Sunday, April 01, 2012

Moments When You Fall A Little Further.

Where I left my heart.

Today I got a newsletter from a very dear friend of mine who just moved herself and 3 kids down to Haiti to start an orphanage, women's programs, and kids programs a few years ago. No big deal. My mind started spinning and missing all the babies I love snuggling with in these 3rd world countries. My heart is truly happy when I am loving on these muffins and using the gifts I know God gave me- working and loving on children who aren't even mine. I have grown as a woman in general since the last time I went, I think I would even be better balanced and emotionally ready to go and support a program now when I ever was before.

Boyfriend and I have already discussed and are excited to adopt kids from other countries for our family, which was already huge for me that he was so on board...but I was wondering how he would feel about going to some of these orphanages and children's homes I have connections to all over the world for a few weeks or months sometimes to support and help. I was genuinely curious how he would feel about it...not every man is into that kind of thing and would be willing or even excited to give up vacation time or a life in America for babycakes.

And thats when I somehow fell even more in love with this amazing man.

Not only did he want to go 100%, but he then went on and on about how he's actually been thinking about all of this for awhile and was watching the puzzle pieces fall in place as our time together and life plans continued to form. He then goes on telling me apparently he's always wanted to start a girls home and be a good role model of a man for them, it could be for troubled teens, young pregnant women, or kids. He also knows missionaries who have a children's ministry in Hong Kong we could work with and his dad knows all of these rich and high up politicians in DC who would love giving money to organizations like that, and have connections that could help. THEN he says "Plus, I was thinking, if I retire after 20 years in the military then we would have income coming in every month too! And we could go and do whatever we want!"

After he excitedly told me all of this. I like...couldn't even talk.

I am tearing up even now.

All I could muster was a...

Oh my God...

I just...

I can't...

it's like I didn't think I could possibly fall in love with you any more...

we really are perfect for each other. 


Now, I don't know where life is leading us. If we really are going to be together forever, or if God has other plans in mind, and if we are to be together then when and how this "Love the Crap Out of Kids in a 3rd World Country" plan is going to come together. But gosh am I thrilled just thinking about it.

I just love him. And I love where life is taking me and us. Life has been a difficult journey to say the least, but I finally feel like things are going to be ok. Not easy and perfect, but not a shit show all the damn time either. I can't help but think boyfriend has something to do with it. Of course, I have grown considerably in the recent years and am finally getting stabilized with a job and being home...but men bring such stability, security, and a calmness I never knew existed. I do feel like I can handle things myself, but its just so much less overwhelming and scary knowing he is always here for me too. We like to call ourselves "Team Awesome".

Ok enough gushing for one day.



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