Wednesday, August 29, 2012

I'm Back!

I've been dying to write lately!!!!

So much has been on my heart and mind, I keep making mental notes Oh, I should write about this because I know it makes me feel better (and keeps you entertained apparently) but I've been so overwhelmed with work and getting a handle on another new schedule...where to fit in cooking and exercising...maintaining my long distance and appointments- it's never ending. Sadly, I don't think it's getting better any time soon, but I am working to get a better handle on things at work and am making time to take care of myself so I don't go completely crazy.

I feel like I've been on overdrive since graduating high school. Every semester of college was stressful and busy while I maintained school full time and worked part time...then the teaching program which was a nightmare...then the years of SUCK...then moving to Europe and adjusting to life back and adjusting to another new career and way of life again. It's felt like constant upheaval with bouts of relief of travel sprinkled here and there.

I've recently begun to freak out a little.

Is this how its always going to be? Constantly running around stressing about a long long list of things to do that are all important. Work is like that all day and after work has always felt the same way. The routines I create are dashed within a few months and I have to start all over again. No wonder I'm burnt out on life and resort to alcoholism. I see these people doing fun things on the weekends all the time or if go ANYWHERE in socal in the middle of the day and its packed...don't you have jobs? How do you have time/energy to do all of this right now? By the time I have a chance to sit down- I'm exhausted everyday (even though I eat healthy and exercise!).

All of that to say I've realized my passion is writing but I don't have time for it. And when I say that I don't have time- I mean it (I'm yawning right now and its only 7:30pm). But since this IS my passion, and I've realized that it's something I'd rather be doing instead of my day job for realsies...I am going to try my DAMNEDEST to make it work- even if it means staying up late some nights. Because apparently thats what we do for things we are passionate about.

More to come.



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