Wednesday, August 29, 2012

It's All Happening.

Holy Crap.

It's September.

I turn into a mommy and pre-wife in 3 short months.

THREE MONTHS to buy all of our kitchen stuff...organize my shit in the garage...lose 30lbs...find an apartment...get a new car...prepare to be MUMMIFIED (yeah thats right- that just happened).

Perhaps not surprisingly I find myself flip flopping from being SO EXCITED to freaking out every other day. There's been more then one whine to boyfriend,

but I'm just afraid somethings going to happen and we are going to be stressed out and you're going to leave meeeeee

All said very fast and high pitched. To which he replies something to the tune of:

quit being crazy. I love you- ya nut. 

I think boyfriends should consider just recording this and replaying it for us every time we hit our crazy button again.

Nothing between us has gotten any less lovely, I think our long time a part just has me worrying if it will translate to when we are actually together again. Which is understandable. I was the same way before we saw each other in June but I remember being with him and our little buddy and could not remember EVER being that happy ever in my life. And it just lasted for days and days. The entire time we kept looking at each other and saying, "BABY- WE GET TO DO THIS FOREVER?!" Fast forward to us wisely choosing to live with each other once he's here...but now that we've been a part for 3 months...and have only 3 more months to go, of course the doubts on occasion are settling in. But whats worse is imagining us trying to manage the move and our lives and not be living together. After being a part for so long I can't imagine not waking up with him everyday, we've been starved of any physical affection for A YEAR. I somehow don't think I'll mind being flooded with it all at once...of course it'll be an adjustment, but a good one.

However, as much as I am dying for him to be here- I am trying to appreciate the last of my single lady status too. Enjoying getting ready in the morning quietly and with no one groping me the entire time (which although fun and hilarious, while trying to get out the door for work? Maybe not always), being able to do whatever I want to after work and on weekends and don't have to consult with anyone about it or arrange for child care, spending extra money on myself and not household or baby needs, etc.

Learning so many lessons about appreciating where I am in life at the present moments.

God has me at this job, living with my parents, waiting for my love...all for a reason.

Time to dig in and engage in everything happening around me instead of waiting for this magical time when my love will be here, we'll have our own place, some job thats not stressful and I love all at the same time! These things will all happen eventually, but I need to work on being happy where I am now. 

Gosh it's just so tough sometimes.



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