Sunday, April 10, 2011

Sad Hearts.

Sorry for the lack of posts this week, I managed to get sick Monday and instead of staying home-going to the doctor-or getting medicine...I just kept going to work and went out all weekend too, so of course its now Sunday and I am STILL sick and feel like shit. Plus, I have managed to almost completely loose my voice too.

BUT it was another lovely weekend. Some drama of course...Friday at the club roomie got roughed up by the bouncers and bitchy bar tenders for no reason...a small fight between girl friends...and last night we tried to incorporate a new friend who ended up being SO weird and rude by the end of the evening so between that and the new weird club we were trying...things ended oddly. But Sunday brunch with everyone today (excluding the weird guy for obvious reasons) was wonderful, and one of my new girl friends is going to take me to the mall to get my sickness taken care of and maybe attempt to fix my iPhone...AGAIN. I think I will probably call in sick to work tomorrow too. I can barely talk as it is, let alone to yell at the kids all day.

In other news...

Things with PAG were PERFECT again last week. We talked every night before I went to bed, even video skyped a bit, and it was just all around back to normal. Well, as normal as two long distance people who are busy can be. But then, again, this week he plays this vanishing act and it's becoming so hurtful. He was missing my calls but not calling me back, he finally called me on Wednesday but we had friends over so I snuck out to chat with him briefly and then said "I'm staying home tomorrow so lets have one of our epic 2 hour convos tomorrow night, ok?". Thursday comes, I send the roomie out on the town and snuggle in to have a chat with him. He doesn't respond to my text. Hasn't replied to my emails. Isn't picking up my calls or calling me back. And Friday even sent me a blank email with the subject being:

"you are freed"

What does that even MEAN?! I really don't know, but with the sudden lack of communication AND the weird email...I am hurt and annoyed and...well, mostly just hurt. Early last night I wrote him a nice but direct "WTF?" email and when I came home at 5a to NO response...not even a missed I cried myself to sleep. We had friends staying over but the roomie just loved me and then put me to bed and let me be sad. My other girl friend crept into bed with me later and made sure I was ok too.

I am just tired of feeling this way. One week we love life, and the next week I am ignored. I keep blaming myself for moving away or for being so social so it probably threatens him. But EVERY week, even though I go out a lot...I am SO well behaved. My roomie was even encouraging me...
me: I mean, I don't even really flirt with anyone else!
roomie: um, come on, you don't flirt AT ALL.

And its true. So why am I still blaming myself if HE'S the one being an asshole?

Fellow females, why do we do this?


No comments: