Thursday, November 03, 2011

Why Not?


Birthday Boy and I are still always chatting online about our lives and even reliving our brief, but fantastic, escapade. We are quickly becoming rather close friends and silly sex talk has turned into serious life, relationships, family, and future talk. He has quite honestly become one of my dearest friends/ex-lovers/?

Yeah thats right. The younger then me Marine from the south who almost threw up on me the first night we attempted to hook up and then 2 months later spent the most amazing time together before he moved to BRASILIA (how do I find these unattainable guys?!).

He is such a LOVELY man I was constantly in shock by how sweet he was with me when we were physically together and then how he continues to pursue and fall for me even after leaving. He knows my struggles with work, friends, roomie, and other things here in Bratislava so he- on his own free will- asked the international school contacts he's found there (working at the US embassy has its perks) and got a bunch of information for me to contact them. He said the teachers are always talking about how much they love working there, the weather and culture are amazing, and to teach English at university level or privately you can make $100/hour (INSERT OMG HERE). Plus he's mentioned more then once, "everything is great, all I need is you!"

Of course everything is telling me no no no. What happens if I get there and him and I don't work out and I'm stuck there? Or if I leave the few friends I have finally made here? South America is not Europe safety wise and I'll still be far from home too.

But.

On the other hand.

Why the hell NOT?

SO WHAT if I get there and we don't "work out"? I'll still be a professional awesome young woman living in the capital city of Brazil. I'll never be 'stuck' anywhere- we all make our own choices. And the few 'friends' I do have here I don't really feel like are my friends at all. We are at the exact same surface level we were when I got here. Besides roomie. But as discussed roomie is kind of crazy and is all wrapped up in her bf and work anyway. When I am having a hard time she doesn't even know how to hug me. As soon as I told her about birthday boy sending me this info and my surprise she was like, "WHY? GO! It'd be amazing!"

Plus, I am kind of over Europe to be honest. I feel like I've "seen it all" and am sick of the ignorant culture. Maybe it'd be different if I were in western Europe, but getting a job there is nearly impossible so why not take a chance and explore South America a bit? I am dying to see Machu Piccu, experience Mardi Grais, dance the tango and eat steak in Buenos Aires....are you allowed to swim in the Rio?

I think its hard for me to imagine doing something so...rash. I never saw my life like this. It was always...go to college, graduate and teach in San Diego, get married, have babies, live by family. And now its like there is this entire...WORLD...I can just do whatever I want to! If I go to Brazil for a few months and enjoy my time with the sweet guy and it doesn't work out? I can just go somewhere else! If I leave Europe to teach in South America and then want to go back? I CAN! If I get over living abroad and want to move back to San Diego- what a concept, get ready- I CAN.

Of course I am still constantly worried about my mum. And I'll still be a long and expensive plane ride away. But then again, I moved here barely knowing one person and look how far I've come? How about moving somewhere to be with a boy I have a serious connection with and already has an established American community? Whats the difference really?

So someone might seriously be considering moving to...Brasilia. Yeah, that just happened.

Thoughts?

xoxo

HL

1 comment:

sarah wagner said...

You lead such an adventure and have such amazing stories, no matter what you choose is the best thing. <3