Sunday, June 29, 2008

You cant fire me! im your son! im firing you!

"You cant fire me! Im your son! Im firing you!" -Buster Arrested Development

well its been an interesting last few days. On Friday i got fired or "laid off" from my job, that was an interesting experience. they asked to meet with me right before i was going to leave for the church to finish up work there. they told me they were going to have to let me go effective immediately and i asked if they were joking. they said they were "disappointed" i didnt tell them I was going to Europe over the summer when they hired me and that they were changing the position a bit and hiring the pastors wife. i think it would be important to mention that i worked my ASS off for these people, my days when i worked were SO busy the entire time i was exhausted when i was done. i would have to force myself to take breaks because i was afraid i wouldnt finish everything by the end of the day but i knew i needed a break. meanwhile, i would see other people "working" by just meeting with people, watching movies online, whatever. i know its the nature of the different jobs, but still, i worked so hard and did such a good job. Just this Sunday i was thinking of how excited I was because i was really getting to know the teachers, kids, and parents and families there. I took a pay decrease to work for them. i quit going to my own church because i was working at theirs and trying to build a new community there. so all in all im not very happy with the church or the people in leadership there to choose to fire me and do it in such a hurtful way. no two weeks notice. not at the beginning of the day. i feel like they used me for the last few months to work for them until i was about to leave and then i got screwed over. if it was a problem, they should have mentioned that when i told them i was going to Europe this summer...5 months ago. Not to mention that on Sundays i just loved my job. When I was up in front teaching the kids i just felt so good, it was so natural for me. Afterwards I would reflect, "gosh, this really is what im supposed to be doing!". im going to miss that. And im going to miss the kids.

Although I am sad, frustrated, offended, hurt, disappointed, and angry. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Just a few weeks ago my parents and I discussed me not working while im in school. For the next two years my schoolwork will not only continue to increase in difficulty (and you see how much I complain now!), but ill have at least 8 hours a week of internship until my final semester when I student teach full time and wouldnt be able to work at all! Also, I just took out all these loans and grants...not just for my trip this summer, but in preparation for not being able to work as much during the school year. Secretly, Gods been talking to me about my constant stress level and school frustration for a long time. We've been discussing me not working and were trying to work out other options for during the year. So i feel upset about how the situation came about, and that it was through a church nonetheless. but i feel blessed that God has been preparing my heart and life plans for awhile for this very event.

So im probably going to have to start babysitting and house sitting and picking up jobs...which isnt really my favorite. but im kind of a professional babysitter now, so i think i would enjoy it more. and if working random odd jobs a few times a month, means NOT working a ton during the week and NOT being stressed out and NOT getting bad grades and NOT losing sleep and regaining a social life, faith life, personal interests, etc. then im more than ok with it. but i am still sad how it all came about.

anyway. camping this weekend with the girls was lovely! i think Annies going to post the pictures tomorrow. It was just what I needed after being fired on friday (see! God lined up things so i wouldnt hurt so much!). The campsite was was basically a strip of dirt along a road. we were like a foot from our neighbors with no trees or anything blocking was strange. and then the hike to the beach was a bitch. it was down this enormous cliff and we almost died trying to come back up after a few hours at the beach. we just relaxed, read books, they did crosswords and suduko, drank a little, ate snacks, got sunburned, made smores, made fun of eachother, snuggled, laughed a lot, napped together, took pictures, lots of fun! we can make anywhere fun:) so that was a sweet time, we were all just so happy to be together we just wanted to sit and be. plus we were all tired because work is just so much...well, work. i dont know what our next trip will be...probably to go visit cassie in Oregon. im still in disbelief shes moving. probably because im thinking of Europe...which is SO stinkin soon!

i still have so much to do until then...i just really want to be done with my summer school class! i have 2 more papers to write! arg! plus trying to get things together for the trip. im glad i did a lot of my shopping a few weeks its just all the last things which wont be too bad. now that im unemployed i have lots of time!

8 more days! i cant believe it!
oh does this look familiar? maybe you remember it as the house the Von Trapps live in, in The Sound of Music. do you know where it is? Salzburg, Austria along with the rest of the movie sites. guess where im going?! (yeah i know, i cant believe it either)

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