manic monday

today.
pondering and thinking about moving out.

i think i can afford it now, working 30hrs a week and school seems to be balancing well. im worried about the next 2 years in school tho, it'll be my major classes and preparing to graduate, so im worried that ill get to stressed trying to balance school and work. school comes first and i get emotionally sick when i work too much. i also dont want to get distracted, but i need friends. its hard to be alone all the time.

the other issue is my doggie. she would be devastated if i left. and equally upset if i took her away from mom. and i cant leave her. so i dont know how to handle that either. but i cant stay here forever. maybe ill just wait for the opportunity to come up and then see what happens. like, if someone has an open space or something...then ill see what God says about those things. but not go looking for it. even tho im so tempted.

that stupid boy wont call me. and i miss him and hes leaving soon and i just want to hang out and laugh.

im watching MTV "engaged and underage", shes getting her first bikini wax for her honeymoon. awkward. her future mother inlaw and sister in law are doing it for her. haha
the grooms family is really cute and christian and excited. they waited to have sex and its cute.

aww i cant wait to get married. well, i can. but still, when the time comes its going to be so fun! but until then, im fine without a husband. but i really do want some more boys in my life. even just guy friends, all this alone time is getting ridiculous. i need male attention.

at dts i remember learning that women need at least 20 non-sexual attention a day. like, a hug, a pat of the back, an affirmation, attention, ect...
i need that.

i like movies. its weird. i tried to tivo my fav movie breakfast at tiffanys, but the tivo is broken. i really need to get cable and tivo in my room. i offered to pay for it, but its all confusing and needs special attention.

i graduate with my AA this spring!!!

i think i need to apply for that soon...hmm