Sunday, July 25, 2010

The Saga Continues

We talked yesterday for an hour while he drove up to his friends going away party...all his friends are going to grad school while he got rejected from all his schools:( his two besties are going to be in the Chicago area where he would have been too. Its been a rough year for the both of us. anyway. It was a formal $100/person party at some Russian restaurant..he "thought about inviting me but knew I didnt have $100" (great guy huh), he said he wasnt going to drink so he could drive home that night and study the next day and not be hungover. Sure enough around 11p I start getting the drunk texts. Pretty much every time he goes out I get a slew of texts. I used to take this as something sweet because it meant he was thinking of me and missing me while he was out...but then I realized, wait a minute? Why is he out without me? I should be there dancing and drinking and meeting his friends WITH him. Maybe not all the time, but SOMETIME. Seriously, once would be nice. Arg.

so he was texting me funny things...I was texting back quick funny answers. He texted something sexual and I responded
"yeah, but then you broke my heart so no more of that for you"

Then he writes back:

"love you"

UM. what am I supposed to do with that? WHY WHY WHY????!!!!
I wrote back "liar liar pants on fire drunky" because I reallllly didn't want to take it to heart. Im trying really hard to forget about it and remember that I should have been there with him. That he didn't mean it. That hes just a flirt. That hes a DOUCHE. but seriously? Love you? HES THE WORST. It's like he gets pleasure confusing and hurting me.

Then in the morning he texts me "dont worry about the Facebook post, it was just dancing".
So I check the Facebook post,
"wow i love Russian girls".

so now I dont know how to feel about him texting me that either?! He clearly feels the need to make sure I'm not upset. But does he just not want to hurt me because he knows how I feel about him? That has to be it. I'm so frustrated.

Seriously friends, I am an awesome girl. I am pretty (some say beautiful) and super fun and outgoing, I don't flirt with boys who aren't mine, I don't drink too much, I am an excellent dresser, I am well traveled and cultured, I have lots of different interests, I have a post baccalaureate teaching credential, I got great grades in college because I'm really smart...I mean the list goes on. So WHY am I getting treated like some second rate girl he found at the bar one night and doesn't know what to do with? Why WOULDN'T he want to bring me to his friends party? Have we been over how I'm pretty and super fun?

We haven't talked since then. He called me but I was busy. arg.

Anyway. Enough of douche number 2.

Last night I had THE BEST NIGHT! Annie and I bar tended a party at my old work where Annie still works. It was so much fun! We are awesome bartenders! We just flirted and danced with each other behind the bar and made awesome tips and would take breaks to dance on the dance floor...and drink free drinks and eat free food. Everyone loved us! Especially 3 men who just adored me...such a good night to boost my self confidence when douche has been shredding it. One poor bloke arrived and I immediately noticed him, he was really cute. He asked me to dance and I made him drinks and he tried to kiss me a few times...hehe. Then at the end of the night I find out he used to be a professional rugby player in New Zealand and is now a firefighter. I KNOW RIGHT. However, at the beginning of the night he was sober and fun but by the end he was super drunk, flirting with everyone, and expressed how his 5 year girl friend just broke up with him 3 weeks ago.

I gave him my number anyway of course.

Gosh, I hope tomorrow I hear from the fancy job. At this point I am going to be so disappointed if I dont get a trial day. So much anticipation. They said Monday or Tuesday so I still might not hear tomorrow...arg. I thought they needed someone asap! jeez! I lost the other family that wanted me to start asap. They said they had to try and find someone else since I wouldn't know until mid week and they needed someone to start tomorrow. but the more I think about it the more Im not sure it was the job for me. I want to do things with my kids...not just hang around the house.

anyway. we'll see.


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