Wednesday, April 30, 2008

still

still stressed out about my life.
still exhausted.
still overwhelmed with how much i have to do in the next 2 weeks.

cleaned my house a little today. tomorrow the cleaning lady comes and im SO EXCITED. the house has been almost unlivable for about a month. you can see the dirt piles on all the floors. i didnt even want to cook in the kitchen anymore...bleh. i moved back into my room today too. i finally put up my posters and things so its like i actually live here again.

i dont know what to do about next semester. im at such a crossroads. i dont want to constantly be stressed out for the next 2 years+, but i also dont want to leave my friends and have wasted this year on classes i didnt need. im concerned that im going to make the decision to leave my program right now only because im stressed out right now... but really, ive felt like this all semester. i just dont like my major or the teaching program. i just want to work with kids and teach them things, it doesnt have to be for the state. i want to teach art mostly or theatre or music or work in a childrens library reading stories and doing puppets for the kids...theres so many jobs i can think of that I would love to do besides being a stinkin teacher...im just so tired for fighting so hard to do something im only half hearted into. tomorrow i meet with my advisor, shes crazy and kinda mean sometimes so im not looking forward to meeting with her...yet another reason why im over my program. we have ONE advisor and shes totally weird and too busy to ever meet.

my parents come home in less than a week, im excited. i miss them and im sick of brothers loud playstation playing all night. and im sick of the dogs waking me up at 630am everyday...mom usually helps me with them throughout the day, by myself is a lot of work. especially since Worms is insane.

im excited tomorrow is Thursday! its my sleep in, homework, appointment, errand day. mostly homework though. i have SO much to do tomorrow its not even funny.

today was rough. i was supposed to go to school for 830a to meet with my movie partner, but i just couldnt get out of bed. my entire body hurt and i didnt technically have to be at school until 1130a. so i cancelled and got some more sleep but the rest of the day i was still a zombie and had to take ibprofun for my body and headache. i get this weird body and headache whenever i dont get enough sleep and/or im stressed out. so i came home and cleaned and then napped and rested for an hour or so. i immidiately started to feel better as soon as i let myself lay down and quit worrying about all the homework and papers and projects i have to do tomorrow.

i need to get my oil changed...theres just no time!

im reading this awesome book about the artist Klimt. my parents brought his work home for the house and a calendar for me and i just love him. the book is from the perspective of his protegee and kind of his muse/best friend/kinda lover? shes the girl in his most famous painting. he was a total weirdo guy who painted all these semi-scandalous pictures, but hes amazing! he was from Vienna so im hoping to see some of his work while me and cass r there.

ok, off to read my book.
thats him and her. this is painted using gold leafs too! incredible!

this came up in google. i will now go dream about owning this phone. ...*sigh*

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