Twenty-Seven.

Happy Birthday to Me! I simply can not believe another year has passed. Twenty- Seven. The number always seemed so high to me. I felt like I would have so much more of my life together by now...not necessarily in a good way. I guess I am kind of glad I am not as "adult" as I thought 27 was. I'm still single, still love going out, work to live and not the other way around, listen to good music, wear cute clothes, have more confidence in myself every year that passes. The list goes on. 

Last year I recall we decided to call twenty-six "The Year of Wonder" and oh my it was! I think thats about when my crazy partying days started to surprisingly come to a close as Mr. Boyfriend and I started our accidental long distance love affair. Where at the time I thought "wonder" was going to be more dancing on tables 5 nights a week and having meaningless affairs with various men...wonder took me on a completely different route than I ever expected. In fact, gosh its so much better. I found the love of my life. I am working on applying to our very own beautiful apartment in a part of the city I am excited to live in and it includes our little buddy. I'm not stressed about money. Or my mothers health. I've completely changed careers and while I don't love it 100%, I am trying to learn to like it for right now. What a serious wonder its in fact been.

Can't twenty-seven be the year of wonder too? This is the year everything is going to happen. Mr. Boyfriend and I are exactly 8 weeks away from moving into our apartment together (eeee!!!). We are going to get engaged and plan our wedding this year. I turn into a momma for his mini me. It's All Happening!

Ah- there is is.

"Twenty-Seven: It's All Happening"

I was so busy feeling sorry for myself this birthday I was overwhelmed with surprises! I was feeling a bit 16 candlesish with friends not being able to celebrate my birthday party I planned (as usual), my brother opting out of the family night, work forgetting and I had to beg my brother to take me out for lunch, I guess I just usually had lots of little mid week outings of friends wanting to celebrate with me or take me to lunch or something and this time it was much more minimal. Part of growing up. I dont think it helped that the one love I'd like to celebrate with is currently deployed to Brazil...just as an added bonus.

Oh, plus I had awesome PMS which makes for a very teary birthday.

ANYWAY. After all of that ridiculousness a few of my girls met me for a drink at my favorite wine bar the night before...

 The day of my mum made me breakfast and I treated myself to some Starbucks...

 Then my sweet family took me out for AMAZING Russian food down in San Diego. Spending time with them is always a treat. Plus, come on theres a sweet succulent baby involved. 

Look at him!!! GAH!

Plus flowers from friends galore, birthday calls, videos, and treats. I felt so loved. Next weekend I am arranging a dinner and dancing night with everyone to celebrate my favorite way...gosh I've missed dancing.

So here is to twenty-seven, "It's All Happening!"

xoxo

HL

Birthday Week Treats.

Over the last few years I've learned not to get too hyped up about my birthday anymore. Especially last year where the big gala ended up turning out like just another night with dramatic semi-friends practically ignoring me all night. The only good thing was when (now) Mr. Boyfriend and I spent our marvelous days loving and laughing with each other. The year before was even worse when most of friends "couldn't" come to the birthday party I had spent time putting together and the horrible ex had stopped calling me forever, after a year, just days before our plans to celebrate my birthday.

Of course this year I've planned another fun evening the weekend after my birthday, and of course majority of people "can't" come. I am sad and disappointed...but decided well before even having it that I didn't care who did or did not come. My brother and I were going to go out for sure and if everyone else wanted to come they would. I wanted to get dressed up, get drunk, and dance. And dammit, I'm going to! However, with my real birthday being 2 days away and having NO plans all week besides with my family the day of...it's feeling a little lackluster again. So I've been treating myself instead and I must say...it's been rather lovely.

How to Celebrate Your Birthday Week

• Get your favorite tacos for taco tuesday, while waiting peruse a favorite shop
• Make your friend come get a drink and dinner with you one night. Order a hamburger and beer with all the fixings and don't feel guilty about it. I haven't done that in YEARS. 
• Go to bed super early one night. It was so worth it. 
• Walk to your favorite cafe from the train after work, order your favorite tea, croissant, just sit there and read. Sigh. 

RIGHT?!

