Au Revoir Mon Amour

So I still haven't heard from Postal Annex Guy(PAG). 

I spent Sunday being really sad about it and moped around the house and drank too much wine whilst avoiding questions from my parents about what happened. But yesterday was spent laughing and venting with dear friends around the city which lifted my spirits and today I am pretty much fine. Besides being irritated that he just dropped off the face of the planet. And yes, I am still a little hurt and sad. But mostly just annoyed with BOYS who can't get their balls together enough to just CALL A GIRL and tell her you dont think its going to work out. I mean seriously, it's not that difficult. I thought I had finally met a MAN who wouldn't pull the "fall off the face of the planet" syndrome on me...but nope. Apparently 30 years old isn't the cut off from boys to men. But now I have time and am back to being my awesome self and have time again for all the things I love...friends, fashion, sleeping with Bella, walking, family, reading, following all of my beautiful blogs, and finding pretty things for all of you. Plus, this hot single lady is leaving in 2 DAYS to move abroad and bust some European mens balls. So suck on that Postal Annex Guy.

Although...I do wonder if "fall off the face of the planet" syndrome has reached Europe yet?

Thats me! thanks to Bullock Productions. 

Get Ready Slovakia, Im coming for you!

FAIL: H&M

Normally I am on here gushing about pretty things from H&M such as the Lanvin line post. But FAIL on its new line from Divided. Ok seriously fashion, lets not punch people in the face with bad 80s clothes. They won't like it.

Ok thats my opinion, but what do you think?

I did however find these two looks VERY redeeming. 

Adventure Awaits.

Finally starting to get REALLY excited about my impending adventure abroad. My Spain album from this time last year has been inspiring me and reminding me of the beauty that awaits.

Feel Inspired.

Get Excited.

Pretty Things: Kennedy Family

I've posted pretty things from the amazing photographer, Avedon before, but these were just too stunning not to post too. Read the article about the actual shoot here.

Seriously, I Die.

Goal For The Year: Chanel

I decided that my goal for the year will not be related to weight...although I do have plans to lose the 5-10lbs I gained over the holidays...or to stop biting my nails...floss more...exercise more...nope. Those things tend to happen naturally in my life on and off anyways.

This year is dedicated to acquiring shallow objects, namely. C H A N E L.

We will start the year with Chanel No.5. It shall be my "I live in Europe and have a real job!" gift to myself after a few paychecks months.

Heres to a year of working to travel and to acquire shallow objects because you don't have kids or a mortgage and CAN.

Dramatic.

Ok...so I am a little tipsy right about now...and the following may reflect this...but apparently I am DRAMATIC?

I have had friends mention this to me a few times before...just that I am this way and they love it about me and whatever...but I guess I never thought about it.

Well, your freaking out about not hearing from a guy for a DAY after only knowing him for 2 weeks when your about to move away for 6 months. -Annie

I think the "drama" my friends speak of (and what is CLEARLY reflected in this blog) is just a mix of my natural intuition I have in situations...the previous times I've been hurt which rear up when situations feel similar...my self awareness and desire to process things which requires me to "shut down" for a time...and just being a sensitive pensive woman. I am one of the least shallow women you will ever meet...except I die for fashion and pretty things which can be pretty damn shallow but suck it, its part of my charm.

So SORRY if I get upset when the boy I am falling for and who I thought was the loveliest I'd ever met, suddenly falls off the face of the planet and Im NOT supposed to be dramatic about it? That is THE definition of a time to be dramatic! Although...friends and family also did point out that he really doesn't seem like the kind of guy to do that and just probably had things come up...but then here comes intuition and previous experience making me all fussy again. He's not answering my texts or calling me. He broke plans with me just by being MIA when we only have a few days left together.

Maybe he just realized 'Oh man Im really falling for this girl and she's moving away I can't handle this'-Annie

Either way I just SENSE not good things. And yes, Drama is coming out. And she just wants to sit in bed, listen to music, and drink wine.

Ok fine, maybe I am dramatic.

Now, Are We Crazy or Correct?

I kept waking up last night to check my phone to see if Postal Annex Guy (PAG) texted me back or something...to no avail. Finally this morning around 9am I called him to see if we were still going on a picnic today or what the plan was...I didn't get a chance to leave a message because he texted me right away "text you back soon". So I waited...and waited...and then it was 2pm and I started freaking out again. Not only have I now not heard from him since midnight on NYE, but he BROKE OUR PLANS for a date today! So I texted him again..."Is everything ok? I kind of thought we'd be picnicking about now...miss you". And have STILL HEARD NOTHING and its...5pm.

It could be an array of serious things, he has a huge family so anything could have happened or he needed to change plans...but to not call or text me or ANYTHING?!

That's just rude.

