Wednesday, September 08, 2010

Stella Was A Diver And She Was Always Down.

WELL last night was a BLAST! SS, Micah, my friend Allison, and I all ventured to LA LA Land to see a free Interpol show. OH MAN WAS IT AMAZING. First of all, I am always impressed with how easy going and sweet SS gets along with whoever we are with...he is so chill its really nice. And everyone I brought together for the show surprisingly had a lot in common and we all had fun together. INTERPOL WAS SO WONDERFUL. It was a sweet little intimate show in the Urban Outfitters parking lot in was the first time I was in LA and wasn't dying to leave...I was actually sad to go. I just love the city...but LA is always so obnoxious, this time it was a little more urban and reminded me of NYC so I was happy.

I always have fun with SS, but I am having a hard time being attracted to him and being excited about our future. When we go out I am almost "embarrassed" to be considered his girl out in, I feel so pretty and hot and I'm with this guy? But I know he won't break my heart and his personality is great besides the pot smoking issue...but I still need someone I want to rip their clothes off and throw me against a wall...and I don't feel that with him at all.

Plus Interpol is one of Number 2's favorite bands (it's something we sing to each other) and I knew he was bummed I was there with another guy (mwahaha)...but I was a little bummed too. It was something I would have liked to share with him, he would have asked the tall guys to move for me, and driven, and held my hand while we sang along to STELLA!!!...and it would be nice if SS TOUCHED ME IN PUBLIC SOMETIMES. I am super affectionate and used to Number 2 who is always grabbing me or touching a super sweet way or sometimes just overt sexual way because thats how we ROLL...I am not used to SS who wouldn't even kiss me goodnight in front of Micah because he didn't want it to be weird. But he held my hand in the car on the way home and rubbed my arm and we had so much fun laughing and talking...I mean we DO have a good time together...and he does treat me well...and he is intentional in spending time with me. It's just hard with the attraction issue I feel from time to time...I don't know what's normal. Does it come in time or am I supposed to want him right now like I did with Number 2?

Number 2 and I keep non chalantley talking about getting married and our kids it's normal. Which I didn't realize was weird until today. Opps.

Not counting on Number 2 to get it together and want to be with me.
Not sure what to do with SS.

Oh and don't worry, Friday I am hanging out with SS before he goes to LA for the weekend...then Saturday night I'm going out with Number 2. Just the usual round these parts. Whatever.

No comments: