Wednesday, June 15, 2011


Two weeks ago we had school pictures taken of the kids wearing these cute little Slovensko hockey jerseys. The Kinder team took a fun one together, all the staff together, etc. It was horribly hot, and because everything in Europe is like a million years old, of course we don't have A/C or even properly opening I can blame some of this on it being humid and hot...and also that it was Friday and I tend to look and feel pretty dead by then anyway...but when we got the pictures back yesterday I almost cried.
Ok fine, I did cry.

I didn't realize how much weight I've gained in the last year, particularly in the last few months. I mean, I have legit reasons. My life has been EXTREMELY stressful in the last year...sometimes I'm surprised I didn't have a nervous breakdown. Then I moved to a foreign country to work my first full time job as a vegan/vegetarian in a country that doesn't even know what that means and has ZERO labels in English. So I need to cut myself some slack. But I just suddenly feel so horrible about myself. And if we're being honost, it's only around 10lbs or less that I've gained...but on my little body thats a lot. And I've always been "overweight" to begin with.

So, I've been pretty emotional yesterday and today. And then my boss is being a dick and making me switch with the current 4th grade teacher for a day and is going to observe me because I'll be teaching those kids in 5th grade next year. I tried to explain how strange that is to me since, you know, I'm an IN HOUSE HIRE, but he wasn't having it. I even have the school director on my side. So instead of more bitching, I'm just going to suck it up and do it next week. It's going to stress me out, stress out my kids, co-teachers, and the 4th grade girl who will take my place...and is pointless, but FINE, I'll even graciously accept your critiques while secretly wishing you'd shove them up your ass.

Plus, I fucked up my back sleeping weird the last 2 nights, have hardly heard from Africa due to his busyness, and am just so cranky!!!!

So it might just be time to read my stupid diet book and watch some Game of Thrones before I officially bite someones head off.

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