After some analyzation and talks with the girls, I don't think I am really dealing with my emotions with everything that happened with Number 2 and SS very well. I think I am just avoiding feeling things about it until it just bubbles up randomly and I'll start crying all of a sudden when it someone brings it up or when a song comes on or something. Basically, besides writing on here and sitting and thinking, I haven't dealt with my feelings WHATSOEVER. No journaling, praying (I'm a prayer), counseling, reading, nothing.
Isn't it normal to just be so angry and hurt you don't want to deal with it? I am doing a very good job of distracting myself with the move, and looking for a new job, and my past birthday, and everything. Or am I supposed to just sit and be sad and read about how to get over it and journal and be all sad all the time? Where is the in between on this, between avoidance and depression.
So I think I am going to consider therapy. I have insurance for it I think, and it helped me A LOT to get over my break up when I was in high school and got all depressed and messed up. And because a few good friends have kind of suggested it might help me process things. It's not just the break up. I have had a shitty year of people dying, moms cancer, swine flu, and family financial problems...this is just the icing on the cake.
Is it weird that I am telling all of you this?
probably.
But really, this is following entires about me purchasing a new Vibe, so Im pretty sure nothing will surprise you anymore.
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