Not Alone.

My previous post I tried to be positive in looking back over the year and my life and being thankful. It was tough after the year my family and I have had, but I am still extremely blessed in many areas so it wasn't impossible. Although I was feeling AWFUL with this retched cold, I still put a yummy dish together and headed over to my parents for the festivities with my family and extended family.

Then as we all sat down to eat, held hands, and bowed our heads to pray. Dad started this heart felt prayer:

"God, its tough to look back and be thankful after the year we have had (stopped to choke back tears-which of course had all of us crying). Uncle Junior died right around this time. Shortly after that we lost baby Samuel. Then Shiela was diagnosed with cancer. And thats just the stuff I remember. It was difficult to hear your voice and feel your presence throughout the last year. But just as we are surrounded today with these precious friends and family, they were your voice over the last year. We are so thankful to them for everything they have done for us. And we continue to ask for your blessings in our life...Amen"

That was almost exactly the prayer as I remember it. Even mom was crying -despite everything she really isn't much of a crier.    

I have to say. I constantly feel like I am being told to be happy and to feel blessed for everything I DO have. To be happy where I am. That there are lots of people in worse situations so I shouldn't complain.

So it was nice to feel validated in my feelings.

It WAS a tough year.
Its ok if I was having a hard time being thankful for the year of suck.
I wasn't the only one who felt overwhelmed and forgotten by God.

So really, I think this year I am thankful for not being alone.
For having my feelings validated.
I really am thankful most for my friends and family who supported me during this last year.
You come to treasure them even more when so many of them suddenly disappear.

Now off for some more Thera Flu...

lovelove.