Sunday, September 20, 2009


I'm tired of writing about my boy woes. However, today is the first day where i feel like its not consuming my thoughts entirely. So instead of whining about how boys suck and im going to die alone, Im going to discuss (probably whine) about other things.

But just really quick. We have this awesome conversation on wednesday, right? Then he texts me and we talk throughout the week and I get a...ill call u when the weekend gets closer so we can make plans...and everythings great. UNTIL the weekend comes and nothing. nada. zip. Just as I was beginning to maybe trust this guy a teeny tiny bit, he pulls this crap. And honestly, i dont care THAT much. Im just more annoyed than anything else. And extra frustrated that now I have to deal with THIS. He said that he was a gentleman and always calls even if its to tell a girl he thinks they should just be friends. His record has been perfect so far. SO i can only expect hes going to call and either give me the "lets just be friends" speech OR I have to give him the "your rude and wasted my time this weekend and may not call me again, ass." NEITHER is appealing to me at the moment. plus, seeing your extremely ex boyfriend with his new girlfriend over the weekend while all this crap is going down doesnt exactly boost a girls self esteem. and now I feel bad about myself. awesome. Glad the weekend is over so I can get back to being busy...and awesome.

in other news. in regards to feeling bad about myself, Ive been thinking more about moving to NYC. I have my phone interview for the program THIS WEEK. Ill find out if I made it to the final interview at the end of the month, and final interview is at the end of October. But suddenly I dont feel "cool" enough to move to NY. And how will I make friends if I teach children all day? I dont know any cool restaurants and I dont know if I want to fit into the Brooklyn crowd or the uptown crowd...decisions decisions. Then again, beautiful men wanted to befriend me literally on every corner and its so different there...they just strike up conversation with you and then your going out later for drinks. Its crazy. Not like here. SO different. Its like NY is one big party where everyone you meet was invited so you already have that in common. What if I get depressed from constant dreary rain all the time? What do i do with Worms?
I guess moving is always scary. Moving to NY is always scary. I just want to go. Im going to go. Ill figure it out. Im still going. And if it sucks Ill just fly across the pond to Paris and remember where I can find my soul whenever necessary. Or just fly to visit Cassie and REALLY remember who I am. Oh, I do miss her.

Lets face it. Ill never be as "cool" as her.

Im going shopping. Whenever I feel bad about myself I go shopping to remember how awesome I am. I am a very good shopper. And do not deny myself the high one gets from buying something 75% off, I just use it wisely.

Im also going to bake a pie. A vegan peanut butter pie and you cant stop me. Also, to remind myself how awesome I am. Shit, I can shop and bake and care for large groups of children, Im like a professional 1950's housewife over here. Now wheres my vodka and Valium;)

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