My anxiety level is the highest it ever gets. I was trying to keep busy all day helping my mom clean our dirty house and grocery shop and cook and stuff...But now I am drinking wine and sitting in bed to try and relax. I might cry. The LAST man I ever thought would pull this shit with me...appears to be doing the very thing I feared the most.

He always texts and calls me during the day...what could have possibly changed between midnight on Friday and today? And whats worse is that now Im back my parents so they keep asking me...Whats PAG doing today? I thought you guys were hanging out today? Did he call yet? Whats wrong? 


I miss my hot single girl apartment.

I feel like Im crawling out of my skin.

I hate this.

I guess it was part of the deal.

Ugh men.

3 Points For CRAZY.

"Crazy Woman With Cats" -Pablo Picasso

Isn't it sad that I am constantly on edge that Postal Annex Guy (PAG) is just going to disappear and fall off the face of the earth like all of the previous men in my life?

If I don't hear from him after a few hours or if he said he was going to come over and its just a little later then I thought it would be I automatically start to assume,


Oh well thats it, he doesn't like me anymore,  he's gone forever...

HOW AWFUL that the men I have previously dated have left such deep wounds that I essentially freak out inside every time something minor happens. For instance, yesterday he left my apt at 6am for work and was supposed to be back at 11 so we could make out and snuggle before my parents came at noon to help us move. By 11:30 when I hadn't heard from him I started to panic a little. I just texted him and he said, on my way gorgeous. One point for CRAZY. Then we spent the entire day together while he helped me move...but I literally kept waiting for him to get sick of me and find an excuse to leave. Especially because I know how little sleep he got the night before and how tired he was. But instead, he just kept sneaking kisses and sneaking ass grabs...telling me I'm pretty. And of course hung out with my family for the rest of the evening?! Then texted me later to make sure I was home ok and to wish me a happy new year?! All of this not for sex and he is well aware that I leave in a few days for 6 months.

So now I haven't heard from him all day...which is odd considering he is usually so attentive with texting and calling me during the day. But I know he is with his family so I need to calm the fuck down. PLUS last night amongst the New Years Eve texts came the "can't wait for our picnic on Sunday" texts. So clearly he hasn't disowned me between last night and tonight. And clearly we now have 3 points for CRAZY.

Adventures in Moving.

Moving Adventures.

I had pretty much everything packed when Postal Annex Guy (PAG) arrived to help me move yesterday, when he got there he just said “just point to what you want me to put in the truck and I’ll do it” To the point that when I would try and take something out, he would kiss me and tell me to stop and just finish packing and let him take them out. He’s just precious. Then my parents came to help too...so it happened dears, he met the rents. Two truck loads of my boxes and furniture, one cut finger, one dump off at the Goodwill, and we were at my parents house unloading when my dad sprung this fun fact on me:

Even though you’ve been moved out for 2 months and we could have done this ANYTIME during that timeline, we’ve decided to paint your room NOW. So lets stack your shit here in the living room where you have to dig through everything every time you need something and you can sleep on the hard pull out couch in the office where I work during the day so you can’t even really be in there either. 

So thats right friends, my last few days in my home and I don’t even get to sleep in my own bed or have my own space. I was and am SO ANGRY AND ANNOYED. So I just nudged PAG and told him “I guess that means we’ll be having a lot of sleepovers at your house, doesn’t it”, which was pretty much already a given anyway. Annie offered her place too. So it’s been “fun” trying to locate things I need even to shower or get dressed...I could have stayed at my apartment a few more days, they could have painted anytime during these last months, or even just had the consideration to TELL ME BEFOREHAND so I could pack accordingly, but no. None of that happened. My Dads kind of a dick sometimes. 

Anyway, PAG ended up staying until like 7pm eating dinner with my entire family and Annie!!! I must say, he was a hit. Annie loved him and my parents liked him too. I believe Annies words were, “Um...I like, love him, I mean...I kind of want to high five you right now!”. He had NYE plans with his family and I had plans with the girls, so we drove around to look at Christmas lights/make out and get warm in his car for a few minutes before parting for the evening...uh seriously, we live in SAN DIEGO and the high was 50 yesterday, RIDICULOUS. And please don’t bore me with your bullshit about how cold it is where you live compared to here...suck it, cold is cold. 


Of course we texted throughout the evening too, and today he is with his family but tomorrow he is taking me on a picnic/walk somewhere lovely. I am getting sad about leaving him. Still excited about adventuring abroad...but what if he doesn’t want to wait for me? Am I throwing away something perfect and lovely just to go be alone and freezing in Slovakia? Ideally I just want to go for 6 months and then come home and we’ll be together and live happily ever after...and whose to say that can’t happen?! Come on fate, lets work to my advantage this year please?

Toulouse-Lautrec

Dad took me on a date this week to see the Toulouse-Lautrec exhibit at the San Diego Art Museum. So we took my new Bang Bangs out on the town. 

 Dad and I

 Self Portrait

 Bang Bangs.

Good Lord, gained so much holiday weight.