Friday, July 22, 2011

No Ones Surprised.

Ok, it's not like PAG is ignoring me per say...he responds to my little texts and emails nicely and timely.

It's just that I haven't received anything from him first, and NOTHING from him regarding weekend plans. I knew Monday night was tough for him because of work, so I assumed the lack of plans with me for the rest of the week was because of this. But now that it's Friday, and still NOTHING, I am starting to be sad again.

I don't know why I expected more from him, it's almost mean of me to try and expect something from him when I am leaving again. But the way he acted on Monday convinced me he was seriously interested again. I didn't initiate anything except "catching up over dinner", everything else was in his court, and everything else included sweet sensual time together.

So I am a bit sad. Preoccupied. And anxious.

Plus, it seriously makes me reconsider staying in Slovakia for more then the next few months. Why would I stay somewhere where I can't really put roots down? My heart is ready to be serious with someone (even if its not PAG), start working up on a long term career somewhere, save money and settle a little more...instead I am running back to a place where I have one actual bestie who is also just floating from thing to thing like an unsatisfied 19 year old trying to "find themselves", a partying lifestyle which is rather fun but not at all useful, and a job that is insecure and stressful. All while trying to navigate men who are there even more temporarily then I am. I guess turning 26 in the fall and having nothing to show for it also has me thinking. Arg.

No comments: