What Can I Say?

Roomie captured the magic.

So something happened and I brought a boy home last night.

Yeah I know, two one night stands in two weekends= WHO AM I?!

But there was a beautiful African man seducing me at the club (different from the one Thursday night that I kissed, obviously) and we danced and danced and he was kissing my neck and arms all seductively and "purring" in my ear- which is apparently some precious African thing. They say the lions lick you up and down and then purr in your ear...trust me, its awesome.

I was tired and it was 4am so I invited him back to my place...at first I was just planning on taking it slow and maybe just making out and stuff. But then...oh man, lets just say he is very good at what he does. And PS this is why I now choose black guys every time, they take a lot of time to please a woman and take it really seriously. Plus, they tend to be romantic...I mean, he took my bra off with his teeth. And then would massage my neck and head throughout the entire evening. Major points.

Actually, I don't think this is going to be a one night stand as much as the other one was. Africa lives in Bratislava and is going to school here for engineering. He's lived in the states a lot before and his English is really good...he also speaks French, Arabic, Slovak, his tribal language, and is taking Spanish right now as well. It was nice to speak Spanish with someone actually. So, he's intellectual and is going to school to focus on solar technology to bring back to Africa. We chatted about history and Africa and all kinds of things last night and today. He wanted to make sure I added him on facebook and was already talking about coming back here to give me an "African Massage" and to make me dinner...because yeah, he cooks too. My roomie had one of our friends over last night too...they're having a little mini romance...so this morning we were all hanging out in our knickers and it was just really lovely. I made Africa and I toast with nutella and tea and we had breakfast in bed before he had to go because he had Easter plans with a family here. I don't really see this going anywhere long term, but we had a nice time and he is REALLY sweet...and an excellent lover.

Side note: I think I kind of realized it at the time, but it's even more evident now that I've been with other people- the connection I had with PAG and even with Number 2 as being so rare. Sexual energy and having nice conversation with a man is one thing, but the click is entirely another. Although anything intimate is just FUN with almost anyone, with those two it was really like making something beautiful together. And the communication, connection, and emotion together just manifested into this lovely sexual intimacy. I know I am currently acting out because I have been sexually deprived for a very very long time, I am hurt, and because I am craving intimacy with a man. I also know it will pass with time and I will go back to being my normal "waiting for the right guy" kind of girl. I definitely don't want to be one of those girls who always sleeps around and rips her heart a part. Plus, sex hurts and I'm always all sore for days afterwards.

So we'll see what happens with Africa, maybe he'll call and make us dinner and give me a massage-or maybe he won't and I'll just go on with my fabulous life. Either way, I am pretty much happy. I'd rather have PAG in my life at this point and am still missing him, but we're moving on and I am trying to believe there is someone better out there for me. Meanwhile, having some proper sex is really nice.

xoxo

HL

Further Thoughts On The One Night Stand...

source.

I decided that next time (if there is a next time, we'll see how my life progresses) I will bring them to my flat where my room mate is across the apartment so as not to hear everything, but close enough so if I shout that I am being raped she can come rescue me.

I decided that I need to buy myself condoms, for the first time (They always just had them!). Keep a box in my night stand and 1-2 in my wallet just in case. London and I could have gone quite a few more times if we had more condoms, and there aren't any 24 hour stores here so this is a must.

It might be wise of me to not rush into sex straight away and prolong the evening a bit...maybe even have an entire weekend or a few week fling to build up to sex and get to know said stranger a bit better. Turned out London used to deal drugs, shot a guy, spent a year in jail, and had slept with a lot of women...things that may have been helpful to know before we had sex. If it makes you feel any better, he told me his whole life story all night like I was his best friend and referred to it as his "old life" so I wasn't worried...however looking back, probably would have been wise to chill a bit. Or hang out more the next day and weekend. Or just not go home with total strangers and build up some rapport with someone before I have sex with them...even if its not going anywhere. Or maybe it's better this way since I don't care if I don't see him again...I don't know the answers to these questions!

Feel free to give suggestions for future debauchery. Even a well placed "your being stupid and are going to end up pregnant or with the herp" is welcomed for consideration.

xoxo

HL

Welp, Had A One Night Stand...

Yeah, cue the OMG.

But it happened. And to ME?! And it was SO FUN!!!!

So...

Friday night we were at our usual place, Primi, which is this really upscale nice bar that has DJ's so people also dance and its kind of like a mini club. It's my favorite place because the people are pretty and the bar tenders know us and take really good care of us. Anyway, there has been this BEAUTIFUL tall black man whose come in a few times...seriously, we see him and all stop talking and watch him walk by every time we've seen him. My friend tried to hit on him without success last weekend, but Friday night he also had a delicious looking friend with him, London. London is beautiful and brown with these really pretty tattoos on his arms, and a British accent to die for. His family is from Portugal and Angola (Africa) so yeah...gorgeous. Beautiful black man finally noticed that we've all been staring at him and London all night and I could tell he was talking to his friends about us so I asked,
"Are you talking about us?"
"I was just saying that, you girls are always looking at us"
"well yeah...we like you"

Someone was maybe making some proper booty drops and dancing all sexy with her girl friends...which is pretty much my standard at Primi, but this particular night London was apparently watching. So he started chatting with me, bought me a drink, they left to the Cuban club across the street but he made me promise I would stay...and sure enough they came back. At one point Beautiful black man put my hand down his pants so I got to feel his junk...it was super random and HILARIOUS. I actually thought that was going to be the highlight of my evening, but things just kept getting better! London and I kept flirting and I think the turning point was when he started smoking (you can smoke inside everywhere here, it sucks) and I said
"Ohhhhh you smoke? Well now your gonna taste all smokey"
Which I actually didn't mean in a flirtatious way, looking back. I was just gonna talk with him about if other girls have complained, just making conversation...but he was splendid and said
"No I don't, try me" and kissed me. Then again. And again.

