it sucks. if i worked all the time like annie does id kill myself.

i got my hair fixed yesterday! it took like 3 hours, but it looks better now. they re-darkened the top as well since it had faded a TON compared to the bottom layer. apparently its because im out in the sun so much with my new walking along the beach fad. because i dont wash my hair a ton and i dont blow dry it or anything usually so it shouldnt have gotten so bad. but i got my hair all re done for free! yay!

New hair at the office:
my hair is so fricken long now, crazy!

i like to call this one "crooked head" or "one to many pictures of your hair you weirdo"worms.

i think this particular blog is a great example of why we're friends. i am seriously weird and u still read my blog and r my friend. that is love.



i need myself one of these. minus the fur and eldery fellow.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008


well today i found out about the job! its going to be AMAZING! i got an exact job description, which is so SO perfect for me, and my payment plan which i was really worried about because i didnt know if i would make enough money with them.

so im going to work with the childrens ministry director tuesdays and fridays and half day on sundays. and im going to make my budget perfectly but thats without taxes being taken out so im thinking of still doing reception work on thursdays. itd be flexible so i could take off thursdays if needed, and good for me to have that day to do all my homework so saturday and half of sunday are real days off. annie mentioned maybe just every other thursday, but itd be nice to have extra money...i dunno yet about that. me and annie and doug r going to have a meeting on thursday and discuss. either way, id be done with financial advising stuff (i think) and that makes me happy:) but im thinking doug will still have me do some stuff for him OR train annie to do things! so either way its going to work out great!

this weekend im house/dog sitting at uncle dan and titi josis! its going to be kinda silly with my dogs AND their huge dogs. but my girls are used to being in their cage during the day anyway and ill just keep the cage in my room. and the big dogs r gonna be outside in the evening while im home so the little girls can romp around the house with me. its going to be kinda crazy, but itll be fun and ill have a big huge house all to myself! hopefully some of my besties will come play with me to.

today i got to talk to my mom and kelsey and olivia all in one day! it was the best! i miss my friends, they live to far away for my liking.

my current evening:

Saturday, March 08, 2008

new job update!

i got the job! YAY! they want me to start ASAP, but of course i need to leave on a good note with Doug. and im a little concerned because they arent going to pay me enough i think...i may still have to stay with doing reception work 1 day a week anyway. arg!

so everythings going to get figured out next week and then ill be all squared away. i just really want it to work out. they want me to work tuesdays and fridays and sunday mornings of course. so id have monday and wednesday at school and saturday sabbath and thursdays and sundays for homework...BUT i might have to find work for thursdays to make enough money to live. we'll see what happens.

today i slept mostly all day. i didnt get home until late last night and im already so tired all the time. so i slept in until about 12...i got up twice to take the dogs out and answer the phone...but otherwise all sleep:) and then i took a nap again for an hour in the evening before going to micahs art show. and now its 11pm and im ready to go back to bed!

tomorrow i think im hanging out with the family and attempting my mounds of really like to get it all done and not have any during the week...but we'll see. im so tired people, i just need to sleep for a week and never go to school again...

someone find me a mountain man please, i need to marry him.

Friday, March 07, 2008

so im still reeling from yesterday and its making getting things done really difficult. not to mention my brain is just totally dead and i dont think i can make it do homework anymore. i feel like this week took forever to get done with...seriously, each day felt like a million years. finally its friday and its still going by so slowly. i have so much homework this weekend its not even funny. sunday will be spent doing homework, monday night, tuesday night...basically my entire life consists of this exact schedule:

6am wake up and take dogs for a walk on the beach (yay!)
730am leave for school or 830am leave for work
830-4 school or 9-5 work
5 take dogs for walk
6 make food for dinner and next days lunch
7 watch tv and do homework
11pm crawl into bed cursing my life

isnt that fun? dont you wish u were a crazy student too? you get to have NO extracurricular activities and hate ur life! yay! but it will be better with a new fun job and school will settle down again...its just mid terms season. and someday ill be happy again and my blog wont be so depressing.

BTW, now job hasnt called yet. ive been by my phone 24/7 waiting for the its almost 2pm and im worried! im wondering if i should call or send a thank u note or what?! i just dont know! it really would be a nice uplifting note to my dreary day and feelings.

tonight im going out to dinner with my whole family to the four seasons for a fancy seafood buffet! we're celebrating my mom and dad and titi Josi's birthdays, and lukey will be there, and mike my cousin is visiting from Michigan to! im really excited. i made some sweet presents for them. its going to be lovely, I've actually been looking forward to it all week!

i know i gush about my dogs a lot, but they really are the funnest. i got them these bones to chew on while im at work and school all day, and they LOVE them. we'll be all settled in for bed and im trying to sleep and lola will get out of bed and go get her bone and bring it back up to chew on it some more...after shes already chewed it all day. and her and bella steal them from each other and lola looses hers and tries to steal bellas but she growls at her, and finally i had to put the bones in their cage so they couldnt get to them while we're trying to sleep. but then lola started crying cause she wanted it so much...they're just so funny and keep me really entertained.

ok, now for my friday fun survey to take my mind off life:
1. I by the beach, its my new favorite!

