Monday, July 18, 2011


WHY do we have to have these amazing men in our lives that will never, for one reason or another, work out as a dating relationship? WHY do they even exist besides to frustrate the hell out of me.

Take Z for example. One of my favorite friends I've made in Bratislava. I am extremely attracted to him, we always have these amazing conversations, the first person there I have things in common with, the list goes on. But of course, he's also kind of a crazy person, annoys the crap out of me sometimes, and hits on me every time hes drunk but swears when he's sober he doesn't want anything with me. Cue me having to veto every time he makes a move on me, which isn't always easy when I'm attracted to him too. Fun times.

Then there's Africa. Also one of the sweetest guys ever, so smart and well educated, attractive, sensitive, attentive, loving...but his priorities are all about improving himself and women are kind of on the back burner during this time of his life. Plus, he's trying to apply to jobs that will let him live other places long term- I can't get seriously involved with someone like that so we just stay friends...annnnnd sometimes hook up before I leave for San Diego for like 2 months.

Finally -insert here- the many amazing men that I meet who are either living in Bratislava temporarily or live in San Diego and I am the temporary one. Everything will be there...attraction, things in common, chemistry, you name it...but we can't even attempt anything because one of us is leaving all too soon and we like each other too much to just hook up. Times like these I want to punch timing in the face and almost wish I had never even met these gentleman.

I suppose it part of the age we live in. All of us are in our mid to late twenties trying to start careers, "find ourselves", and focus on getting our own shit together while also trying to meet someone else and have something worthwhile to give them. Everyone is moving around trying to figure things just makes it hard to find anything substantial.

With all of that being said, I have official dinner plans with PAG this evening and am already freaking out. I know its going to be wonderful and perfect which is probably why I am freaking out to begin with. What do I do with this fantastic person sitting across from me?

Wish me luck.


Harper Lane.

No comments: