The Big Question.

Last night he spent the night again, of course, but I was all hopped up on pain meds for my back and he didn't get in until late so we just held each other all night. Upon his entrance the first thing I said all half asleep,
"Hey baby...Im all high off my pain meds"
"haha ok, lets just go to sleep"

He woke up and went to work then came back for the few hours I was free...Im telling you he is just enthralled with me! Its so sweet. We fooled around...afterwards we were snuggling and napping and I popped the big question. I sat there for like 10 minutes trying to phrase it right.

"So. You can just answer honestly and don't have to worry about hurting my feelings. But...are we just fooling around until I leave or do you want this to be something?"


"No, I want this to be something. Which is hard given the circumstances."


"Well, I dont have to stay the entire time there"

And that was that.

Then we fell asleep wrapped up in each other until I got hungry and he took me out for lunch. After lunch we went for a walk in the storm looking at the beach houses and picking out the ones we liked while the wind whipped around us and it drizzled here and there, que romantica.

Still always opening my doors, walking on the outside of the sidewalk, pulling out my chair, insists on paying, walking me to my door, calling me gorgeous, I dont think he's just putting up a front. He just IS a gentleman. He just left and then 5 minutes later popped back in to kiss me more and tell me we should go for more walks, like at Balboa Park...WHO THIS GUY?!

Oh, AND he offered to help me move using his truck on Friday. He offered to help me pack tomorrow morning before I have museum plans with my dad and he has work. My parents are like...in shock...that this guy I've only known for a week wants to be so involved in my life. Especially since I am leaving.

I am having serious reconsiderations about leaving for 6 months. But whenever I think about NOT going I don't like that idea either. Maybe it will be good for us. Getting to know someone over the phone is actually really lovely because your forced to talk and not be distracted by hormones. And hes finishing his PhD this semester so he's busy too and may be displaced afterwards by a new job anyway.

I am overwhelmed with life decisions. But I dont think its really MY style to stay home from an amazing once in a lifetime opportunity for a boy I've only known for...a week. However, I am also a romantic and know a good "click" when I feel one.

Someone might be falling...

I lovelove.