Thursday, January 06, 2011

Oh I Love You So...

I have had quite a few texts and calls requesting a "WTF happened with postal annex guy?!" update...however if you may remember I am MOVING TO SLOVAKIA TODAY and getting ready and trying to see everyone has been Ridic so currently I am writing to you on my iPhone because there's no fucking wifi at LAX while waiting for my flight to London...half asleep girl at the gate with a top knot and a pink cashmere scarf typing furiously on her iPhone would be ME. Do you see how much I love all of you?!

Ok so...we met at Starbucks and I wore my seduction dress including fake eye lashes (obvi) and black leather boots to complete the outfit. FYI the trick of seduction is to look like you didn't really try that much at all...besides the eye lashes which I just couldn't help...I feel this was mastered. ANYWAY...he sat down and I was just a bitch and said
"So. What do you have to say for yourself. Where have you been."
He then proceeded to tell me that the realization of me leaving hit him and that his feelings weren't just butterflies anymore...and that he figured it was going to suck either way. Whether he didn't call and I left or if we spent more time together getting closer and then I left.
We both got teary.
I said he should have just told me what he was dealing with instead of just peacing out. I told him what Number 2 and countless other gentleman have done to me and how it looked from my perspective. He apologized profusely...and asked if we could go for a walk.

While walking to the car I realized then I had a decision to make. I could either be upset and hurt, go back home and tell him to go fuck himself OR be honest about my feelings that I L-word him, want to spend my last day with him, and cut him some slack since I know his lack of relationship experience and me leaving may have made the perfect storm in his little heart. SO I took his hand while we walked to the car and when he asked me to forgive him I did...and then made him promise to never do it again.
So we walked on the beach hand in hand and I found fun things for us to look at. We took pictures and I had him pick shells for me to take with me abroad. And of course we talked a lot more about him hurting me, my family, what to do about me leaving. It was so good. It was hard for me to be sad about leaving because I was so happy being with him. I couldn't stop smiling. He kept getting sad...I would catch him staring off into space or looking at me all sweetly and sad. Classic me would just shout "Dont be sad!" and then wrap my arms around him and give him a kiss.

I invited him to family dinner hoping it would get him some points back with the fam and because I secretly wanted to spend more time with him. Dinner with everyone was SO wonderful. Family didn't bring up any of the drama and we just laughed and ate delicious beans. I went back to his house to hang out a little before I was planning to go home and pack and get sleep...but as soon as he had me all cuddled up in that bed there was no way I was going anywhere.

Ladies and gentleman, we almost had SEX this time. Such a big deal for both of us to find someone we are that comfortable enough with to be ok doing it with. But he didn't have any condoms and ironically everytime I forget to take my pill someone wants to fuck me. We talked a lot more about what to do. He wants to write and chat and try and keep us going...obviously I was more than fine with that. I invited him to come visit in the spring. And that 6 months is doable for any couple.

And then I told him I was falling in love with him.

And then he held me so tight all night long. I couldn't sleep a wink but I wouldn't have moved if my life depended on it.

He came by my parents house today in between work to give me more kisses and he brought me a gift. All of these euro chocolates for the plane ride and his favorite lion king socks that always make us laugh. It was probably the sweetest and most thoughtful thing any boy has ever done for me. I haven't had a boy give me a gift since high school and it certainly wasn't unless it was a holiday or birthday. I cried my eyes out after he left, thank goodness my girls happened to be there to cheer me up. My heart hurts.

I am off for my adventure and am so excited but so sad at the same time. It hurts so much to leave something I know is so good. Something I've been waiting for. But I have to trust that my decision was made before meeting him and that it even led me to him since I was at the postal annex processing paperwork for my trip.

So if it was meant to be, it was meant to be...

Flight to Europe I go.

Good bye Loves.

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