Tomorrow I am going to see if someone wants to get a drink and ring in midnight with me, Saturday- the actual birthday- Rachel is coming over to pool and drink, dinner at a fun Russian restaurant with the family, and then book club on Sunday. I must say, it's ended up being quite a lovely week after all. Makes me want to do nice and fun things for myself more often! However, not food related. 8 weeks until I see Mr. Boyfriend (can you believe it?!) time to get myself in gear. I've been half assing it for months now. 

So I suppose the lesson we've learned yet again is being an awesome independent woman is more AWESOME than we always think it will be. 

(in light of this I've decided to make a "schedule" for myself! Mondays are errands, Tuesdays are drinks and dinner with Annie, Wednesdays are my girly appointments, Thursdays are cafe and writing night! Right?! I feel so organized and adult-like. Weird.)

I am missing my man. He sent me the fancy Miss Dior perfume I wanted. It's not the same without someone holding you close the morning of and whispering "happy birthday baby" in your ear. Oh well, this will be the last birthday I have without him. We have the rest of our lives.

(Unless he gets deployed...but I like to pretend thats never happening...so whatever.)

xoxo

HL

Birthday. Rendezvous.

Birthday. 

 

Looks pretty great huh. Birthday plans started out pretty amazing...we booked a table at sky bar for 15 people and I had around 20 "friends" RSVP, plus we were going to a nice club afterwards. Roomie and I spent the day getting ready...we bought the crown, dress, and new shoes. Did my hair...roomie did my makeup...baked the funfetti cake I brought back all the way from America...painted my toes...etc.

However. The night ended up being all of my "friends" kind of ignoring me, and basically just using it as an excuse to party. Everyone (except roomie) almost just left me at sky bar to go to some other club where another girl was having a small party. I didn't want to go because it wasn't very nice and it was far away, but no one asked me where I wanted to go or seemed to care. Roomie had to TELL me, "so everyone is leaving to go to the other club so we need to go". I had to do my cake and presents with just a few people because no one else was even paying attention. Everywhere we went everyone would literally be standing around a table talking or whatever and I would be standing or sitting alone. I had to start hitting people and trying to joke, "can I please be invited to my own birthday party?! Damn!" I thought I was maybe being oversensitive and wanting too much attention...but the next day roomie confirmed my feelings. We both realized who are real friends were. But even roomie left early with her boyfriend because he had a baseball game the next morning and is always a priority these days. Plus, the old birthday boy I've been seeing- at the last minute couldn't come because of work and I was disappointed. And I cried because I missed all of you forever friends and my family on my first birthday so far away from home. People who actually know what to talk to me about and care about me.

Luckily, the night ended up with me dancing at an actual legit club with the remaining few until 5a and them all walking me home. A definite high note to end on.


A real picture of the evening?

Almost everyone at the other table ignoring me while I open presents. Receiving condoms from my friend who remembered me whining about not being able to get any in Slovakia after 9p. Little did he know how handy they would come in...

Rendezvous.

After my semi shitty birthday party, my hungover self and birthday boy had plans for the day once he was finished working. The plans became "Wanna come over and lay in bed with me all day while I get over this hangover?". Obviously he rushed over. After our failed sexcapade in July before I left for SD, Sunday became what we like to call "Naked Cartoon Day" which included having the best sex of my life four times, watching Despicable Me all snuggled up laughing SO hard, and talking and laughing ALL day and night. It may have ended up being one of my better birthdays.

First of all, we had SO MUCH fun together! And definitely had a sweet connection because we would just talk and talk about our lives and selves. He told me hilarious stories and was so loving with me. He would kiss me and kiss me, hold me really close, touch my face and hair...and compliment me up to wazoo. I am in the process of trying to document everything he said about me because I never believe these things about myself. Most things I want to keep, but a snippet to share...
"wow, you have an amazing body"
I'll take that.

We proceeded to have "Naked Monday" evening and "Naked Tuesday" evening to the point that both of us were SORE from so much sex, ahahahaha.