2. Right now I want...a friend to call me and give me advice and care about me

3. I feel like...really tired and kinda groggy and i just want to crawl in a ball with my doggies and take a well deserved nap

4. I hate it boss asks me to do things i dont understand, which is a regular occurrence

5. I fear...being alone forever, going to jail, getting raped

6. I'm lonely besties, i try and see them every weekend as much as possible, because otherwise im sad

7. I need...people to be nice to me, im delicate.

8. Today I...woke up early to take the dogs, but was to tired so i slept for an extra 30min instead, then i got ready for work, then ive been at work trying to get HW done but my brains dead

9. Tomorrow I'm...SLEEPING IN!!! a little homework, then probably doing something with the family or cassie...i dunno

10. I just...really need to have this day be over so i can relax and re juice for next week! im so done!

11. I want to meet...audrey hepburn...if she was still alive -sad face-

12. I'm hungry for...nothing, i just ate a salad and some tofu thing i made and girl scout cookies, im stuffed!

13. I love it when...annie and dave wear their golf shorts on the same day to work. its THE BEST

14. I'm afraid of...getting kicked out of my apartment for having dogs, not finding a room mate when tamara moves to london, not being able to afford europe, failing my linguistics class, dropping dead from exhaustion

15. I'm listening to...the birds outside:) the door is open and its real nice

16. I'm wearing...casual friday clothes. jeans and a nice black shirt and a black sweater

17. I wish I was in...europe with cassie right now...maybe at the duomo in florence or something lovely like that.

18. I'm craving...a diet coke. but ive only had 2 in like 2-3 weeks and they were special occasions so im doing pretty good!

19. I want to get...and iphone so so so SO badly. it like hurts me how much i want one

20. I can...cook! who knew?

21. I can', its painful and not a pretty sight. and it doesnt make me feel good.

22. I have...a nose piercing. i love it. ive had it awhile, youd think the love would fade but it hasnt.

23. I haven't...eaten red meat in a LONG time

24. I'm nervous my ticket to europe unsure if ill have the rest of the money by july

25. My Mom thinks I'm...overcommitted

26. My Dad thinks I'm...overcommitted

27. I overcommitted

28. I'm happy with my besties all snuggled up in bed with dogs and laughter

29. I'm sad alone for to long and no one cares about me

30. I like eating...eggplant. weird right, buts its totally my new favorite and i cant eat it enough. just think, u can buy one for like $2 and slice it and put some olive oil on the slices, cook on 400 degree for 15min and make like 4 sandwiches from it. and its SO good! they melt in your mouth!

31. I hate eating...meat on a bone. i wont do it. it freaks me out.

32. I love watching...old arrested development episodes, they never cease to entertain me

33. I love listening to...folk. it just relaxes me which i really need, and refreshes my heart.

34. I like playing...scrabulous and beating all my aunts, mwahaha

35. I hate waking up to...the train, which is sadly my life now. but ive gotten pretty used to it already. i dont like waking up to lola licking her hoo-ha...thats probably the worst.

36. I can see...the box of girl scout cookies with a retarded girl on it. seriously, thin mints girl has some issues.

37. I'm glad that...i have a job where i get paid to do surveys

38. I'm disappointed that...i havent heard from my new job yet. my friends suck. i have so much homework.

39. I look one really, i look like me

40. I wish I looked like...kate hudson, i think shes beautiful and all bohemian and amazing.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

grumpy mcgrumperson

so today has been both lovely and dreadful all at the same time. weird how that happens sometimes. im not comfortable going into detail about y it was dreadful because it doesnt need to be known all over the world about me and my friends issues...but kelsey you should probably call me before i have a mental breakdown.

on the up side i had an interview with the childrens ministry director today about my dream job. shes so lovely! shes still pretty young like me and im pretty sure we have the same personality type. as she was describing what my job would be it really does sound PERFECT for me! i would basically be her assistant. childrens ministry is a HUGE job especially since their childrens programs at the church are pretty green and shes only been there a few weeks. so i would be doing administrative work supporting the ministry, as well as helping out with the programs on sundays and saturday nights. I would be her right hand woman and fill in if shes gone or something as well. without even knowing me really she asked if i happened to have any musical theatre experience. OMG r u kidding?!

so as she was telling me about it, it sounded exactly like my old childrens ministry job mixed with my current job of assisting. i really feel like God has prepared me for this! and her and the staff sound really excited about me- such a good sign! so apparently i should be receiving a call anytime about the next steps. but i still dont know what they want to pay me which concerns me since that kinda a big deal. but even today my boss pulled some crap with me that made me just want to go work anywhere else. i always work fridays as the receptionist and he told me that i have good friday off but that annie gets the vacation pay for it because shes "full time" she doesnt even normally work fridays! um hello, what am i supposed to do for rent now dude?

and im almost positive he likes annie more than me. that was just the icing on the cake. i mean, i dont care who he likes more or not but it just annoys me that he would be so obvious about it. tool.

sorry, im really grumpy and i think i just need to go home and take my babies for a walk and watch american idol and LOST and cook and forget about life.

i miss cassie and olivia and kelsey a lot. i wish i had friends.

