Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Why Do We Do It?

I have been feeling bloaty and gross lately and could see it in my face and belly every time I looked in the mirror. But instead of just giving myself a break because, um HELLO we just had Christmas, I've been under a ton of stress moving across the world and starting a new job as a first year teacher, and am in a new place where not only do carbs and chocolate rule the world but BEER is only 1euro and so tasty! Instead I've been disgusted every time I look in the mirror, talk crap about myself all day in my head, and then post underneath icky looking pictures of myself on my blog rude comments about my weight. Initially I had thought that people would see the pictures and think "dang she gained so much weight!" so I was making snarky comments in order to preemptively strike...but then Melissa rightly "yelled" at me over gchat. I am being ridiculous.

But I have to ask myself, as women, why do we do this to ourselves? I even have a man who would love it if my ass was bigger, but I still get into these ruts where I feel awful about myself. And my clothes still fit perfectly fine and after a few days of no beer and less carbs I am feeling fine again and my face and puff have gone down. My room mates even keep telling me I'm crazy...so whats the deal?

One word: Crazy.

So I am trying not to be such a weirdo. And embrace the forced amounts of fat looking layers brought on upon by the lovely snow. And just be.

But damn, being a girl is tough sometimes.

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