Friday, October 26, 2012

Those Discussions.

Those discussions you never imagined having in your life. Let alone now.

Like when randomly it comes up that the man you're planning a life with is 100% firm on spanking his kids while you are quite the opposite and have plenty of justification as to why. We talked about it for a good 30 minutes last night after one of our usual silly 2 hour conversations about tv shows, funny videos, our day, etc.

So maybe "those" conversations with your significant other weren't about "to spank or not to spank", but I'm sure you've discussed something similar. Something that makes you step back and go...whoa...I'm OLD. And it's a little more tricky for us since he already has a son coming into the relationship. So does he just get to make all of the decisions for little bear and I have to go along with it? But we are both the primary care givers. And there has to be consistency between the two care givers and I refuse to spank so...see where it gets tricky?

By the end we weren't angry with each other, just frustrated. It's funny learning the different way we communicate with each other. We do best with these kinds of serious disagreements by taking a break for awhile and then coming back to talk about it again later. Usually we go a work day or so worth of time away from the topic and come back refreshed and with new perspectives. Plus, we are reminded to show grace to one another because we love each other so much so therefore we MUST make it work.

I wonder how this will work out when we live together. We do really well with telling each other what we need and the other not being offended by it so far. Such as, "I need to not talk about this anymore and to watch tv alone for awhile" ha. As silly as this always works. We're hoping this method keeps things sustained when we get frustrated with each other an can't just "go" anywhere.

Another bonus is that we don't really ever argue. In the last year I can say we've disagreed and kind of argued about maybe 3 things and always fixed it shortly after. Usually I frustrate him, he gets fussy with me, then we break and have time to think, and he apologizes for being a jerk face and I apologize for being frustrating. Boom. End. I would say for a couple who is struggling with long distance, very different upbringings, and baby mama drama that's pretty damn good.

So instead of buying a some more single and fabulous something or would appear its time for us to invest in some parenting books. I have a lot of experience in this area but need to brush up...while he could use the new knowledge to broaden his perspectives too.

As I always say...being an adult is weird.



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