Sadly, last night we had to say good bye. He left for Brazil this morning for his next post. We were both sad...another one of those great people you meet and have a connection with and then have to say good bye. Both of us have done this many times, both of us knew what was happening this time, and both of us confirmed that it sucked. But he wants to end up on the base in socal after his year in Brazil...so we'll see what happens...

So yeah...quite the weekend and week. Plus I started my tutoring clients this week, mom had another surgery yesterday, and I just got home from a very emotional counseling session. All in all, I would say my plans of going to bed at 9:00p are SOLID.

Tomorrow for the actual birthday, roomie and I are going to my favorite Italian restaurant for dinner- so excited!

xoxo

HL

Wow.

Its my bed time but I am DYING to update!!!

Birthday gala was interesting...more on that to come...

More interestingly, I just finished having my rendezvous with birthday boy and OMG.

Turns out birthday boy and I really connected...really liked each other...and had THE BEST SEX OF MY LIFE for the last 3 days straight.

And of course he leaves for Brazil for his next embassy placement tomorrow. Couldn't just meet someone great, connect, have great sex, and have it work out. That would just be too much to ask for.

I'll have more time tomorrow evening for a nice big fat update.

xoxo

HL

Let's Remember...

So I've been reflecting...

At how this time last year I was crying my eyes out.

Literally could not breathe or function.

Because that dick Number 2 stopped calling me forever. A few days before my birthday, we had plans for sushi for my birthday. We were seriously talking about going to Mexico after his grad apps were finished. I was breaking up with SS because I thought Number 2 was finally ready to get serious. We'd been together and "in love" for a year. I was coming off of the worst year of my life with mom being sick...3 family members dying...swine flu...and student teaching/death...

Then I spent my Alice in Wonderland birthday party without a call back from either of them and swore off men for the rest of the year.

3 months later I moved to Europe and ride to work looking fabulous on the public transit I know by heart everyday thinking, "Man, I love my life!!!!". Then I spend my weekends dancing on tables, sitting in little coffee shops reading and drinking tea, baking in my own flat, or even sometimes having slumber parties with various gentleman callers.

I must say, this has been QUITE the year.

And twenty-six is bound to be 10x better then twenty-five...when I cried on my way to my own birthday party.

THIS YEAR I am having, perhaps the birthday party I was always meant to.

We're booked at the nicest bar in town that overlooks the entire city, took us a week to get the reservation, and I get to make everyone get as dressed up as I always am when we go out. I got us 2 bottles of champagne for the 15+ people coming and am making funfetti cake with the mix I brought back with me from the states. Then we have a table booked at the nicest club in the city for afterwards! I have the beautiful and sweet male suitor whose been courting me who will be by my side all evening (and made the club reservations for me:) And all of my dearest friends from Bratislava will be there! The plan is to drink more gin and tonic and champagne then should be allowed, dance on a table, have my face hurt from smiling, embarrass myself somehow publicly, and have some birthday sex. I feel like all of this is doable.

I am trying to not be so depressed about turning OLD and just now decided to call it
"Twenty Six- The Year of Wonder" 

I think it has a nice ring to it...

Let the shit show begin!

xoxo

HL

Happy Birthday To ME.

Oh friends! Guess who reappeared?

No, not music man. I wish. He's still in the douche category.

I'll give you a hint, he left my flat after failing to um...properly finish the session...almost threw up on me, then left with barf in a bag in one hand, and the knickers he accidentally dropped in the other, head hung. Hating life. Thats right, birthday boy is back!

I didn't forget about him, because we definitely had a connection, but I knew he was leaving mid October and that nothing was going to happen really anyway. Then randomly he texted me about wanting to hang out, and while it may have been interpreted as a booty call (before I left we did both agree we needed a redo anyway), we had a date all afternoon and evening on Saturday and it was perfect. Although we were a little affectionate, it clearly wasn't a booty call...and actually he surprised me as being a very sweet, clever, funny, and all around awesome person.

After apologizing and then laughing excessively about the tragic evening we shared a few months ago, (sorry I didn't call you...it's taken me this long to get my pride back...) he made the day all about me (I know right) so we sat at my favorite spot and drank gin n tonic by the river all afternoon, the weather was PERFECT, and everyone was out. Then we got a big beautiful ice cream (his idea) and while eating it together everyone let these pink, white, and red heart shaped balloons go up over the river. Hundreds of balloons floating up all together...it was so romantic we kind of laughed about it. Then we walked to a Czech/American restaurant and ate dinner/ drank more. I can't remember the last time I laughed so much in one day and was so happy.