And then we went to another favorite club of mine.
Got another drink.
Made out some more.

Then it was time to go home.

He was staying in a private room in a hostel literally down the street from my flat. I invited him to my place, but he wanted to go to his so we did. Now, at this point I wasn't so set on sleeping with him. I would have been ok with just making out and messing around, but we were just having so much fun together. We got along really well and he was so sweet...and hot.

So we were making out and messing around and then naked time, and then he was putting a condom on and I was oddly fine with it. I kept waiting for myself to freak out and leave or something, but I was having a blast and just kept going with it. He was really good, I have to say, we went for a long time...after I wore him out (his words, not mine. And not the first time I've gotten them;) we took a break for some falafel and pizza down the street, came back and had some more sex. After the first time he said to me,
"I really want to make love to you, but these beds are terrible...lets put all the mattresses on the floor" So we made a giant bed on the floor out of the mattresses in the empty beds in the room and it was so fun! Then he told me all these crazy stories about his life and we talked and talked until the sun was coming up. It wasn't ever awkward. We both wanted to have sex again but ran out of condoms so we just messed around and then finally feel asleep all snuggled up.

My friends had been texting me all night making sure I was ok...they know me and know I've never done this and have said I never wanted to do this, but were so happy for me because I think I really needed it. They knew where I was the entire time and around 8a my roomie called because she woke up and I wasn't home. After that I couldn't fall back asleep so I just enjoyed snuggling for a bit before putting my clothes on and peacing...while I was getting dressed I hear his hot accent,
"Where are you going?"
"Home. I just live down the street. And I'm so thirsty."

I could have added that I wanted my own bed, but instead I just kissed him and touched his face before sneaking out. I guess I could have stayed and we could have gotten more condoms and had more sex...but I was pretty sore from the evening and probably couldn't have had more sex anyway (sometimes I think there is something wrong with me). My guy friend here said unless he is rude and overt about wanting her to leave with a one night stand girl, he would like them to stay. Snuggle. watch movies and chat in bed, etc. But I hadn't really slept all night and we had spa plans at 2, and I've never really done this before so...I left and was perfectly ok with it.

So that was my fantastic one night stand my friends. There was no exchange of numbers, I will never see him again because he is only here for the weekend, and I really love the freedom in that! Later a part of me wished I had at least exchanged numbers in case he wanted to hang out while I'm in London, which he mentioned wanting to do...but eh. I also didn't want to ruin a perfectly good fling.

Analyzation:
I didn't go home with him because I was sad about PAG or even thinking about PAG. I actually have men give me the eye and hit on me almost every weekend, but I just ignored them because I had a boyfriend and/or a vibe and didn't want that. But Friday night I didn't have a boyfriend. Haven't had sex in almost a year. And there was actually some chemistry with a beautiful brown boy here...which never happens. Now, I don't think I am going to make this a regular occurrence or anything but when I woke up in the morning, contrary to popular belief, I did NOT feel bad about anything. I didn't feel guilty, I was just happy and felt sexually relieved for sure. I kept expecting this guilty feeling to come as the days have passed, but so far nothing...I only regret maybe not staying longer and snuggling more and hanging out with him because we had fun together, but I am also ok with the option I chose- sleep.

Although I don't feel guilty or anything, I will acknowledge that it was different then being intimate with someone you love and care about- even with PAG even though we weren't "technically" having sex. Part of me missed the sweetness, the "your so beautiful" comments, the stroking of the hair, etc. But at the same time, it was ok. It was what it was- FUN (And safe!). And it would have been weird to have all that with someone I just met, plus he was still sweet in his own way.

I promise that getting naked with someone and doing the "everything but sex" routine is pretty much exactly the same thing as actually having sex with someone...it's just more satisfying in the end. This is not to say making a man your serious about wait for it isn't worth it. Or that sex can't be built up to mean something more with a person you care about. And intimately it is sweeter when its with someone you love. But I can promise that all those conservative friends of yours who somehow think its less intimate to do everything BUT sex are dead WRONG. I was wrong, I see this now. If you don't want to be intimate with someone sexually, then don't take any clothes off. Done and done.

I was kind of hoping to wake up and feel less sad about losing and missing PAG. While I was definitely in a better mood overall, and still am, the hurt and sadness I feel about PAG is still there. It didn't go away. So now I know that any amount of sex with someone who is not the one you love-won't make the hurt go away. Maybe for a little while, but it's still there when you wake up.

So there it is. If you think I'm a skank now in B town- I really don't care. I had such a fun time and was as safe as anyone could be and am so stoked on life! My roomie and I keep saying, "I love our lives!" and its just so true.

So this post is for you London.
Wherever you are, stay there. You were perfect.