Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Around the Corner.

Last night boyfriend finally had a productive conversation with baby mama, its been two weeks of just RIDICULOUSNESS right out of the trailer park, and she finally agreed to let us have the baby once boyfriend is here until she gets her shit together...which will probably never happen...so we might end up with quite a bit of custody in the long run (yay!). And this means. In about 9 months (ironic?) I will pretty much be a momma. He'll be about 2.5 by then.


Now I tend to be more realistic about these thing in that until this is ON PAPER and notarized with lawyers and the whole deal, I can't really fully wrap my head around it or make actual plans. Because come on, we're dealing with a crazy person here, but still. Some days I get really freaked out about it and that my life is going to end, but most days I just can't wait. Told you my biological clock has been ticking. And boyfriend is just over the moon about the whole thing and about me to boot. We both agree that God had to be the only one who orchestrated the two of us into finding each other. Nothing about us could be more perfect. A year ago we were both whoring around Bratislava, and now we're head over heels in love and SO EXCITED about having a family together...buying a house...just everything. Nothing is completely figured out, we have more than vague ideas of what we want to do, where we want to live, etc...but being in the military and then afterwards working for the government means we could end up living anywhere. Which forces me to just take it month by month.

But still.

Preparing to be a sort of momma to a baby I am about to meet in a few days is a BIG deal.

Is this why God gave me such a mothering heart for all children and particularly for adoption?

We're already trying to be proactive about planning our weeks so we each still have time with friends, our family, alone time, and just with each other. Balancing it all seems impossible. We might hire a nanny...which I find ironic as I was just applying for those jobs 6 months ago. As always, I have this serious need to be a fabulous mom. I've been observing how amazing mommas do it over the years, their tricks into staying amazing in simple and quick ways. I've somewhat already adopted a simple, stylish, and season transferable wardrobe...am honing an obsession with my crock pot and quick meals. Plus, trying to get into somewhat of a cleaning routine. I just don't want to be thrown in and burn out. Trying to be as prepared as possible. Trial run in a few days, oh man. We have the baby for 4 days/nights. Couldn't be happier.

So many things.

But for now I am just counting down until I get to be kissed and hugged again, after 5 months of missing the love of my life. (Snuggling with baby cakes at a petting zoo comes in second.)



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