And to be honost, it was nice to not have ANY pressure. We'd already had sex (kind of...), know he's leaving, and just get to have fun with the beginning part of something.

I think we both want to build up a little more before we hook up again...for real this time. So we didn't hook up Saturday, and tonight we're just meeting for dinner before he has to work the midnight shift.

But I love how he pursues me. I'm getting the ol texting, "you're beautiful", I want to spend time with you, whatever you'd like to do, insisting on paying for everything: treatment and I have to say- it's rather nice.

ALSO!
Next Thursday is MY 26TH BIRTHDAY. Fuck, I'm old.

I find it ironic I am rekindling with Birthday Boy on my birthday.

Birthday.

Just some Snippets.

Mad Hatter Tea Party.

Annie, Me, and Jill. I remember trying really hard not to look drunk here;)

Kaley had the prettiest dress!

Nina and I.

Then Brother and I went nuts!



Family Party Was A Dream.

SO MANY THINGS.

Well last night was lovely! I paid my friend Danica to cater the party with baked goods, and OMG she did a fabulous job! Plus, everyone used the tea cups I got and everything was really cute:) Of course, being a downer, I was disappointed that so many people couldn't come. Even more couldn't come last minute...BUT it was so sweet that so many of my north county friends did drive down and everyone thought the party was so cute. Plus, Annies cute new neighbor we'll call T since he is my type to a capital T, kind of hinted that he wanted to come...wanted me to text him...etc. So that may be a developing story I didn't even see coming. My friends got me some nice little things too...a MUSE bag from the show I missed while in Hawaii...fake wedding rings for my job so I dont look like a single mom and get dirty looks...a pretty book of poems...and Micah is taking me to an Azure Ray show at the end of the month.

Things got kind of weird after everyone left. Everyone left but brother and Kaley around 1230a but brother really wanted to take me out more...we're in the gay district so that was really the only option in walking distance so we went to a gay bar. Which was actually great since I'm kind of anti men right now. Brother bought me a lot of drinks I shouldn't have had and we both got TANKED. I love drinking with my family, and Micah said we could just come back and crash on the couches she'd prep for us...so that was all taken care of. But while we were out brother started telling me all this CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY stuff about our family...he made me pinky swear not to tell anyone EVER so I am not ready to repeat it...but basically it was about finances and shady business stuff...and even shady stuff with brother. I was and still am in shock. What was worse, was that when I asked him why no one told me, I mean I am the oldest, he gave me this look. and I said,
"why? because they think Im crazy and cant handle it?"
and he just started nodding and making this "obviously" face.
We went over and over how they think I'm crazy quite a few times because I couldn't believe it...and by crazy I mean emotionally unstable and that I'll freak out while brother is calm and logical so they tell him a lot more stuff. He kept telling me things and would say, "oh whatever, you won't remember in the morning".
I ALWAYS REMEMBER EVERYTHING.

So that's good...my family secrets came pouring out and that they think I'm crazy.

Then I threw up a lot in front of her room mates.

So all of that was a lot to handle. I am almost thankful for my hangover today so I just get to sit alone in Micah's room and process and rest. I feel like I have the flu due to my hangover and a cold at the same time due to my allergies...it would suck, but now that I'm not feeling like death anymore it's kind of lovely just to be forced to lay down and rest.

I also managed to twist my ankle last night. Giant bruise. HOT.

In other news. Something else significant just happened. I just mentally said goodbye to Number 2 on Facebook and deleted him as a friend. And I've decided that if he ever calls me again I won't be picking up. I am changing his name in my phone to "asshole-do not pick up". I was going to delete him from my phone but was afraid I would answer it not knowing who it was.
So goodbye Number 2.
I loved you and you broke my heart over and over again.
I hope someday someone makes your heart hurt as much as you hurt me so you know how it feels.

