Long Distance.

I guess I forgot what people say about long distance...and what I used to say after the failure with PAG actually. Here I am just skipping along, and yes- the distance sucks but its been doable and ok for us at the same time, and then BAM uncle exclaims at the whole table for everyone to hear "long distance never works!" at last nights family dinner. Wow, thanks. 

At least I still have my good girl friends (and even my parents surprisingly) who are supportive and keep whispering in my ear "long distance CAN work if you both want it to" when I am feeling blue. Plus, a man who pursues the crap out of me and spent years away from his previous girlfriend without ever cheating on her- I trust him. I've definitely seen both sides of military men...the ones in Bratislava who had girlfriends back home and were still sleeping around...and the ones who loved their girls back home and while everyone was out partying they were in their rooms skyping with her and couldn't be happier. I literally know birthday boy isn't out being a nut because he's in his room happily talking to me most Friday and Saturday nights. Plus, I think he sees his Brazil world around him...and how superficial everything is when you're only there a year...it seems like he really values our friendship more than anything else (which is how it should be). This is his last embassy tour, he's been doing a year or two in different countries for almost 5 years now. I learned the whole difference and value between real friends and superficial ones after my first 6 months in Europe- he must be an expert. Plus, he's like me- it's not even really that fun to go out anymore after you've been partying for so long...and when the person you want to party with isn't even there. His words:

"Its like...not even fun going out anymore. The entire time I'm thinking, 'oh my girl would look better in that dress'...'that girl isn't as hot as mine'...'I wish she were here'"

teehee he likes me.

So we still socialize and everything, but its kind of hard to notice anyone else in the room when you're head over heels for someone else. But I'm not going to deny this shit is hard...it just doesn't feel impossible. And he's so on board and serious about it why would I even argue?

But now that he's gone it does feel like all of the air and life have been sucked completely out of me. I don't think it helps that I'm broke and don't have work. Theres nothing to do but either clean (oh fun) or  fiddle around missing him.