Thursday, March 01, 2012

A Girls Life.

Nope, will never look like a Victorias Secret model

As I find myself having a hard time getting used to having Mr. Boyfriend gushing over how beautiful and hot I am all the time, my mind has begun to rattle with "Why is this so hard for me to hear and believe?" And when he talks about how he sees himself in the mirror vs. how I see myself, the clear difference between men and women is evident.

What Mr. Boyfriend Sees:
How awesome he is and checks out his (HUGE) muscles to see where he needs to make improvements. Thats it. Seriously.

What Girls See:
"Damn my thighs are out of control, I need to stop eating, why does my stomach DO that, I need to get my hair done, I need to go on a diet, I need to exercise more, are those MY pores, I look so tired, I need to go on a diet, why can't I look like Beyonce, I wonder if people notice my arms are so flabby, I should start running, maybe I'll go on a fast..."

If we're being honest, the more self confidence I have gained in the last year the voices in the mirror have lessened, changed, or sometimes don't even come around. Instead of "damn your fat, you need to go on a diet, no man will ever love THAT" she's gotten a little nicer with, "I think I may have gained a few pounds...hmm yeah I did...ok, time to eat a little healthier and actually move my ass a bit". So it would appear at 26 we've finally made some progress in how we see ourselves. I'll admit, I've recently realized I've grown up with quite the body dysmorphia. Watching Biggest Loser with Annie I admitted I used to think (and still sometimes do) that I looked similar to their before pictures.

Literally, her mouth hung open in shock. "UH, NO". 

But can you blame me? The only women I've ever seen are either Victorias Secret models plastered everywhere OR people with "weight problems" as contestants on shows like the Biggest Loser. No one was on TV just for being normal sized. 

It's hard to explain to men why we are the way we are with our bodies. Thank goodness women's self esteem issues have been brought out into the media spotlight a bit more in recent years with the Dove Self Esteem Campaign, more normal sized models getting media time, and more articles and books being publicized about young women's bodies. Growing up in southern California where we are OBSESSED with how we look and being healthy, I find its hard to keep the balance between obsession over weight loss diets, exercise regimes OR just doing whatever. I am always caught between two extremes. I'm sure many "yo yo dieters" can fist bump me on that one; going all extreme for a few weeks or months and then getting burnt out and miss french fries and are sick of counting calories or points so its back to only semi giving a shit. Currently I am trying to get back on track of eating healthy 70% of the time (or during the week) so that 30% of the time or on the weekends I can indulge in someones birthday cake, carbs, and excessive alcohol consumption. Even as simple as that sounds, its not easy. So I've decided to add a little exercising to my regime too. And since I'm poor and unemployed that really only equals "Unemployment Walking" and/or "Awkward Weight Lifting With Old Crap You Found In Your Parents House". But when I do have a job one of my first exciting purchases is going to be a yoga studio month pass. I've noticed that even my 70% healthy eating and just walking or yoga genuinely helps fight off my depression, anxiety, stress, and lets be honest- I want to be more bendy and sustainable for sex.

So I suppose, finally at the ripe old age of 26 we're finally focusing more on just being healthy and have realized we will never look like Gisele...and perhaps more importantly, don't even want to.



Favorite Health Inspiring and Body Image Loving Sites

Hungry Girl: Healthy eating for real women

Girl With Curves: Style blog for real women

Goop: I just love Gwenyth Paltrow's website, all about a well rounded healthy lifestyle

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