Saturday, July 23, 2011


Make time for me?

Finally I texted PAG Friday evening with a,

"So are you just swamped with work or do you not want to see me again?"

His response was immediate and verified he's been super busy all week and that hes sorry, he's been used to the single life. We discussed the weekend since I was hoping he would have time then, but he's going to a lecture in LA all weekend and promised to make it up to me next week. Not sure how to proceed on this one, he's always been super busy even when I was here before and when we were long distancing while I was in Europe. Now, I'm in town after being gone for 6 MONTHS and he couldn't even spare more then one night for me in a week? And do I really want to mess with someone who doesn't know how to manage their stress and time?

However. Let's not get all cra cra just yet. Just because I came into town doesn't mean he can stop his life for me again, and would it even be wise to do that? It would be all intense again and I would leave and then what. Maybe it's better to spread things out a bit anyway. Plus, I know hes right about being used to being single. He's an introverted 30 year old whose been very single and working his ass off in physics for how many years?

So this got me thinking.

Where is the balance between being an awesome single person who works hard, plays hard, travels, enjoys life- and doesn't need a significant other to do it- BUT fills their schedule so full that when a great person does come along...they don't have time for them. They work long hours, have activities everyday after work, and their weekends are booked with fun or work things way in advance. The contrary is those sad single people who just work and come home, watch tv, eat a lean cuisine...maybe have some friend plans on the weekend or just clean their flat...basically Liz Lemon. So where is the balance?

PAG is not the only guy I know in this situation. We all know I have dated other men who were "too busy" for valid reasons to spend as much time with me as I felt appropriate. Men who worked long hours, had serious gym schedules, were studying for the GMAT, were finishing their PhD, preparing to run a marathon, fill in the blank here. And I have guy friends who tried to date women who were leading the same kind of lives and they tried to pursue them but booking 2 weeks ahead of time wasn't very appealing. Where could anything go if they didn't even have time to date?

I suppose we all know the answer. Fill your schedule as much as you want with the things you love. When the right person comes along, you're supposed to MAKE time for them. But I just don't know how to proceed when these boys tell me they really really like me, but that they are just busy for now and to give them a break and they promise to make it up to me...

With that being said, dating sucks. I'm so over it.

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