Lovelove.

Its MY Fucking Party and I Can Cry if I Want To.

Seriously.
This may be the worst birthday ever.
I am not saying it hasn't had it's awesome moments where I tried to stop and bottle them to save for later use.
But really.
Even if it was just a week like this I'd be exhausted, let alone my birthday week.
DAMN.

The Shit:
No one could go to Disneyland and a bunch of people can't come to my party tomorrow so I am already feeling pretty sad.
Then the Number 2 incident.
Then my car broke down.
Then the guy I thought was into me on my birthday night ended up making out with my friend.
Then allergy attack 2010 today.
Then just as I was about to fall apart at the grocery store picking up the last items for the party, the champagne fell down and broke all over the floor and exploded all over me and everywhere.

So yeah. Not awesome.

Still haven't heard a peep from Number 2. It's been a week since we've even communicated at this point. I've cried everyday since Sunday when I realized what was happening. Sometimes I won't even realize I'm crying because I'm so full of anger and disbelief at the same time.

The Lovely:
Got a cute hair cut on my birthday for free from my employers, its been a year and I am so happy to have nice hair again!
Had an awesome birthday dinner and margarita with Annie!
Got to talk to Cassie and Kelsey on the day of:)
Lots of sweet facebook messages which is always nice.
Had a FANTASTIC time out with friends dancing and drinking yummy drinks last night downtown.
Got my new housekeys today from Melissa and she gave me the tour to the mailboxes and our POOL and JACUZZI!
Bella is doing much better.
Mom got her port out today! No more cancer! yay!
Tomorrow is the big party and although I am stressed with too much planning, I am excited too.

I am hoping this weekend will perk things up...birthday party tomorrow night, birthday lunch with girl friends on Saturday, and family birthday on Saturday or Sunday too.

I am excited for next week to not be so stressful...I can just focus on packing and figuring my car situation out. Even though its fun things this week, I need sleep. I am trying to stay awake until 9.

Officially 25.

More Birthdays and Dates, oh my!

Oh man, WHAT A WEEKEND.
I cant even believe my life right now. As in, writing and seeing this in actual font is going to be SO strange for me. But here goes.

Friday night was girls night out for my birthday! Some highlights for your enjoyment:
-Stayed in Cammies beautiful hotel downtown, he got us into the Hard Rock for drinks and dancing. So nice!
-I made one of the more beautiful men Ive ever seen in my life dance with me after he started flirting with me first (so ha), but then he peaced out and I found him dancing with some other girl later...haha. Reasons why the pretty ones are always jerk faces, right?
-my favorite part was when I kept trying to do booty drops with my friends, but was so DONE I kept falling over EVERY time. But then id just try again...and again...oh yes, I was THAT girl.
-random not really that cute asian man fell in love with me. I vaguely recall this, but there are pictures to prove it. Once again, yes, I was THAT girl.
-I couldnt walk home (again, THAT girl), so Annie got me a cab back to the hotel. Apparently I kept trying to talk to our JAMAICAN cab driver in Spanish. And he gave me a rose for my birthday which I found in my bag in the morning.
-Annie changed me, put me to bed, got me a trash can and went back out to meet Jordan and Kelsey to party until the bars closed. haha.
-SO SICK all night, morning, and next day. Just as I said last year on my birthday, "I will never drink again"
-Apparently Kelsey and Jordan were sick too, so heres Annie (annie? your crazy friend annie? the one you took care of in Vegas? YEP, that one:) running all around the hotel changing us and giving us trash cans...I cant even imagine, too freaking hilarious.
-dont worry, threw up in the car on the way back home the next late morning too. Seriously, DONE.

