Still Weird.

So of course I am still processing ALL of the men in my life stopping all communication with me for no foreseeable reason. And how shitty it makes me feel about myself...even though all of my girls keep reminding me there is NO reason I should feel bad about myself when they're the assholes.

The stuff with SS sucked because it was still rejection when I was already feeling rejected from Number 2...he was sick and said he would "call me tomorrow" and I never heard from him again. I was going to talk to him about "just being friends" anyway, so I kind of got off the hook there...but it was still weird.

Number 2 hasn't contacted me in 17 days.
I have't contacted him in 14 days.
Just for no apparent reason, dead.
At first I thought he was just busy over that first weekend...sometimes we don't talk everyday and I freak out a little but it was always ok in the end, but now that it's been 17 days with NOTHING I of course see that he's gone. After our year of craziness. After our year of going through SO MUCH together. After all of that. Just gone. Like he never existed.
And I cry pretty much everyday...usually in my car listening to sad songs.

And I literally feel like my heart has been broken into a million pieces. Although it's repairable, it's going to be quite the process.

He's done this before and then will call me and we make up...it wasn't as long as this though. So I don't really see him calling at this point, but even if he does I know I have to ignore his calls and that we're really done now. Forever.

And as you know I am RIDING the single girls train in full fury...I am having a hard time even LOOKING and ENGAGING with an attractive guy. I just don't have the heart for it anymore.

As I told Annie the other day, You can only take so much rejection, ya know?

So I am giving this 6 weeks to be sad about it, we're down a little over 2 so about 4 more weeks to go. According to the cute ladies I work for, 6 weeks is their friendship groups theory on how long it takes to get over someone. By 6 weeks of NO communication you should be able to think of that person and not ache anymore, but instead make that weird face of "really? What was it about HIM?"

After 6 weeks I will consider joining match.com. Consider flirting with all the cute boys I come across again. Consider feeling something other then hurt, rejection, loss, and brokenness.

But until then.