And I thought that was bad.

SO. I thought last week was the worst week of my life. Boy, was I sadly mistaken. This has been such a ridiculous week that I cant help but laugh (while crying of course) as things continue to go wrong.

TO BEGIN WITH. Remember why I was so stressed out last week? Trying to get my HUGE teacher performance assessment (TPA) done along with all my other school work. It was a wretched week. It took at least 10 hours, probably more. Plus 2 seminars I had to go to for it. It was due Monday at midnight and I finished Sunday evening! yay me! But after I had spent all this time copying and pasting my answers into the little boxes (seriously took an hour), and tried to click submit...it says the form was from last year? So I had to sign up again. and re-paste everything in, again. so then when I went to hit "submit", it says I have to be approved first. I did get approved Monday, so all I had to do was log on and click submit. thats all I had to do. But who is stressed out and forgot? And even if they had remembered it wouldn't have mattered because our internet was down because the cable just happened to be getting worked on that night. THIS IS MY LIFE.
SO NOW.
SO NOW.
I had to get a cashiers check for $85 freaking dollars and fill out a special form and take it to school and drop it off so I can submit it late. Yep, thats right. Im paying $85 to submit something late that I had done a full 24 hours before. 12 hours worth of work. yep.

So that was the beginning of my Tuesday. Panic and anger over the TPA. Great. Tuesday also happened to be the day I was supposed to hear from Teach for America. I was hoping this would make me happier. Also, sadly mistaken. Not only did I not get placed in NY, I didn't get placed ANYWHERE. I was somehow not accepted into the Teach for America program at all. Most of you know this already. It was awful. I got the email toward the end of my day teaching and had to try and keep it together for the rest of the day...then as I was finally walking to my car the tears started to fall...then as soon as I was in my car it was serious cry fest 2009. I still catch myself thinking "oh when you move to NY...oh wait..." it really sucks. I couldn't figure out why they wouldn't accept me. I am already a teacher!!! I already work in low socio economic schools!!! My interview day was fabulous! I just don't understand. This is why I am cynical. This is why I try not to look forward to things, because they never work out and life is just a bitch. So now I don't know what I'm going to do after graduation. and part of the reason I was so upset is because of that. It was just a lot of emotions. You plan for something and are so excited about it, and then BOOM. Nothing. Arg.

So that was my day. But don't worry. It keeps going. My week of shit. My dearest Number 2 offered to take me out that night to make me feel better, he told me to pick a movie and maybe we'll get a drink, just something casual. So I chose Couples Retreat because I just wanted to laugh and everything else looked lame or scary. So we were having a great time, laughing some, it was just getting good, WHEN THE MOVIE STOPPED WORKING. Yeah. just stopped. So they gave us free tickets for another movie and told us to wait a bit for it to come back on. 30 minutes later we were informed that it was broken for good and gave us our money back. yeah, that was my day. So we went and talked and I drank good beer and it was nice. It made me feel better just to be with him. He makes me so happy. so at least that was good.

The next day Number 2 heard from Notre Dame. he got an interview for their MBA program. Try being excited for your favorite person when you just got rejected and when it means they will potentially be moving across the country. Yeah, its pretty awesome and not at all taxing on ones emotions.

then yesterday. yesterday i sat in traffic all the way from small school to my college to drop off the freaking $85 and form. I finally get there, park, am ready to walk the long walk to the office...BUT DONT WORRY. I FORGOT THE MONEY AND FORM AT HOME. yep. this is my life.

So my heart is just exhausted. Plus, things with Number 2 are getting complicated. Things just hurt right now. But this weekend looks promising...
-last night had wine night with Melissa-so fun!
-tonight we're also getting my favorite Thai food.
-after dinner Number 2 and I might meet up for something fun.
-tomorrow I was going to visit Kelsey, but I don't think I can:( I have to go to a -museum for school and then Micah and I are going to see the Fantastic Mr. Fox (I love Wes Anderson!).
-Then Sunday morning is brothers birthday breakfast at a fancy restaurant in Del Mar with the whole family!

Things are looking up.

I'm still sad. I have still been crying every night a little. I think I just need time to be sad about everything. This sucks.

I know it will be ok. I know I will figure it out. I don't feel bad about myself. I just feel...sad.


I still love you NY.