Further Thoughts + Date with The New Guy

Yes, I'm still reeling from Saturday's fiasco...but I have talked to all my girls and everyone is in agreement without even knowing it, basically: I need to stop talking to Number 2. I've tried before and was succeeding until Saturday. I am fine with it, the more we talk the more this crap keeps happening and he needs to cut it out...which means I need to cut him out. Just like I told him, if he wanted to be with me he would. If he loved me as much as he says he does he would make us happen...but he doesn't. And I am trying to date SS, and I think I really like him, but of course its not the same as it is with Number 2. But maybe that's good. Number 2 and I do deeply love each other and have such hot passion and attraction for each other...but I've had it so locked away inside myself that when he sprung the "you know how much I love you's" on me the other night I was totally unprepared. Melissa brought up good points...such as, I am STILL not happy with Number 2. We have these amazing fleeting moments and then its back to me being sad and frustrated again. Why do I have something in my life that doesn't make me happy? You know who makes me happy? SS. He makes me laugh, treats me to well, invites me into his life, doesn't pressure me, everything I want. She also brought up that Number 2 and our issues aren't helping our current or future relationship with each other OR with other people. It's just a big huge road block for ANYTHING good. So I need to have this conversation with Number 2 asap...but it took me months to end things with him the first time so I think I will need a few days.

Date with the New Guy last night was ok I guess. He was ok-cute, has a real job and everything...good on paper. Plus, he does like to do fun things and seems fun. But he didn't make me laugh a ton...and he just didn't seem that into me. I mean, we had a good time...there just wasn't any passion or zing there. There wasn't a ton with SS either...but there was still a huge part of me that wanted to keep getting to know him...not so much with the New Guy. I got bored I guess. I don't know...at the end he said "we'll talk again soon" so I don't know what that means, but I haven't heard from him today so...whatever. It was just eh. Not a bad date, still fun, great restaurant and food...but just eh.

I am counting down until I get to see SS again tomorrow:) I just really enjoy spending time with him. We're going to this awesome French place we have both been wanting to try with the cafe chairs and everything! I think I am going to bring Life Aquatic for us to watch afterwards, since he hasn't seen that one and we both love Wes Anderson movies. I am REALLY pulling for a kiss/makeout...but I would be really happy with just snuggling too...especially after the Saturday Incident. Can we just start calling it "The Saturday Night Incident of 2010"? No other Saturday in my life will ever compare. ever.

lovelove.