Monday, March 04, 2013

It's Been Awhile...

By the ever wonderful Kurt Halsey

I have wanted to come and pour out my heart, truly I have! And there isn't even an excuse of time since my love is still working evenings and mine are spent laying around watching British dramas and making Trader Joe's dinners. So there isn't a proper excuse other than the breadth of all I feel I'd have to say. And how draining it makes me feel. So I don't even begin.

However, my boss is running late so I am snatching away 15 minutes this morning so try and get back in the game. I miss writing. I miss the time. Hopefully this will kick start me back into the routine of it.

Things are very much the same. His work schedule is still really hard on us and I am still crying here and there throughout the week. Usually Sunday afternoon when he leaves and I know I won't see him again for 5 days, and Thursday evening when I go to bed alone again and just can't take it anymore. I don't think the time apart and alone is really as difficult as the weekends seem to be. We have Friday evening through Sunday afternoon together each week. We don't really want to see anyone else and there isn't enough time to go away for the weekend, take a day trip on Saturday (since he needs to stay on his sleep schedule) to do something, or even see other friends and family who miss us. The last two weekends have been bombarded with invitations to girls nights, boys nights, family nights, etc that we can't deny and want to attend...but then its hurts our time together. And the left behind person gets upset and lonely knowing their love is somewhere else. I know it's better then him being deployed or away in Brazil like last year- this I know. But our little time together is so pressured. And I just feel sad. This is not how it is supposed to be. You aren't supposed to be away from your love like this. It'd almost be easier if he worked away for weeks but then was HOME when he was home and we could be together. It'd be about the same. Except we wouldn't get to sleep next to each other for 3 hours at night. Which isn't very exciting.

So I finally broke down and decided to ask for a half day on Friday's from work. It's been a month and is only getting worse, not better, and I feel like I should take advantage of my flexible work environment while I can. Then at least we'd have Friday afternoons off together and could do things on the weekend if we liked and just the 5 hours more together AWAKE would make such a difference. I don't know why I feel so nervous to ask!

Furthermore, we want to do premarital counseling, some cool couples retreats the base offers and any regular doctors appointments or government hour errands I need to run don't get done unless I take a half day here and there. Why not just have this planned time?

In other news I am still moving my ass and loving my new fitness routine. I literally can't believe my energy levels and how good I feel. If anything it is really helping with the stress and need to stay moving and keep busy while dealing with this change in our lives. Even working out 4 days a week I have only lost 2.5lbs in the last few weeks, but weigh in and take new measurements again Wednesday and expect some more. I'll be honest, choosing non processed, lean proteins, low-carb foods is easier than I thought it'd be. This is the easiest "diet" I've ever been on, which is good since it's not really a diet. Just a life change that's been in the works for a number of years. Slowly but surely cutting out icky things until we've gotten here (except on special occasions and some meals so as not to starve myself of things I like and risk falling off the band wagon entirely). I also broke down and quit cooking full on meals and just get the Trader Joe's semi prepared meals. Their salads and wraps for lunches with a fresh avocado, and fresh marinated lean meats and vegetables for dinner. Throw in some protein shakes for breakfast, nuts, and fruit for snacks and that's pretty much all we eat. Literally our fridge is a pile of salads for each of us hehehe. My stress level from meal planning and preparing went from a 10 to ZERO. Plus our food budget somehow comes up less and less each week too. I even found goat cheese filled ravioli there one carby night for this cow milk allergic lady! I really want to lose a significant amount of weight to at least be where I was a few years ago, but slow and steady wins the race I suppose.

Currently MOVING: 4x/week. 2 miles a day, running 1/2 mile of it. Strength training 3x/week following the run/walk. Arms, chest/back, legs. Killing it.



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