Wednesday, September 01, 2010

The Kiss.

Well, the kiss finally happened. And boy did it HAPPEN! But we'll get to that...

Unfortunately the little french place was closed due to a "kitchen emergency" (?), so we went next door for really fancy yummy italian. We ate outside, attempted to share a bottle of wine, ate amazing food, and just laughed and easily talked like we always do. It's always so nice to spend time with SS...I really love it. One MAJOR thing bothered me though...first of all, he was wearing just jeans and a t shirt and whatever shoes when either way we were going to a nice place, then he sat indian style in his chair which I teased him about but he just laughed it off and reminded me that "he didn't care, whatever", then when the guy came to let him try the little wine before he poured mine...I could tell he didn't know what to do for a second, and never remembered to re pour my wine- the waiter did. If you know me, you know I love to get dressed up...go to nice places...etc...I am also really casual too so I need someone who is a chameleon like me, can one minute be out and hot and sexy- and the next minute be at the dive bar...but even then, dive bars aren't even really my scene. Then again, we were talking about the icky dive bar down the street and he was the one to say, "its not really how we roll". So I think he knows. I dont know, it was just hard for me. I am used to Number 2 and even whats-his-name from last year who took me to nice places, knew all the rules and manners, and we looked like we belonged together and belonged there. And not in a "I want to belong" type of way...but in a...I already do and I don't know if I can go out with a guy who the waiter rolls his eyes at all evening. So this is something I need to think about, maybe I am the weird one?

So after a long but lovely dinner, we went back to his place down the way and watched The Life Aquatic. We were sitting really close together and hes so cute, he goes "Will it, like, freak you out if I touch you?" I laughed at him and said of course not, so he had his hand on my leg...and we held hands...snuggled real was SO nice. He's told me quite a few times how important it is to him to not be creeper, even with me, its so...refreshing. Then we were doing the thing where we were talking really close and eyeing each other (just like during the movie the other night and when we were talking at the car...seriously a scene out of "Kiss the Girl" from the Little Mermaid) and finally he just said, "Would it freak you out if I kissed you right now?" OBVIOUSLY NOT, so we did:) So we kissed for a little while, then finished watching the movie. It was over at like he asked if I wanted to watch another one...and he wanted me to see his favorite "American Psycho" which is really weird, but was pretty good...well, from what I got to see. Because HOT make out session began and lasted during the entire middle of the film. I mean, I've had hot make out sessions before sex or before the guy THOUGHT we were going to have sex...but I haven't had a good one like this since high school...when both parties knew we weren't going to have sex and just went for it with all clothing on. SO fun. Although he did ask me, "do you want to go in my room", but I just said no and we continued on.
UM...he didn't try and take off my clothes or even touch my boobs. It was so nice. I didn't even think he would, I wasn't concerned the entire time that he was going to try and take it too far...for once I just relaxed and enjoyed myself because I know he's so respectful of me.

Except his beard hurts my face A LOT. I'm not even sure how to deal with this...any ideas?

Afterwards we snuggled even more, finished the movie...were both so sleepy and he had to work at like 7a, but he just kept talking to me and I could tell he didn't want me to leave, not that he wanted me to sleepover, just that he didn't want me to leave because he enjoys my company:) Then randomly he asked me,
"so, you like me huh"
"haha yeah. you make me laugh. you like me?"
"yeah, your pretty funny too. You make me happy...thats important"

Then I invited him to my friends little get together on Saturday night...he said sure...which was already so weird since Number 2 never did ANYTHING when I asked or with my friends...and sadly I am still waiting for him to back out because thats what Im used to.

After such a great night...and even during the make out...I was and am still having a hard time missing Number 2. I don't know if I can even talk about it yet since I'm still processing what I'm feeling...but I don't know how to even invest in someone new when my heart is so attached to someone else. I don't know if its fair that when I am kissing SS I wish I was kissing Number 2. I also don't know if thats just normal and will go away in time. I also think that I wouldn't even be thinking about Number 2 if it wasn't for what happened on Saturday...since I haven't thought about Number 2 during any of the other dates prior to seeing him. It's so hard for me to imagine, or even want, to be intimate with anyone else. ever. I am frustrated with my feelings since this great guy is so sweet and fun and I just can't get it together.

No dates until Saturday...if Saturday even works out since I keep thinking he'll back out...but I am ready for a break. I will oddly miss SS since I just love being with him so much...I just can't explain how comfortable and easy it is to be with him. It's the same way with Number 2 actually, but there is always all this tension because he won't commit to me.

Also during my break I will get an Annie fix since we havent hung out in forever since shes been housesitting. And of course she got into shenanigans last night while I was out. She made out with the one other neighbor neither of us had made out with. Fantastic job Annie. And sent me this text during my dinner...
"Please notea. Bow that im home im sribking qith the neighbrs"
I laughed so even came after a voicemail of even more shenanigans which I cannot repeat...even on here. I really mustn't leave her alone so long. gosh.

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