Monday, March 03, 2008


ok this weekend was one of the most tiring weekends ive ever had...and i know tired, im pretty much tired ALL the time anyway.

so yesterday i went to the church to check it out. i have to say im pretty sure im going to take the job. its a really nice church. they are currently even redoing everything because the church has grown so much they r enlarging the children and student areas. they're beautiful! they were finishing up a 4 week series about SEX. which is amazing to me that they would talk about it with the entire congregation...thats so different from normal conservative churches. so i was immediately impressed with that. and the worship was good and modern and most importantly the congregation was really into it singing and really worshippin God. i definitely felt the Holy Spirit chillin with everyone. then the executive pastor took me around and introduced me to everyone and showed me all the buildings and people. they all knew who i was and were really excited to meet me! that was a good sign! they said they had heard so much about me! yay! their childrens program and the new childrens director are AMAZING! it was probably the coolest childrens program ive ever seen! i kinda wanted to join in...seriously.

so he asked me to pray about it and call him on tuesday or wednesday with how i want to progress. that sounds like i got offered the job right?

so heres how i feel about it. im struggling with feeling like...takin a job at an ultra wealthy upper white class church like that totally goes against what i believe. BUT at the same time, this is where i grew up. this is my people group. these people and kids need Jesus too...even more so because they think they have everything they need cause they think they're perfect and dont need God. so im convincing myself that im not a sell out. and to not be embarrassed. and to make a difference with where God has offered me.

moving after church went well. it was A LOT of work and im pretty sure i never EVER want to move again. but it was mostly books and clothes so unpacking went quickly. i was suprised with how many clothes i have and bags and shoes. i had 2 bags of stuff to donate and 2 bags of trash. crazy! mom helped me unpack a lot! so now i just have a few more boxes and the curtains and i need to put my pictures and stuff up.

wormy slept with me last night. she was SO good! i was suprised! but today when i left she was crying a little in her cage (i figured she would be nervous in a new place all alone), and i got all nervous about the neighbors, but i could hardly hear her outside the bedroom door and when i left i realized the neighbors were all at work anyway! yay!

this morning i woke up early and took wormy for a walk along the beach. 2 blocks from my house! she loved it and it will help her sleep while im gone and she got to go potty. and i loved it. i like walking along flat roads...especially along the ocean!

ok. i gotta go days r crazy! tonight i have to pick up bella so tonight is going to be more eventful im sure. i need to buy her a no-bark collar too.

so i should definitely take the job right?!

im loving my life even tho im so so tired!


Sunday, March 02, 2008

10 minutes

in the ten minutes i have before i go off to a day that will change my life forever, i wanted to write u all a blog. sounds somewhat dramatic but its true.

today i move out like a big girl for real! im taking my dogs...which will be very discombobulated for quite a few taking the taking the craziness of living on my own! ive gone away for long periods of time month in 2004 to india...2 months in the summer of 06 for lecture phase of my YWAM discipleship training school...and almost another 2 months for India YWAM its not like ive ever been away from home before. but this is for real! im glad im not moving to a different city or something quite yet. baby steps.

also today im on the next step of a job interview that could also change my life. i think i mentioned im attending the church i want the job at. im not sure if we're going to meet or anything after the service...i kinda doubt it since the guy whos interviewing me and everything has sundays off so he probably wont want to work on his day off? but ill probably check out the childrens meeting. and more importantly ill be attending the main service and seeing what its all about. im sure its the same kind of church as the ones ive attended around here. it seems like a place id like if not still a little too white upper class for me. but hey, thats where i live. theirs no getting around it. i cant explain how much my heart flutters when i think about this job. its so where my heart is. where my passions are. it almost seems like freedom from the job i currently have which is ok, but not my calling or require any of my interests besides the small part of me that loves admin work...but thats not what i want to do ALL day about something i dont care about! bleh!

every morning after the dogs wake me up at 7ish am to go to the bathroom, we all get back into bed and snuggle. even bella who normally doesnt like it. then while im getting ready they go back to sleep for awhile. currently, bella has her tongue out and is conked out on her blanket, and worms is sleeping with all her feet touching my leg so she knows where i am. im still not sure what to do about tomorrow. its going to be scary for them when i leave them in the new place all day alone. worms will be in her house, but i know bella will be upset and i dont want her pottying in the house because she cant find the door or whatever...anyway, this next week is going to be interesting.

im so sad i didnt get to kelsey this weekend! i was really looking forward to laying in bed with her and some dogs and catching up. stupid moving. i literally did not stop packing from 10am-10pm yesterday. so so tired.

ok friends. its 9am. time for my big day.

wish me lots of luck and energy and if u believe in prayer then give some up for me!