Why Am I Allowed To Bake Cakes?

Seriously, every time I try and make a proper cake it ends up falling over/melting/being weird in some way. Double layer cakes and I are now officially ENEMIES. However, THIS time I've pinpointed my failures and instead of writing how to make an awesome home made cake- this is going to be a "How To Not Fuck Your Cake Up". Also, you can laugh at my failures.

TIPS:

-Always check that you have ALL your needed ingredients before beginning. Physically look...otherwise you end up having to go to the store in the middle of baking because your room mates surprise! -ate the eggs you thought you had.

-I learned this last time, take your butter out before you begin baking if it requires room temperature butter. DONT melt it in the microwave because it makes your recipe all sticky and angry. I put mine outside in the sun for a cheatsies though.

-If parts of the cake are angry and falling, use tooth picks to hold them together. Do NOT just put them together and frost it anyway...as you will see why.

-WAIT UNTIL THE CAKES ARE COOLED COMPLETELY before frosting anything. Seriously.

I used Martha Stewert's Versatile Vanilla Cake recipe because it seemed relatively easy and her picture looked so pretty. Turns out its also SO FREAKING DELICIOUS. You're welcome.

Ingredients

1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature (more if you want to butter your pans instead of spraying them like I did)
2.5 cups all purpose flour (or equivalent of cake flour)
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1.5 cups sugar
2 large eggs
3 large egg yolks
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 cup low-fat buttermilk

Directions
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a medium bowl whisk the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.

2. In a large bowl using an electric mixer beat the butter and sugar until light and fluffy. With the mixer on low beat in eggs and yolks one at a time. Beat in vanilla. Alternatively beat in flour mixture and buttermilk, beginning and ending with flour mixture. Mix well until combined.

3. Divide batter between pans, smooth tops. Bake until cakes pull away from the sides of the pans, 32-35 minutes. Let cool in pans 10 minutes then run a knife around edges of the pans and invert the cakes onto a wire rack. LET COOL COMPLETELY (this is key my friends, key)

4. Place one cake, bottom side up on a cake stand. Using a table knife, spread top with frosting. Top with remaining cake, frost the top and then sides.

I couldn't figure out how to make her delicious looking whipped frosting recipe (hold the metal bowl over the boiling water but dont immerse it? WHAT?) so I just used the butter frosting recipe on the back of my powdered sugar bag. However, due to how the cake turned out, as you will see, I am NOT recommending it.

Uh. Yeah. Melting droopy angry birthday cake for my parents 50th birthday party. SEE why I need toothpicks and to wait until its all cooled to frost it. Not to mention a better frosting recipe. Damn. BUT I will say, it tasted so good and the cake inside is 10x better then any box cake so it wasn't a complete failure. Plus if you are a beginner baker, cooking for family who will eat any kind of cake and only minorly tease you is the best audience.

Now go spread your new found wisdom on some poor defenseless cake.

xoxo

HL