Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Hey Life, Thanks For All The Shit.

Well one moment she agreed to everything for the half custody. We just needed her to sign the paper. The next minute she refused to sign or let him have him at all and our lawyer said to go through the courts will cost $1600- which we don't have. Plus she wouldn't even be served papers until January after the holidays...too late for him to come with us. The lawyer was also honest and said with what we have on her we couldn't get full custody- we need more dirt. But we at least want half and then in a few years could show we offer him a better life and get him for the school years.

I think the boyfriends heart has literally broken in half. He is so depressed he doesn't even want to move. Our last option, file for her stealing his identity and hope she gets arrested (that sounds horrible, but it's the name of the game. And it's all true) will be what he tries to do today. Which I had to make him get his ass up and out of depression long enough to do.

I can't tell you how painful it's been. I keep walking by his bedroom and tear up saying good bye to the memories we were planning on building with him. Now it hurts too much to even think about it all. It also puts all of our life plans on hold. I refuse to save for a wedding and engagement ring when the baby is our priority. Not to mention furnishing the rest of the apartment, paying off my debt, and the new car I desperately need. It frustrates me we have no one to help us. I feel so alone. And jealous of my friends that have parents who paid for these big weddings, new cars, new furniture, school, etc. None of their moms had cancer which wiped out their family savings. Boyfriends parents aren't any better off, in fact he gives them a little money each month. So here we are. Two love birds stuck in the brambles.

Suddenly a court house wedding seems so attractive.

I am so thankful I found the love of my life. And I am excited for our life together. But at the same time days like this make it so hard. This isn't the life I imagined for myself...fighting for custody, police departments, money problems...etc. And yet, here we are.

I am praying so much for Jesus to intervene right now. So much.



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