Sorry it took me forever. I know some of you are probably crawling out of your skin wondering what happened, but I am sick and not writing obviously means bad news...I just couldn't bare to write yet. You had to settle for the hilarious Britney post.
So basically, I finally got a hold of him last night at 1am...I couldn't sleep anyway...and I got it out of him (I could tell it was hard for him)...me being out until 6a and calling him was too hard for him. He didn't know if I was ok, who I was with, what was going on...and just felt like something was going to happen and he wouldn't even know and would end up hurt. I think we just haven't had enough time together to establish a trust, because he has no idea how careful and safe I am out there. I tried to tell him. I tried to explain that I am careful, am always with my friends who look out for me, and that I LOVE having a boyfriend and don't feel the need to be "free". But I wasn't pleading. Just informing.
He is more of a stay at home book guy...I mean, he goes out and is fun and everything, but its kind of a new thing for him. He said it wouldn't be an issue for me to go out if I was back in socal because he would know where I was and who I was with and could come get me if something terrible happened. But the time change, not knowing who I am with, and just being here made it too difficult for him.
My girls have been telling me the same ol cliche stuff...
"better to know now, then later..."
"your too good for him, if he can't see how great you are..."
"everything happens for a reason..."
you know the drill.
But I feel pretty shitty. And the record in my head keeps playing that I fucked this up by moving away and by calling him at 6a a lot kinda drunk. But I called him so he would know I was home safe and that I missed him...I tried really hard. I did everything I was supposed to. I also gave him a lot of shit for trying to end things the way he did with the weird email and then not responding. He felt bad, as he should, jack ass.
So the plan is to sit in just being sad awhile. Which works out because I am home deathly ill the rest of the week anyway. Funny movie, wine, and chocolate night tonight with the roomie. Spa day on Saturday with my besties here. And hopefully booking an awesome trip for Easter break. I am hoping to be back to my "single and fabulous" self here in a few weeks...I mean, we go out and party every weekend and live it up...it'll just be different now. Now I can actually listen to the hoards of propositions I get every weekend for attractive men...and just see what happens I guess. Even though I am so over that scene. But maybe I'll feel better about it around May 15th when its been A YEAR since I've had sex.
Even though I don't feel it yet, we're back ladies. Back to being single and fabulous.
Now lets go put the BRAT back in Bratislava.
xoxo
HL
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