Tuesday, July 27, 2010


No word from the damn fancy family yesterday OR today. I'm SO frustrated. I called my agency and left ANOTHER message asking if they called her maybe. Haven't heard anything. I haven't lost hope, I'm just annoyed more than anything else. Either my agency or the family is SUCKING and not letting me know so I can move on with my life. And furthermore, I turned down another perfectly good job because I was waiting for these jerkfaces. I may have another interview tomorrow, but she has 3 kids and doesn't want to pay more than $15/hour so I think I might just cancel the interview. This is what Im dealing with people.

Number 2 finally brought up the text message thing yesterday. He said he was so drunk he didn't even remember texting me until the morning when he saw the long "conversation" we had. Obviously I knew he was drunk and it didn't mean anything to him, but I cant help but analyze and wonder why he always texts ME. No time to dwell, the conversation ended with him saying,
"anyway, you know Im crazy about you."
"uh, no your not"
"yes I am, just not the way you want me to be."

just when you think that stabbed in the heart-I feel like Im going to throw up-crying my eyes out- phase has gone away.
It rears its ugly head once again.

But in all honesty, I AM getting over him. I really am. I dont think about him all day anymore. I've only cried twice in the last few weeks since I ended it officially. When I talk to him I get irritated and change the subject when he tries to talk about sex with me whereas before I took it as a sign that he looooved me and was attracted to me...blah blah blah. bullshit. I ignore his calls. When I do talk to him I am getting really good at keeping my mind in the friend zone and not constantly analyzing what he says, looking for a sign that he loves me and wants me. I have already been flirting and putting myself out there with other guys. I know I probably need another few weeks until I'm ready to seriously date someone, but Im working really hard at getting there. I know I deserve someone awesome who values me and wants me to be a part of their life. And I genuinely do know it will happen someday. I just forget sometimes...annnnd cry myself to sleep.

Besides, Im really busy watching Wife Swap and Style By Jury.

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