Stupid.

Dear Lord, my friends are stupid. And boys are stupid. All wrapped into one big stupid pile.

Scene 1
Everyone convinced me that at the party the other night Z was trying to get my attention, was jealous of the birthday boy, his hand holding and kiss attempts were NOT because he was drunk but because he was "so into you".

Scene 2
After several more fun nights out, Z is still not making ANY moves. Even when drinking a bottle of wine romantically by the river and sleeping an entire night next to me in bed.

Cue a necessary conversation:

Me: are you into me like a friend or INTO me like...you know. Because you've been sending mixed signals.

Z: (LAUGHS) why would you even think that?

Me: UHHHHH because every time you drink your alllll over me, and I think its because your drunk but everyone keeps telling me that your into me.

Z: (laughs) what? what did I do?

Me: tried to hold my hand several times, tried to kiss me, etc.

Z: oh. thats just because I was drunk.

Me: figured. but everyone else convinced me. ok.

Z: I mean...I like the way things are between us, don't you?

Me: yeah, Im fine. I dont care either way, I just wanted to know.

Z: so...we're cool, right? (insert fist bump here)

exit ME who goes to bed annoyed and frustrated with men who hit on you when they're drunk and use it as an excuse, and friends who over analyze things incorrectly when you knew in your heart you were right to begin with.

Scene 3
Z chats with roomie and says now its weird between us and she gives HIM shit for being the idiot- thank God. Haven't heard from him since, ME continues to be annoyed.

So we're now officially back on the totally single in Europe track- yahoo!

But now that roomie has a serious boyfriend and I am often playing the role of 3rd wheel...I miss having someone serious too. It was fun when we were both single or both had someone, but the imbalance is strange. I am home alone while they go out and she wants me to come but I have to convince her, "its a DATE roomie, with your BOYFRIEND, I am not coming!". And I think she really wanted Z and I to work out because the 4 of us got on so well.

I've been feeling so weird today. I am supposed to get my period but am on new birth control so it won't come, and my brain is all confused and analytical about everything and I'm so tired and lazy. I just felt grumpy and lonely all day.

Ok, friends finally invited me out- time to drink away the grump.

PS: 12 days until I am HOME! I am starting to get so excited!!!