Monday, February 27, 2012

She's Going The Distance.

Kurt Halsey

Mr. Boyfriend and I aren't engaged or married yet (even though we have been known to go ring shopping together...but that is all for the future, don't worry), so our story may not have a movie ending just yet. Or even ever! Who knows! BUT we are professionals at long distance and have been for about 6 months now. I feel like it's important that I am here to tell you that it can work and can be pretty amazing, especially if you both know its only for a certain amount of time and if you're both in a good place to be able to take it on.

For instance, I have realized through this relationship (and from Mr. Boyfriend comparing my awesomeness to the crazies he's dated before me) that I've become a pretty well-balanced and confident woman apparently. And Mr. Boyfriend and I have both been through so much before luckily meeting each other, we value each other and what we have and don't want to ruin things. SO if you have both of those going for you, long distance really isn't as horrible as people make it out to be. Just in case you're considering it...or will one day...

The Basics:

-We don't freak out when one of us goes out with our friends, in fact I try on my cute outfits and show him on skype. We encourage normal social behavior and aren't scared we're going to cheat on each other the entire time because we are confident in our hearts for each other. Of course it crosses my mind and I'd ask questions if things were suspicious. But they aren't, so I don't.

-I don't get angry when I don't hear from him for a little bit, but at the same time we talk everyday anyway so its never been an issue. He makes a serious effort (if your man doesn't, then maybe your crazy is warranted and he needs to be reconsidered!!! Seriously!!) and I make a serious effort too. We love talking to each other so its rather easy.

-Technology is your friend! With smart phones you can always be logged onto chat platforms, so basically we're both texting all day for free anyway like any other normal couple. And he calls me from work so we can talk on the phone for hours most days of the week too! PLUS we skype when we're both home at the same time. See? Probably more talking time then with your significant others who DO live in town! And you know what? Talking SO much has built this serious and sweet friendship between us I wouldn't trade for anything.

-Technology is your friend, but it isn't everything. Technology is great for the day to day but I think our extra stuff is what really shows our love for each other. This awesome girlfriend hand made a little journal with writings all about him and my heart as I fell in love with him. Complete with stupid heart stickers. Plus I made him "mix tapes" on a little USB stick and attached a home made booklet all about the music I sent. THEN made him his favorite cookies and sent him a novel I knew he'd love. Valentines Day couldn't have been sweeter! I even stocked up on local post cards and stamps and just keep them in my car to stamp and send every week or so with a little love note. And HE sends me gifts he orders from Amazon, or flowers, or bears...or vibrators. For holidays or just because. They're always thoughtful and keep the love alive. Handwritten letters or even silly drawings are also a hit.

-Keeping busy has been hard since I have been unemployed and broke most of the time, but learning to entertain myself (and enjoy being alone!) happened while I lived in Slovakia and I find it so useful now as I just don't have a boyfriend physically around to spend time with. I am still ok though when he goes out with his friends or is busy and we cant chat and watch movies at the same time together at least, I just do my own thing at home or already had plans with friends anyway! The trick is to not be a psycho waiting around for him all the time. Make time for him, but dont wait around for his call or whatever. If he calls while you're out with your friends you can just step out for a bit and chat, make a talking date for later, and BOOM boyfriend still intact but NOT a psycho!

Ideas for Things To Send:
-cookies or brownies! Or other random favorite foods or drink mixes
-books or magazines you know they'd like
-love dovey handwritten letters or post cards
-a pair of your panties (so going in my next one, hahaha)
-random pictures that made you think of them (thanks for this one Sarah!)
-sexy pictures if you're into that

Ideas For Things To Do:
Unemployed? Don't have any single friends who aren't always on the man hunt? Don't want to hang out with other couples all the time alone either? Enjoy being alone! Fill your time with...
-Baking fun things for yourself, friends, parties, or your man
-Blogging, pinning, reading the news, blogs, twitter, etc. Seriously, I spend hours doing this a day.
-Start a new TV series and don't feel guilty for watching it all day with your dog
-Clean and organize your shit or volunteer to help out your messy parents/friends
-Teach yourself a new useful hobby like painting furniture, building something, sewing, etc.
-Volunteer your time with kids, old people, animals, nature, whatever!
-Exercise. Bonus! It helps release the stress you're carrying from not having sex!
-Drink alone and read in bed. A personal favorite.

I know everyone thinks we're crazy for being SO in love and how we seriously talk about our future after being together such a short time and for pretty much all of it being a part.

But we aren't the first ones to make it work, and we won't be the last.

Don't lose heart in love quite yet.



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