Monday, January 09, 2012


"Sweat pants, hair tied, chillen with no make up on, 
that's when your the prettiest, 
I hope that you don't take it wrong"- Drake

Theres this weird thing that happens with you know someone has totally fallen for you (and hey, it helps if they're long distance too). It's like you finally feel so absolutely beautiful and loved for who you are and how you look, you just stop fussing so damn much. I think many people call it "letting yourself go", which typically has negative connotations, but in someway it's really just a woman freeing herself of all the pressures facing her everyday. Do you know how much work it is to look hot all the time in order to attract a man? And even if you just cover the basics, it's like constant grooming is needed at all times! Let's make a simple list just to get started of the constant expectations on a woman considered to be beautiful:

1. keeping hair color updated every 4-6 weeks
2. keeping hair looking fresh and pretty everyday
3. keeping finger nails looking decent every 1-2 weeks
4. keeping toenails looking decent every 2-4 weeks
5. sunshine or lotion so you dont look like a vampire
6. shaving legs 2-3x/week
7. shaving under arms every other day
8. shaving or waxing lady every 2-4 weeks
9. flossing and brushing teeth everyday
10. whitening teeth
11. professional cleanings 2x/year
12. eating healthy and maintaining or constantly trying to lose weight
13. exercising every day or a few times a week
14. contacts or hip glasses
15. eye brows
16. face care
17. birth control
18. perfumes and/or nice smelling lotions
19. cute clothes and accessories
20. makeup

Ok, so some of these most men also do...but they really only care about the basics and thats because thats what WE care about and they want to be close to us so they do it. Otherwise, I doubt men would even change their clothes or brush their teeth everyday. And HELLO the expense of all this crap just to be a normal woman is just downright ridiculous.

And now for the first time, I genuinely feel free. Ok, so I am back on a diet after gaining weight over the last few months, and most of these I will continue to do just because I am super girly and enjoy the pampering/break from life. But the amazing feeling that comes with not HAVING to do them in order to attract a man or keep a man is so inspiring! For instance, my eye prescription expired, my last pair of contacts ripped the other day, and I somehow lost my newer glasses, so until I get paid over the weekend and can afford the $50-$100 for the appointment and another $40 for the box of contacts I am  stuck wearing these old black glasses I forgot even existed.

But do I care? NOPE. And even while birthday boy was here I didn't shave my under arms, pluck my eyebrows everyday, wear make up, style my hair, etc. And did he care? Oh, hell no. I was naked, wearing no make up, hadn't washed my hair in 2 days when I caught him staring and he said the echoing, 
"every time I look at you, I say to myself 'wow, how did you manage to get this one?'"

In fact, he's said a version of this more than once! And never when I'm all decked out in my little hooker dresses and fake eye lashes, I mean he loves that, but not in the same way. It's always when I'm wearing make up...naked with all the parts I think are ugly about my body fully exposed. That's when he values me the most?

But that, my friends, is what love feels like. 



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