So those are some highlights. I still cant believe it all really happened since I dont drink that much usually and us girls dont get to even go out that often and that ANNIE was our caregiver. Oh man Oh man. I cant do this crap anymore, im getting too old;)





SO THEN. I had a date with Number 2 in the evening. I couldnt even move without feeling sick (seriously, THAT girl), and hes all stressed with his big GMAT coming up so he asked if we could move our date to another time. Obviously, more than fine. BUT we both kind of missed each other, and after talking on the phone awhile wanted to see each other...so I made him come up here and we did something lame but relaxing and kind of nice together. We studied. yep. Went to Starbucks/B&N and attempted to study even though we really just wanted to be with each other. But I got some homework done, and he did too surprisingly. But he kept getting distracted with "how beautiful I am", haha, hes such a charmer. Then we went to the beach and "hung out" before I made it home by 8. I still really wasnt feeling good, but being with him made me forget about how I still felt like throwing up every minute (cute, right). So things with Number 2 are interesting. Its kind of freaking me out that we have such a connection on only the second date. We really just click. And he said it best, "I really enjoy spending time with you...its just so easy...". That really says it all. Its just effortless and easy. We are really comfortable with each other. But he keeps talking about future plans as if we were going to be a couple...and however sweet that is, its still only the second date. Shouldnt that weird me out? Or should I just go with whatever. But heres the thing about going with whatever, either you end up getting hurt or you end up having to numb yourself to emotion and I dont want that either. Maybe I just need to tell him I need to take it slow. Plus, I still keep thinking hes just being all nice and charming to get into my pants. He keeps trying to convince me otherwise, but I have zero trust in the male species for this stuff...but then I dont know if Im being too crazy and need to give him a chance. Gosh, this stuff is difficult. No wonder I avoided dating for so long. But, I guess its life. Have to learn how to live it somehow.

He prepared me for him to fall off the face of the planet for 10 days. His GMAT is the same day as my Teach for America interview, how crazy is that?! So hes studying like a mad man, which is fine. I actually have zero time this week to hang out anyway, bestie is coming to town!!! But I did tell him he should at least call me or something so I know hes not dead, and because its polite and I dont put up with that crap (I didnt use those words though, haha). So we'll see how he does.

Tonight is my final birthday celebration! Out to dinner with the family to Ki's! Im excited to see my aunt and uncle and little lukey and sammy pop. Plus brother is coming! Plus, they have vegan food there! Yayyyyyy!

hmm...
I think even though Im potentially leaving next fall, I want to fall in love. I miss love. Its been a long time.

Ok, thats all.

Updates!

Birthday was FABULOUS! Yesterday I turned 24 (SO OLD!).
I know its not technically "old" but I just FEEL old.
Like, where has the time gone?! so crazy!
so OBVIOUSLY Bianca, Danielle, and Alyssa escorted me to Disneyland for the day! And OBVIOUSLY Bianca and Danielle made us each a tutu to wear all day! And OBVIOUSLY we all wore Micky ears and had such a great time!
Highlights include:
-literally, DANCING IN THE PARADE!!!
-literally, doing magic tricks at a table with just us, creepy magician, and WOODY from toystory!
-getting one of each dessert from the Blue Bayou, Id never been!
-using our wait in line time as photoshoot 2009 time
-making friends with EVERYONE because they all loved our little tutus
-having everyone wish me happy birthday all day at the park:)
-laughing so much all day it was OOC! (out of control. get used to it)
-everyone being SO tired from such a long day, but kept playing around in the park because we were having fun and didnt want to leave/were delirious.
-Danielle getting a speeding ticket on the way home because we were all laughing and not paying attention:(





Hopefully your our friends on Facebook, because we have lots more pictures on there! and by lots, I of course mean a ridiculous amount.

ALSO
birthDAY I heard from Americorp Teach for America letting me know I have made it to the final interview!!! It will be in LA on October 20th!!! I get to stay with Kathleen the night before and the night after the interview so Im extra excited! Such great birthday news!

ALSO
guess who called on my birthday? NUMBER 2. yeah, thats right. Number 2! He called to wish me happy birthday! (I couldnt believe he remembered, because I only off hand mentioned it once...I think...) and to ask me out again of course. We're on for Saturday as of right now. I dont know what we're going to do yet. But Ill keep you updated, dont worry.

ALSO
One called. He left a message, but I dont have his number. So I think Im just not going to call him back. I felt bad for like 5 seconds, but then it passed, haha. But if he calls again Ill talk to him and tell him something...but if not, then sweet. He called also to wish me happy birthday, which was so sweet.